


Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, Prologue/9+Epilogue

by alienat



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, bigbang 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:45:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 81,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienat/pseuds/alienat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared’s a shy young man, whose life has never been easy. His father hates him, his mother drinks her sorrows away and his husband Paul treats him like he is nothing more than a beautiful toy. When his husband has to go away on a business trip to Europe for two months, he sends Jared away to a ranch in the middle of nowhere to keep him under control. There, Jared meets people who show him what love, friendship and loyalty mean for the first time in his life. Can he escape his life and finally find some love and happiness for himself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

  
  
 

  


  
  
 

  


The day Jared was born, a thunderstorm ripped through San Antonio, Texas. It wasn’t really unexpected or uncommon on a stifling hot summer day. For the most people it was just another thunderstorm, and soon it would be forgotten.

 

For Jared though, it was what shaped his life. Since the day he was born to Gerry and Sherri Padalecki, he never had it easy. His mother cried all the time for her tall, skinny little boy, knowing what kind of life was waiting for Jared and she was too weak and self-absorbed to prevent it. His father wasn’t even present when a nurse brought Jared to his mother, and he never came to visit his wife and newborn son in the hospital.

 

Ryan, Jared’s older brother, was thrilled at the idea of a younger brother. Being only eight at the time however, he couldn’t feel happy about the little person with wrinkled skin that was wrapped up in a blanket and tucked into his mother’s arms. He wanted to play baseball or basketball with his little brother and not watch him sucking on his thumb.

 

Life at the Padalecki household had changed even before Jared was born. An icy atmosphere had settled over the people living in the big Victorian house and Jared’s birth would only make the animosities grow. Gerry’s and Sherri’s relationship crumbled piece by piece. They barely even spoke to each other.

 

The happy family was only a picture they kept up for their friends and Gerry’s business partners. Having no other immediate family in the area made it easier to maintain the picture of the perfect family. When at home and alone though, Gerry almost never talked to his wife and when he did he yelled. Sherri started to drink and would fall into a catatonic state, leaving the upbringing of Ryan and now Jared to their nanny.

 

  
  


 

Jared was two and a half when his father hit him for the first time. The little boy had just wanted to drink his juice that morning and had knocked the plastic cup over. The juice spilled over the counter and dribbled to the floor before Carol, Jared’s nanny, could even react. Gerry was on his way to work – he imported European sports cars - and some of the juice spattered on his nine-hundred-dollar Armani suit.

 

Normally Gerry wouldn’t even be in the kitchen when Jared was having his breakfast, but today he had gotten a call from his friend Paul Johansson, which had delayed his departure by a little over an hour. They met through their respective businesses - Paul owned an import/export company - about five years back and they became fast friends. Paul lived in LA, though, and they mostly kept in contact over the phone.

 

Jared didn’t even think about spilling his juice, he just giggled at the way his hands splashed in the puddle before him. Carol was smiling at the little boy while cleaning away the juice, when she saw Gerry slap his hand hard against Jared’s cheek, leaving a red and burning handprint on the child’s face. Jared immediately started to wail, big tears streaming from his little eyes, and Carol rushed over to him, protecting him of any further attacks from his father.

 

“You worthless little brat,” Gerry spat with a hateful look in his eyes and rushed out of the kitchen cursing his son with a lot of names that made Carol’s ears burn, and she had three teenagers at home.

 

It didn’t evade her notice that Gerry never really cared for Jared. He never hugged or kissed him, never talked to him, he only ever yelled at Jared. He didn’t even spend time with Jared. Carol knew that he spent time with Ryan and she couldn’t remember ever hearing Gerry call Ryan names. She wondered what a little boy like Jared had done to deserve the everlasting wrath of his father.

 

Sherri usually spent time with Jared, when she wasn’t drunk or depressed. She seemed to really love her little boy and Carol asked herself what could have happened to Sherri that she felt the need to use alcohol to help her through the day.

 

The next day Gerry fired her with the statement that he wasn’t willing to spend money on his worthless son when it was clearly good for nothing. Carol wanted to argue but Gerry handed her a check with a generous bonus for her work and Carol rushed out of the house. She felt bad leaving Jared, the little boy with the dimpled smile who she had come to love, behind. But the bonus was just too big to say ‘no’ to, and besides she was sure that once Gerry made his decision nothing or nobody could change it.

 

  
  


 

Jared was a quiet boy growing up. He loved his books and their stories about heroes and knights in universes far, far away and he wished he could be one of them and escape his life forever. He also loved to paint and draw and his mother always told him how good he was. Sherri loved the drawings of scenery or people Jared had watched on the street. Or sometimes he drew images of the stories he read and how he imagined them to be. They all conveyed vibrancy and liveliness and Sherri wished her son would display the same in his behavior.

 

However Jared’s drawings never made their way to the fridge because Jared’s dad firstly didn’t like having anything on the fridge in general and secondly he didn’t like Jared’s drawings in particular.

 

When he first started drawing, Jared always went to his dad to show him the drawings he made. He soon learned that his father wasn’t interested in anything Jared did, especially not the good. He never asked what Jared liked to do in his free time or how Jared’s day at school was. Jared even had to wear Ryan’s old clothes, because his father never wanted to spend any money on him.

 

That however, didn’t make him the most popular kid in school. Jared came home on many occasions without his bag or ripped jeans or a black eye. But instead of telling Jared that it wasn’t his fault and maybe buying him new clothes, Gerry picked on Jared even more. He always told him how worthless he was, a waste of space and air and if Gerry would have had his way, Jared would never have been born.

 

Ryan and Jared got along well when they were both home. But Ryan, sensing the icy atmosphere between his parents ever since Jared was born and even before that, would rather go out than spend any time at home. But, when he was home, he always snagged some chocolate or other candy to share it with Jared. He knew that his father didn’t care for Jared. He never experienced the real way Gerry treated Jared, though. That only happened when no one else was around.

 

Ryan left for college when he turned eighteen. He was glad to get away from the loveless house in San Antonio even though he felt a little bad to leave Jared behind. But he was only eighteen, what else could he have done?!

 

After Ryan left it really started to get ugly for Jared. His father hit him almost every day, whether there was a reason or not. Sometimes it happened just because Gerry thought Jared was too loud walking up or down the stairs or the scratching of the pencil on Jared’s sketchbook unnerved him. Even if he didn’t hit him he always found fault with Jared and told him that he was nothing but trouble.

 

Sherri fell deeper and deeper into the bottle. She had started drinking shortly after Jared had been born, but it got worse over the years. Mostly, she didn’t even realize what happened to her boy and when she did notice she cried, telling Jared how sorry she was. Even as a little boy, Jared became his mother’s saving grace.

 

  
  


 

They moved to LA shortly after Ryan left for college. He was attending the engineering program at UCLA and Gerry wanted to be closer to his oldest son. That’s when Paul Johansson started to become a constant figure in their lives. Jared only knew Paul because he had heard his dad talking to him on the phone more than once. But now Paul came over to their house almost every day.

 

Sherri didn’t seem to mind, but seeing as she was constantly drunk, she probably wouldn’t have said anything anyway. Paul was nice enough though and Gerry never hit Jared when Paul was over to visit. So Jared came to enjoy the days when Paul would come over. His father and Paul would stay in the office the whole day and leave Jared to draw without picking at him for being a ‘girl’. The only time he saw his father and Paul was at dinner. And then Paul always treated Jared nicely.

 

The older Jared got the more Paul seemed interested in him. He asked about school and his hobbies, about his friends. At first Jared was thrilled that somebody seemed to be interested in his life. But Paul was always touching him. He wanted Jared to sit on his lap while telling him about his day. Paul would lay his hands on Jared’s hips, put his head on his shoulder and whisper things in Jared’s ear, sometimes even pressing wet kisses to his neck or cheek. The hands on his hips grasped him so hard that Jared couldn’t move away and they left bruises on his smooth skin.

 

Slowly but surely Jared came to loathe the days Paul visited. The older man began to make dirty comments about Jared’s cock-sucking lips or his hot ass, and being only fifteen, the remarks made Jared really uncomfortable. Paul even asked Jared if he ever had sex before and Jared blushed so hard he thought his head might explode. The boy had shaken his head and Paul had nodded with a pleased smirk on his face.

 

Jared realized that he liked boys when he was sixteen and got a hard-on watching his classmates play basketball. Looking at bare, sweaty chests made an unfamiliar heat pool in his belly. After the game he went home and jerked off for the first time to the image of his naked classmates. He felt dirty afterwards – not, because he liked boys, but because he had jerked off – and seeing, as he had no friends, he had nobody he could talk to.

 

  
  


 

Chad transferred to the high school in Jared’s junior year and he instantly took to the tall, skinny boy with the sad face. Even though the other students called him crazy for sitting with Jared at lunch, when he could sit with the popular crowd, Chad still chose Jared. He knew Jared needed a friend and Chad was over needing to be popular in high school. He liked to do his own thing and he wanted to be friends with Jared-sad-puppy-dog-eyes-Padalecki.

 

Besides, he had never seen the fun in bullying other students. When he caught Brian Hanson as he threw Jared’s bag in the mud, Chad dealt out a few punches. He got a black eye, but Brian’s nose was broken. Nate, a buddy of Brian’s, probably had a broken wrist. They left Chad and Jared alone after that.

 

It took him almost two months before Jared even said ‘hi’ to him in the hallways and acknowledged his presence at lunch. It took him even longer to get an earnest smile out of Jared. Damn, this boy was beautiful. Chad wasn’t gay, but he could admit if a guy looked good. And Jared? He was the best looking guy on campus.

 

Chad knew that even if girls or boys would notice it, they wouldn’t try to hit on him. Jared always walked with his head down; his floppy hair falling over his face and never making eye contact. Jared was a shadow in high school, nobody really noticed him.

 

Finally, they became friends and Jared started to open up, telling Chad a little about himself. Chad even learned that Jared’s family wasn’t poor like he assumed, because Jared was always wearing old and worn clothes. Jared just shrugged like it didn’t matter to him and Chad let it go. He knew that Jared would talk to him once he felt a little safer.

 

Chad never went to Jared’s house after school or on weekends and Jared barely visited Chad in his free time, saying that his father didn’t like him going out. Chad made Jared promise that if something happened at home he would come to Chad and tell him. Jared never did.

The blond boy had his assumptions of what was going on at Jared’s home, but he never told Jared and Jared never confirmed any of it. Chad sometimes thought about talking to somebody about Jared, but he knew that Jared would see it as a betrayal and Chad refused to do anything to destroy Jared’s trust in him.

 

  
  


 

The day Jared turned eighteen Gerry called the young man into his office. Jared went with an ache in his stomach because he knew that it couldn’t be good when his father summoned him to the office. When Jared opened the door, he found Gerry and Paul sitting on the big leather couch having a whiskey.

 

“Come in!” Gerry ordered and Jared walked slowly inside, the pit in his stomach growing and growing.

 

“Dad?” Jared asked with a quiet voice.

 

“He is so obedient, don’t you think, Paul?” Gerry asked with a sly smirk on his face.

 

Paul laughed. “You’re making him uncomfortable, Gerry.” Jared knew Paul didn’t care, that it was only meant to gain Jared’s trust. “Jared, come and sit with us. We wanted to talk to you.” It sounded important.

 

Jared didn’t say anything, knowing it would only make the teasing worse and walked over to sit in one of the armchairs.

 

“Jared,” Paul started, “I think it’s finally time to tell you that your dad and I made an arrangement a long time ago. And this arrangement concerns you.”

 

Jared’s eyes jerked up. “W-what?” he stuttered.

 

“Jared, you may have noticed that I have a clear interest in you and I went to your father a few years back and asked for the right to marry you after you turned eighteen.”

 

Jared looked on in shock. He couldn’t believe what was about to happen to him. His father wouldn’t, he couldn’t just give him away.

 

“The time has come now Jared, and we’d like to make it official,” Paul continued. The older man stood and walked over to Jared. He pressed his rough lips against Jared’s in a bruising kiss and Jared’s stomach turned upside down.

 

“You can be glad that someone as wealthy and nice as Paul is even considering marrying you,” Gerry spit out. He grabbed a few papers lying next to him on the couch and handed them to Jared. “Here, you need to sign those to make it official.”

 

It was the prenuptial and Jared wanted to flee, get away from the man who was trying to ‘sell’ him to the highest bidder. Even thinking about marrying Paul made him want to puke. But how far could he get without money? “No.” He shook his head.

 

Jared never had sex before. He hadn’t been kissed or had a boyfriend. Sure he had crushes on celebrities or even on his PE teacher, Mr. Donovan, with his dark hair and broad muscular shoulders. But he never had any type of a relationship and now they wanted him to marry Paul.

 

“Jared, this is not up for discussion.” Paul’s voice was calm, but Jared could tell that he was losing his patience.

 

“No,” he said more forcefully. “You can’t make me.” It was the first time he had ever raised his voice against his father or even tried to tell him no.

 

Gerry was up in his face in two seconds flat. His hand curled tight around Jared’s throat, pressing Jared’s back against the nearest wall. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do, boy. You are gonna marry Paul and get out of my house once and for all or I’m gonna tell everyone what a worthless little bastard you are.”

 

Jared felt the tears burn behind his eyes, but he also knew that his father and Paul would only make more fun of him, if he started to cry. He didn’t want his father to tell anybody anything about him. What would people think of him when they realized what a worthless, pathetic person Jared really was? He didn’t want people to know.

 

“Gerry!” Paul’s voice cut through the icy air. “That’s enough. I think Jared will say ‘yes’ now. Won’t you, Jared?”

 

Gerry’s fingers loosened around Jared’s throat and the younger man gasped for breath. Jared knew saying ‘yes’ was the only way to get out of there unharmed. And he did, his stomach churned, but he said ‘yes’.

 

  
  


 

Everybody else was shocked at the announcement of the wedding. Sherri even stayed sober long enough to talk to Jared about the marriage and ask her son if that was what he really wanted. Jared had nodded and Sherri had poured herself another drink.

 

Ryan came over to ask his little brother why he would marry somebody who was almost thirty years older than he was. Jared told Ryan that he loved Paul and the older man let it go. Jared just couldn’t tell him what Gerry and Paul had done. He wouldn’t be able to stand the way his brother would look at him, like the pathetic looser Jared was. Ryan clearly didn’t agree with Jared’s decision, but he promised to be Jared’s best man, if this was what he wanted.

 

Ryan also went to Gerry to talk to their dad about the marriage. He told him that he didn’t think that it was right to let Paul marry Jared. But Gerry brushed him off and said if that was what Jared wanted he would allow him that. It was the same thing he told to one of Jared’s teachers who expressed his concern.

 

The only one who knew about the arrangement was Chad. Not because Jared wanted to tell him, but because Chad found him when he was bawling his eyes out and he made Jared tell him everything. So, Jared did and he was scared as hell that Chad would be gone afterwards, but his friend was still there by his side.

 

Chad wanted to call the police and tell them what Paul and Gerry did to Jared or at least tell Ryan, but Jared made him promise that he wouldn’t do that. He didn’t want anyone knowing what a pathetic, worthless person he really was. It was a hard fight but finally Chad promised, because he didn’t want Jared to think that he might go behind his back.

 

  
  


 

Two weeks later after the marriage was made official, Jared moved into Paul’s house.

 

The wedding had been a big party with lots of Paul’s friends. Jared’s side had only been Ryan, Gerry and Sherri. Paul knew exactly what Chad meant to Jared and had some of the people who worked for him watch out so that Chad wouldn’t interrupt the wedding. Jared had asked Chad to stay away, so he wouldn’t get hurt.

 

When Ryan asked about Chad, Jared explained that a family emergency had kept his best friend away. Ryan didn’t think that Jared would lie to him so he let it go. He never had been a big fan of Paul, but he also didn’t know the older man all that well. So if Jared had fallen in love with him, he couldn’t be so bad.

 

The wedding reception took place at Paul’s mansion in Hollywood. He and Jared were both wearing tuxes. Jared wanted to rip off his bow tie because he felt like he was suffocating. Jared had thought about what he could possibly do to escape this, but he had come up blank. He had no money and no place to go. He didn’t want to end up on the streets. There was no other way other than to marry Paul.

 

Sherri was downing one glass of champagne after another and was clearly beyond drunk. Gerry was sitting with a smug grin at one of the tables talking to Paul’s friends. Jared couldn’t remember their names. He wanted to scream or punch something. He wanted to run and never stop. But he didn’t and when Paul asked him to dance he stood and walked to the dance floor with his husband.

 

Later that night, Paul pulled him upstairs into their bedroom and took away everything Jared had left of his self-esteem.

 

  
  


 

From then on Jared’s life consisted of nothing more than sex with Paul, possibly more than once a day, cooking, cleaning and serving Paul’s business partners when his husband had them over for dinner. Paul owned an import/export company and earned a lot of money with it. He was often away on business trips. At first he took Jared with him and then he decided it was better for Jared to stay home.

 

Chad checked up on Jared regularly, by phone or sometimes he came by when he knew that Paul wasn’t home, making sure that Jared was still in one piece. Paul hadn’t hurt him. Not really. He liked rough sex and mostly didn’t even prepare Jared before he pushed inside. Jared had learned to live with that, though. He had nothing to compare the sex to so he wasn’t even sure if that was something out of the ordinary.

 

Paul hated Chad and Chad hated Paul. Every time Chad was with Jared he tried to convince the younger man to run away. He even offered Jared money to help. But Jared knew that Paul would find him, no matter how far he would run.

 

When Paul’s friends and business partners came over for dinner or to play some poker, Paul ordered Jared to serve them. On those nights his clothes consisted of tight hot pants and a latex shirt. Paul loved to show him off. He never allowed his friends to touch Jared, but for Jared it was embarrassing enough that they all could see what he always tried to hide beneath large clothes. Normally Paul didn’t care what Jared wore, but when his friends would come over he insisted on the clothes.

 

One of Paul’s friends was especially persistent. His name was Roberto Coltrano and he did close business with Paul. He always tried to grab Jared’s ass or crotch when Paul wasn’t looking. He even had offered Paul money for one night with Jared. So far, Paul refused and Jared was grateful for that. He was really scared that Paul would give him away so his friends could have their way with him.

 

Jared was still allowed to see his parents when he wanted. He didn’t go often and if he went, it was only when he knew that his dad wasn’t home. He tried to take care of his mom, but there was barely a time when she was sober these days.

 

Paul however, had made it clear that he didn’t want Jared to see Ryan. His brother called once a week and they talked on the phone. Jared always refused to meet with Ryan. It wasn’t as if they had met regularly before the wedding, so it wasn’t too hard to keep Ryan at arm’s length. Besides, being a successful engineer Ryan had more than enough work to do.

 

Jared hated his life and his husband. He had never loved Paul in the first place, but now he loathed the man. He just couldn’t think of a way to get away from his life and the marriage.

 

  
  


 

Two years later Jared was sitting in his husband’s office waiting with dread for whatever was to come. Paul mostly summoned Jared to his office when he planned a dinner party with his friends and he wanted to discuss the specifics. But this day was different. Jared knew there won’t be a dinner party any time soon.

 

“You know that I have to go to Europe and Asia for a longer business trip?” Paul asked looking at Jared with cold eyes.

 

Jared nodded. Paul taught him to only speak when asked a direct question and this one was more rhetorical than anything else. Jared knew that Paul had to go away for at least two months, his husband told him four times already.

 

Paul normally went on shorter business trips every few weeks. They mostly too two or three days; once it was a week and Jared always spent the time at his parents’ house. He hated when Paul left him at his parents’ house. He felt like an incapable child and his father still didn’t miss a chance to tell him how worthless he really was.

 

“Okay. I don’t want you to stay with your parents this time, though. So, I spoke with my good friend David. You met him at the wedding reception. He works at a ranch somewhere in the middle of Colorado. I want you to go there. He already booked a room for you. I thought you’d like to relax a little.”

 

Jared’s eyes shot up in surprise. He thought that Paul would send him to his parents just like all the times before, but a ranch somewhere in the middle of nowhere didn’t sound any more appealing. And he knew Paul wasn’t doing it for him. He was doing it to keep Jared under control.

 

He thought about saying ‘no’, but he was too scared of what Paul might do if Jared refused to go. Paul was always threatening him with telling Jared that he’s thinking about accepting Coltrano’s offer. Until now Paul hadn’t, but Jared knew he would if Jared made him angry enough.

 

“Your flight goes in three days.” Paul handed him a brochure. There was a picture of a two storey house displayed in front of the mountains and beneath a clear blue skin. “You’re going to Hide Ranch.”

 

 

  
  


 

  


The only thing Jensen had in common with Jared was that it was raining the day he was born.

 

For Jensen’s life never was hard or difficult. His parents loved him and he got along very well with his siblings. His parents wanted him and he was a child born out of the love of two people who couldn’t love each other more.

 

Donna and Alan Ackles always tried to impart their values over to their kids while all three of them grew up in a protected, non-violent household. Until eighth grade Jensen never got so much as a light punch from his brother, Josh and even then his older brother was grounded for hitting Jensen.

 

His father took them fishing and later they went to baseball and football games or horseback riding. Jensen was supported in everything he wanted to do or try out. When he wanted to learn to play the guitar, Donna looked for a teacher in Dallas and Alan went with Jensen to get his first guitar. Jensen played Lacrosse in high school and his whole family came to each and every home game. Sometimes they even went to the away games, if it wasn’t too far.

 

They didn’t have much money. Alan was a police officer and Donna worked as a teacher, but they were happy. Jensen had two close friends in high school, Ty and Zack, but he was well known and most kids liked him. He wasn’t really part of the popular crowd, but he didn’t belong to the geeks, either.

 

Jensen brought home his first boyfriend when he was sixteen. He and Jason lasted for the better part of one year, but in the end they decided to go their separate ways. Ever since, Jensen had a few serious relationships. The longest lasted a little over two years. He had met Justin at a club shortly after graduating college and they had hit it off right away. However, after two years they were both sure that they wanted different things out of life. Justin wanted to get married and have a family. And Jensen? He just couldn’t think of settling down at only twenty-four.

 

  
  


 

With his father being in law enforcement and Josh becoming a lawyer it was kind of a given that Jensen would decide to work in the same field. He always wanted to work for the police, even as a little boy and when he got his acceptance letter from UCLA to study criminology, he packed his bags and moved to Los Angeles.

 

Jensen met Christian Kane through one of his classes at college and they became fast friends, having a lot in common. They both wanted to work with the police ever since they were kids, liked the same kind of music, country and southern rock, and were both gay.

 

When they started working with the LAPD, it was everything Jensen ever dreamt about. Finally he was out on the streets catching the bad guys. Jensen and Chris did their job well and they got promoted fast. At 26 they were two of the youngest in the squad to become detectives.

 

  
  


 

One day Jensen’s entire life changed. From one second to another he became the hunted instead of the hunter. He had just transferred over to the gang and narcotics division when it happened.

 

It was completely unexpected. Jensen just wanted to buy some milk for his breakfast the next day and Chris was waiting in the car outside to drive them back to station. A guy walked into the store and took out a gun. He wore a dark hoodie and a baseball cap and Jensen couldn’t really see his face. So he waited. He stayed calm, one hand on his own weapon.

 

The guy was nervous, rocking back and forth on his heels, almost begging the cashier to put the money in the bag faster. Jensen saw his chance to do something, took out his gun and said, “Police. Don’t move.” What he didn’t expect was for the guy to spin around and pull the trigger. Jensen fired back. He waited for the pain indicating that he had been shot but it never came.

 

The guy, though, fell down to his knees pressing his hand against his chest. Blood was flowing out of the chest wound, painting his fingers red. Jensen hadn’t really meant to shoot the guy, he had just defended himself.

 

Chris, having heard the gun shots, rushed into the store with his gun drawn. He ran to the guy’s side pressing his own hands to the wound, the blood painting them red, too. Jensen saw Chris taking out his cell to call 911, but it was all happening in a blur. Jensen couldn’t understand what was going on. He did what he had to do, but it still felt wrong. He had shot someone. He had probably killed someone. The gun in his hand became too heavy and he let it fall to the floor.

 

The man, or more accurately the boy, he couldn’t have been more than seventeen or eighteen, died in Chris’ arms that night. Yet, that wasn’t the worst of it. Later, they found out that the boy, Fabrizio Coltrano, was the son of Mafia boss Roberto Coltrano,.

 

  
  


 

IA did an investigation on the shooting and Jensen had been suspended for the better part of a week, before he was cleared of all charges. All witnesses had testified that Fabrizio Coltano had shot first and Jensen had reacted in self defense. And it helped that Jensen’s colleagues had found the bullet of the guy’s gun stuck in the wall only inches away from where Jensen had stood.

 

  
  


 

Jensen was sitting across from his sergeant, Charles Whitfield. They’d always gotten along well and they both knew that Jensen hadn’t had a chance shooting the boy.

 

They also knew that Roberto Coltrano would want to avenge his son’s death and Jensen was in danger. Coltrano was one of the biggest crime bosses in LA. He was known for his ruthlessness. Jensen knew that Coltrano had his men everywhere and sooner or later, probably sooner, they’d get to him.

 

Until now there hadn’t been any death threats, but it was just a matter of time. Or maybe, they wouldn’t bother with death threats, but just put a bullet through Jensen’s head when he was walking down the street.

 

That was why Sergeant Whitfield handed him the brochure with a two storey house on display in front of the mountains beneath a clear blue sky. He and Lieutenant Beaver had decided they wanted him to hide for some time.

 

“That’s where they’re sending you to hide. Apparently the owners are good friends of Lieutenant Beaver.” Whitfield gave him a tight smile. They both knew Jensen couldn’t hide forever.

 

Jensen looked down at the brochure again. How ironic was it that the place was called Hide Ranch?

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

  
  
 

**_Part One, Hide Ranch_ **

 

The Hide Ranch is a complex of houses and stables located about an hour away from the town of Montrose in western Colorado. It’s a five hour drive from Denver and seated within the Rocky Mountains.

 

It’s exactly what its name offers it to be, a hiding place. If you have something, or someone you want to hide from, or if you just want to get away from all the stress and pressure of real life, Hide Ranch is the right place. It offers seclusion and privacy because there is no cell phone reception and internet service can only be achieved through satellite or dial-up due to its almost hidden location in the guard of the Rocky Mountains.

 

The ranch is owned by Jeffery Dean and Samantha Morgan and has a familiar feel to it. There are never more than ten guests and twenty ranch people together at the ranch at the same time. Many of the guests stay at least for four to five weeks. In such a small place it’s normal that you interact with the people who are around you. So it becomes easy to call them friends or even family for this time. Nobody asks questions, when you don’t want them to be asked. They take you the way you are without prejudices and presumptions.

 

 

  
  


 

  


The only road that leads to the Hide Ranch is gravelly and bumpy. Jensen is sitting next to Chris on the passenger seat of their rented SUV driving this said road. Chris guesses it will only be another ten to fifteen minutes ‘til they finally get to the ranch. He knows that Jensen is pissed that the powers that be are sending him here and Chris would probably be pissed as well if it had been him who got sent away to hide. But it isn’t, and he can only feel grateful for the decision to hide Jensen for some time.

 

They have been best friends since they met their first year in college and Chris can’t imagine his life without Jensen in it. The night of the shooting he was sitting in the car listening to a stupid rock song on the radio and tapping his fingers against the wheel to the rhythm of the song when he heard the gun shots. The first thing that came to his mind was ‘Please don’t let it be Jensen’.

 

The moment he jerked open the door to the store and saw the boy lying on the floor dying, his eyes searched for Jensen. His friend was standing in one of the aisles with his gun still directed at the boy and relief surged in Chris’ body. He had been so damn happy that Jensen was okay.

 

They never talked about it. They never do and probably never will. But Chris hopes that Jensen knows how much he means to him. He’s like a brother and the only family Chris has left. His mom died two years ago, losing her fight to cancer and he doesn’t know his father, so Jensen is all he’s got.

 

Chris looks at his friend out of the corner of his eye and sees him tapping his fingers against his jean-clad thigh. He’s also wearing a dark shirt and cowboy boots. Thank god he grew up in Texas and still knows what to expect on a ranch. Jensen is biting his bottom lip and Chris knows that he’s only seconds away from exploding.

 

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

 

Jensen snorts. “Yeah?”

 

“Sure, the Sarge and Lieutenant Beaver will find a way.” If he says it often enough he has to start believing it sometime.

 

“You really believe that, Kane?” Jensen’s voice is hard and full of anger. “You think that Coltrano will have forgotten that I killed his son when I come back to LA in a few weeks?”

 

“Well, Organized Crime is working a case against him.” It’s more desperation than anything else that makes Chris bring it up. He doesn’t want to think about what will happen when they don’t find anything that will put Coltrano behind bars.

 

“They’ve been working the case for years, man,” Jensen says forcefully. “The weeks I stay here won’t change anything and I can’t stay forever.”

 

“So, what are you saying? You’d rather go back and get shot?”

 

“What? No. Damn it, Chris. You think I wanna die?”

 

“It sure as hell sounds like it.”

 

Jensen slams his hands hard against the dashboard. “Shit… this… God…” He tears at his hair in frustration. “I hate being sent away and just wait for it, y’know.”

 

Chris nods. “I know, man. But maybe laying low just for a while isn’t the worst idea, okay? In two or three months a lot of things can change.”

 

He really wishes he could believe that or at least keep Jensen hidden from Coltrano for the rest of Jensen’s life. But that would mean giving Jensen a completely new identity and he knows his friend would never agree with that. Jensen is already pissed that the Sarge had forbidden him to contact his family for the time being.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Jensen leans back against his seat and rubs his hand over his face. “How long ‘til we actually get to the damn ranch?”

 

“I’m guessing another ten minutes, maybe fifteen.”

 

“Great,” Jensen sighs. “I could actually use a shower.” He frowns. “They have showers, right?”

 

“Dude, we’re in the middle of the US, not on a deserted island. They have showers.”

 

“Huh,” Jensen shrugs. “Knowing Beaver I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d sent me camping in the middle of the forest.”

 

Chris laughs, because Jensen’s right. If the older man didn’t know the guys who owned the ranch he probably would have put Jensen in a survival camp for the duration. Just to make sure he stays hidden and because it’s his kind of humor. Chris is just glad that they agreed that it was a good idea that Chris was going with Jensen on this trip, just in case.

 

 

  
  


 

  


Ten minutes later Chris drives around a bend and in front of them is the brown two-story main house of the ranch. In the background Jensen sees something blue shimmering. He guesses it’s the lake they were talking about in the brochure. They also talked about some activities in the brochure like horseback riding or hiking. Jensen wasn’t really interested in doing any of it, when he first read about it, but being here looking at the scenery, horseback riding and hiking seem like a good idea.

 

He sees other buildings surrounding the main house. Jensen assumes that these are the stables and barns of the ranch. The cabins for the guests are all further down towards the lake. Chris drives to the back of the main house and stops the SUV next to a Lexus SC convertible and a Ford Wrangler. For a second Jensen wonders how the Lexus got here safely with the bumpy road that leads to the ranch.

 

There are a few other cars parked in the back, two Mercedes, one sports car one SUV, and three trucks. Some of the people here seem to have a lot of money. Jensen shrugs and grabs his bag out of the back of their rental and follows Chris who already made his way to the back porch.

 

A welcome sign greets them at the door and when they walk inside they find themselves in a big room that seems to function as a lobby, with a sitting area and a reception. A young blond girl is currently shuffling through papers, but she looks up when she hears them and gives them a bright smile.

 

“Welcome to Hide Ranch. My name is Alona.”

 

Chris and Jensen walk over to the reception desk and give the girl their names. She looks down at a small list and checks their names off the list.

 

“It’s a pleasure to have you here,” and it sounds as if she really means it. Jensen has to admit he is a little surprised. He didn’t know what to expect from the ranch, but definitely not this warm hearted welcome. “We’re all pretty close here and we’d like to include our guests in our family. Is it okay if we call you by your first names?” Chris and Jensen share a small look, before they both nod. “Well, then,” Alona smiles. “Christian, Jensen please follow me and I’ll show you to your cabin.”

 

“Actually it’s Chris and Jen,” Chris corrects her and Alona laughs.

 

“Sorry, Chris and Jen.” Jensen detects a mischievous glint in Alona’s eyes, knowing she’s teasing them.

 

He snorts and Alona winks at him. She’s very pretty, with long blond hair and blue eyes with a kissable mouth and a hot body. Even though Jensen is gay he can acknowledge that Alona is beautiful, and he knows most men would want someone like her.

 

Alona ushers them out of the back door again and they follow her down a gravelly path towards one of the cabins looking over the lake. It’s the first time that Jensen really takes in the scenery and it’s breathtaking. The lake is deep blue beneath a cloudless, light blue sky and the mountains reflect on the smooth surface.

 

“Wow,” he gasps.

 

Alona smiles. She’s probably used to this reaction from their guests. “Nice, right?”

 

“Nice? It’s fucking beautiful,” Jensen says.

 

“Yeah,” Alona laughs, “You’re right. It’s beautiful. Whenever I have to go away for days or weeks the view of the lake and the mountains still takes my breath away.”

 

A young man walks the path in front of them. His head is down and his long hair falls in his face. A sketchbook is tucked under his arm and he seems completely oblivious of them and buried in his own thoughts.

 

“Hey, Jared,” Alona exclaims and the young man jerks his head up. The guy can’t be more than twenty or twenty-one and damn he’s hot. His long bangs frame a perfect face, with dark eyes and high cheekbones. Jensen assumes that he’s hiding a nice body under his baggy-jeans and too big t-shirt, with his height and the broad shoulders.

 

The guy’s eyes widen with shock when he sees them. He looks a lot like a deer caught in the headlights and Jensen wonders why. Jared’s cheeks turn bright red, as if they just caught him in the act of doing something immoral.

 

“H-hey,” he stutters in response and rushes past them towards a small cabin off to the left.

 

Alona sighs. “Jared just got here yesterday. He’s very shy, but nice and friendly. He sat the whole day by the lake and doodled in his sketchbook.”

 

Jensen looks to where Jared disappeared into his cabin. Something about this guy catches his attention. Maybe it’s the way he blushed when he saw them or the sadness in his eyes. Jensen isn’t sure.

 

“So, you grew up here?” Chris asks, changing the subject.

 

“Yeah,” Alona nods. “I’m Jeff and Sam’s daughter, so I kinda grew up here. You’ll meet them tonight at dinner.” She unlocks the door to the cabin they’ve just reached and they follow her inside. “Breakfast is served everyday between 7:00 am and 10:00 am at the main house. Lunch depends on what you have planned for the day. You can eat at the main house at 1:00 pm or take a lunch box out if you go horseback riding, fishing or hiking. That’s completely up to you. Dinner is normally served at 7:00 pm and it’s the time of the day when everybody gets together.”

 

Jensen raises his eyebrows. He hadn’t realized that they have a joint dinner.

 

“Well, obviously you don’t have to participate if you don’t want to,” Alona adds when she sees the look on Jensen face. “It’s just kind of nice to get to know the people you’re spending your time with over the next few weeks.”

 

Jensen isn’t sure he likes the idea about socializing with the other guests on the ranch. Somehow, he wanted to wallow in his self-pity for some time, but he finds himself kind of starting to like it here. Besides, Chris would never let him live it down.

 

His best friend slaps Jensen on the back and nods. “Sure, we’ll be there.”

 

Alona grins brightly. “Great. I’ll see you at seven, then. Or if you have any questions, you can dial the 1 on the phone and you’ll be directly connected to the reception desk or you can just come over there.” Jensen and Chris nod. “Good. See you later, guys.” She waves one last time and closes the door of the cabin behind her, leaving Chris and Jensen alone.

 

The cabin is not really big. It has a decent sized living room and a fire place, which they probably won’t use since it’s summer. There is also a small kitchen with a coffeemaker, a microwave and dishes. Two bedrooms with queen-sized beds, a closet and a dresser are situated at the far end of the cabin on either side of the bathroom. The bathroom has a tub and a shower and two basins.

 

The highlight however, is the big terrace looking out over the lake and the mountains. It’s an awesome sight and Jensen knows he will be spending a lot of time here just enjoying the quiet. He looks to his right and sees that Jared’s cabin is only a few yards away. He hasn’t spoken one word with Jared but he really wants to get to know the younger man.

 

“So, what do you think?” Chris’ voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he turns to see him leaning against the terrace door.

 

Jensen shrugs. “Could be worse. I mean, if you have to stay hidden there are worse places. I think I could like it here.”

 

“So, I don’t have to hide the car keys, because you’ll run back to LA come the night?”

 

Jensen laughs. “Naw. You’ll probably do it anyway, but no, I don’t plan on running back to LA. I still don’t think hiding will do any good, but if Beaver and Whitfield want me gone I can at least enjoy my stay here. Maybe I’ll go horseback riding sometime.” Jensen sighs contentedly. “Man, I haven’t done that since I left Texas. Once I was in LA, I never found the time.”

 

Chris slaps his back and grins. “Man, this is our first vacation since we graduated. We’ll make the best of it.” He let out a deep breath. “I think I like it here.”

 

Hoping that Chris is right and they can enjoy their paid vacation, Jensen nods. There is something in his gut however telling him that maybe everything won’t be so easy.

 

 

  
  


 

  


David Boreanaz, manager at Hide Ranch, is currently in his office when his gaze falls on a reservation that has his blood boiling and freezing at the same time. He knows rationally that’s not possible but the name displayed on the paper makes him angry and scared at the same time.

 

Only yesterday he went to pick up Jared from the airport in Denver and drove him to the ranch. Paul and he had been friends for the last ten years. They met when David was still studying business at UCLA and Paul really helped him out back then. So, it was no question for David that he would watch over Paul’s husband when he had to go away on a business trip to Europe and Asia.

 

He and Jared had met at the wedding reception. And David could understand why Paul wants someone to watch out for Jared while he is away. Jared is just so damn shy he probably wouldn’t survive one day out in the real world. So for David it’s a matter of course to help his friend out, after what Paul did for him in college.

 

He also remembers what Paul told him about Jared’s friend; that he isn’t good for Jared. So he rushes out of his office on the second floor of the main house and runs downstairs to the reception desk. Alona is scribbling a note on a piece of paper and doesn’t notice him until he is directly in front of her.

 

“Jeez, Dave, you scared me!”

 

He grabs her arm and holds out the paper for her to see. “When did he book the room and why wasn’t I informed?”

 

“Dave, you’re hurting me,” Alona says forcefully and pulls her arm out of his grasp. She rubs over the spot where he left fingerprints on her skin. “Damn, what’s wrong with you?”

 

The anger in her voice makes him back off. David knows he’s a big guy and Alona is a lot smaller than him. It isn’t her fault. Not really.

 

“I’m sorry, Al. I just really need to know when he booked the stay.”

 

Alona sighs annoyed, but looks it up in the computer. “Hmm, he called two days ago. He was lucky. We only had the free cabin because there was a cancellation. I put the reservation paper on your desk yesterday.”

 

David sighs. He wants to hit something, anything. He knows this won’t end well. Nodding at Alona he walks out the back door without another word. It doesn’t take him long until he’s at his destination and he doesn’t bother to knock. He pushes the door open and finds Jared hunched over some paper drawing. The kid’s head jerks up and he looks at David with big, fearful eyes.

 

David slams the document down on the table Jared is sitting at. “Did you know that? Did you know he booked a cabin here?”

 

It takes a moment before Jared looks down at the paper and then shakes his head. “Chad? He’s coming here?”

 

“Yeah. So, did you know?” David knows he’s almost yelling and Jared makes himself smaller in front of him and shakes his head desperately.

 

“No,” he answers quietly. “No, I didn’t know.”

 

“Well, you will tell him that he has to leave when he gets here today. Paul told me he isn’t good for you and he will have my ass if anything happens to you.” Jared still has his head bowed and isn’t looking at David. “You got it?” he asks loudly.

 

Jared nods miserably. “Yeah, yeah I got it.”

 

“Good. I’ll see you at dinner.” David walks out of the cabin. Maybe this won’t be a problem much longer. He’ll just hold off his call to Paul until Chad is gone again and he won’t have to tell him that Chad booked a stay at the ranch.

 

He looks to his right and notices a man standing on the terrace of the cabin next to Jared’s. The man is wearing jeans and a dark shirt. He has dark blond hair and is looking directly at David. For some reason this makes David really uncomfortable because Jeff will have his ass if he disturbed the other guests while talking to Jared. He gives the man a short little wave but doesn’t wait for a return before walking back to the main house.

 

 

  
  
 

  
Jensen watches the tall guy with the broad shoulders leave and wonders what the hell that was about. He didn’t really understand what was being yelled, but he had the feeling that it can’t be good. As far as Jensen knows Jared didn’t yell back. There had been only one voice doing the yelling and Jensen asks himself if Jared had just been calm enough to avoid yelling or if he was too scared to yell back. He guesses it’s the latter.

 

Chris yells that the shower is free and Jensen pushes away from the balustrade. A shower definitely sounds great. He strips out of his clothes and tucks a towel around his hips before making his way to the bathroom.

 

He hopes that Chris left him some hot water; otherwise he’ll have to kick some ass. Jensen gets into the shower stall turning on the water and waiting for it to turn hot. When the hot water rains down on him he groans contentedly. Slowly the water massages the kinks the flight and the long drive left in Jensen’s back and he’s feeling more human again.

 

Once again he starts thinking about Jared. What is it about this guy that keeps piquing his interest? Jensen’s not a monk or anything; he had his fair share of boyfriends and friends-with-benefits. But there is something about Jared that catches his attention. Besides Jared is beautiful. It was something in his eyes. There was sadness, but also something else. Fear maybe, or shock. Jensen really wants to know what happened that Jared’s so damn shy.

 

When the water turns cold, Jensen climbs out of the shower. He shaves and brushes his teeth before walking over to his room and grabbing fresh clothes, jeans again and a light, green t-shirt. Once he’s dressed he walks back out on the terrace and finds Chris sitting there with a beer in his hand. His friend tells him he can find the beer in the fridge. He grabs one and finally sits down next to Chris on the deck.

 

There is nothing but silence out here and Jensen remembers fishing trips with his dad and Josh when the only thing you could hear was the chirps of the crickets. He likes it. It’s soothing. Jensen knows what’s waiting for him back in LA, but maybe he can forget about it for the time being and enjoy his stay at the ranch.

 

 

  
  
 

  
After David leaves Jared is alone again. The young man takes his drawing and walks over to the couch. He sinks into the cushions and thinks about what just happened. Chad is coming. His best and only friend is coming here. He can’t for the life of him imagine what he did to deserve a friend like Chad.

 

Jared is nothing. He can’t do anything right and is clumsy. He can’t even form a full sentence when he meets new people. Chad however, is beautiful and eloquent and currently studying to be a journalist. The other man knows exactly what he wants and how to get it.

 

Jared didn’t even make it to college. Paul would have never agreed for Jared to go to college. His husband thinks it would have been a complete waste of time for Jared since he stays home and keeps the household running. Jared didn’t even apply to any colleges because he was scared they would reject him. He’d love to study art, maybe even art history, but he also knows he’s too stupid to go to college. Paul and Gerry said it to him more than once.

 

Paul will probably be very angry with Jared when he calls tomorrow. They may not have cell phone reception at the ranch, but each cabin has a landline phone. Shortly before Jared boarded the plane in LA Paul told him that he expects Jared to be in his cabin around noon every day so he can call and talk to Jared. Today’s call mostly consisted of Paul telling him to be good. But if Jared can’t get Chad to leave, tomorrow’s call will be much worse.

 

Tears burn behind his eyes and when they fall they drop onto the drawing he’s still holding in his hands. It shows one of the guys that had walked with Alona when he had seen her earlier. It’s the one with the deep, green eyes that shimmered like a mountain lake and the spiky dark, blond hair. The guy is gorgeous, with his full lips, high cheek bones and freckles.

 

And he’s probably here with his boyfriend, the smaller one with long brown hair. Jared doesn’t even know why he drew the guy with the deep, green eyes. It’s just that he couldn’t get him out of his head and drawing is the way Jared deals with things. It’s always been like that. Something attracted his attention and he drew it.

 

Drawing is the only thing he feels comfortable with even though his dad and Paul always tell him that he is no good. Drawing is the one thing that keeps Jared going. He loves when his pencil scratches over the paper and the lines develop into forms. Even though he knows he’s no good he still likes to express himself this way. He would never actually show his art to anybody, but for Jared it’s his safe haven to escape the real world.

 

 

  
  
 

  
Chad arrives at the ranch shortly before dinner time and he knows without a doubt that they wouldn’t roll out a red carpet to welcome him. He still remembers the phone call he has gotten from Jared three days ago. His best friend sounded so scared when he told Chad about Paul sending him away. That’s why Chad is here know, he’ll make sure that Jared can enjoy his time away from his husband, at least a little.

 

Jared also told him that David, one of Paul’s friends worked at the ranch and Chad is sure that it’s one of the reasons Paul sent Jared here. Now, he has someone who can report back to him what Jared’s up to and keep an eye on him. Anger boils in his belly when he just thinks about it.

 

He just really hopes that David hasn’t intimidated Jared enough, so that they will allow him to stay. Chad knows that Paul would throw a screaming fit if he knew that he was about to keep Paul’s little ‘boy toy’ - as he has heard Jared cruelly been referred to and who happens to be his best friend - company. He’s just glad that Paul’s in Europe. There’s not much he can do from over there.

 

If it had been up to Chad, both Paul and Gerry would have gotten a serious ass kicking years ago. He’s still not sure what went down exactly at the Padalecki household in all those years, but he knows that it must have been bad. He knows that his best friend is, at best, a shadow from the man he could have been.

 

Jared is kind and loyal, loving of all creatures. He would never hurt anybody or anything. He’s an amazing artist who happens to be able putting so much life in his drawings that you think they’re real. Chad believes in Jared and he’s the only one. Not even Jared believes in himself and it breaks Chad’s heart a little more every time he sees his friend talking himself down.

 

He stops his rental next to a black SUV at the back of the ranch’s main house and grabs his duffle bag. Chad’s prepared to fight for his stay. He’s just not sure what horror stories Paul told the manager of the ranch to keep him away. The young man takes a deep breath, runs a hand through his short blond hair and makes his way over to the entrance.

 

The light is turned on in the lobby and he sees a blond girl standing behind the reception desk. She’s talking to a guy in khaki pants, a light blue shirt and dark hair. The girl grins and laughs at something the guy says. That’s when she seems to notice him standing there with his duffel over his shoulder. Her grin turns into a polite smile.

 

“Hello, welcome at Hide Ranch. I’m guessing you’re Chad Murray.” Chad walks over to her and shakes her hand. “I’m Alona and that’s,” she points at the guy she had talked to only seconds ago, “Misha. He’s responsible for our yoga lessons.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Alona.” He winks at her grinning. Her smile stays polite.

 

Misha snorts and watches Chad with raised eyebrows. Chad holds his gaze unimpressed and Misha gives him a short grin. “So, what brings you to Hide Ranch, Chad?”

 

Chad contemplates avoiding the question for a second. But something about Misha tells him that he’s more likely to support Chad when he tells the truth.

 

“I’m a friend of Jared Johansson. I thought I’d keep him company for the time being.”

 

Alona’s face lights up when he mentions Jared and Misha gives him an appreciated look.

 

“Wow, that’s great. I guess Jared will be thrilled to see you,” Alona says happily.

 

Chad hopes so. But he also knows that Jared will probably not show it.

 

“That’s a really good idea.” Misha nods. “I think he can use a friend right now. Has he always been this shy?”

 

Chad rubs a hand over his face. “Unfortunately, yes. Took me two months to get him to talk to me back in high school. Been best friends ever since.”

 

Misha smiles and claps Chad’s shoulder. “I like you. I really hope you can get Jared to enjoy his stay here. I’ll see you at diner, Al. You too, Chad.”

 

Misha leaves. Chad turns back to Alona, shooting her another grin. “Nice guy.”

 

Alona nods. “He is and I totally agree with him. I’m glad Jared has someone to keep him company for the next weeks.” She gives him a genuine smile, before pushing a piece of paper towards him. “You have to sign here for your stay. You’re staying at cabin number seven, right at the lake. I’ll show you in a second.”

 

“That won’t be necessary, Al. Mr. Murray is not staying. Isn’t that right, Mr. Murray?”

 

Chad turns to see a dark haired guy with broad shoulders standing behind him. The guy’s also a few inches bigger than Chad is. Chad never met David, but he knows without a doubt that this is him. He already expected David’s appearance. He knew that David would be lurking around here somewhere spying for Paul. Chad would have been more shocked if David hadn’t appeared to kick him out.

 

So he smiles real nice. “Oh, I don’t think so. I booked a cabin and I’m staying. But thanks for the concern, pal.” He turns back to Alona and signs the reservation papers on the dotted line.

 

“What are you talking about, David?” Alona asks confused. “Chad only got here. Why wouldn’t he stay? He’s here to keep Jared company.”

 

“I know,” David bristles with anger and Chad only waits for the man to punch him.

 

“Chad?” A soft voice echoes through the lobby and Chad turns to see his best friend standing at the back door. His shoulders are hunched forward and his long, dark hair is falling into his face. Sometimes Chad wishes there was a way he could just pour some self-esteem into Jared.

 

“Jaybird, you happy to see me?” He walks over and pulls Jared into a short hug. The other man gives him a short, but genuine smile and nods. Chad pulls his head down to ruffle through his long hair. “You didn’t think I would leave you here alone, did you?”

 

Jared shrugs and pulls away from the embrace. During their short hug David made his way over to them. Alona is watching them with curious and concerned eyes from behind the reception desk. ‘Here we go’, Chad thinks.

 

David lays a hand on Jared’s shoulders and the young man shrinks under the hold. If Jared would stand tall, he would top David by at least four inches. Instead, he tends to shrink in on himself so that he’s always smaller than the other man. Chad sighs. He really wants to punch David’s hand off Jared’s shoulder.

 

“Jared, you know what we talked about earlier. Don’t you want to tell Chad?” His voice is soft, but Chad hears the threat that lies in the words nonetheless.

 

Jared blushes. He looks miserably at Chad, who knows exactly what comes next.

 

“Is there a problem here, Dave?”

 

Another man makes his way over. He’s older than David and one or two inches taller. He’s wearing dark jeans and a lumberjack shirt. His chin is scruffy but he looks at them with soft and wise eyes.

 

“No Jeff,” David shakes his head quickly. “Not at all.”

 

Chad clears his throat. “Yeah, I think there is. This guy here told me I couldn’t stay here, even though I’ve booked a cabin two days ago. The young lady over there was about to hand me the keys when this guy showed up and told me that I couldn’t stay here.”

 

Jeff raises his eyebrows. “Is that true, David?”

 

“Well,” David starts to defend himself and Chad is really curious what his excuse will be, “Paul, Jared’s husband asked me to keep an eye on him while he’s staying here. He also stated that Mr. Murray,” he points at Chad, “isn’t good for him. So, that’s what I’m doing, keeping an eye on my friend’s husband.”

 

Chad snorts. “Why am I not surprised that Paul said that? He’s an asshole and he never liked me being friends with Jared. You’re just stupid enough to believe that I’m the bad guy.”

 

“Chad, please,” Jared pleads quietly and Chad shuts up. He could never say ‘no’ to Jared.

 

David’s face turns red with anger and Chad bites his cheek to keep from grinning. He apparently hit a nerve.

 

Jeff lays a hand on David’s shoulder and frowns. He looks at Chad, then at Jared and then back to David. “Maybe we’ll ask Jared, then. What do you think, son? You want your friend to stay?”

 

Jared’s head snaps up and he looks like his puppy just died. He’s rocking back and forth on his heels and Chad knows that he’s looking for some kind of escape.

 

“Just tell them, Jared. It’s okay,” he encourages his best friend to at least say something.

 

“Paul wouldn’t like it,” he barely whispers, biting his bottom lip.

 

Jeff’s look softens and he squeezes Jared’s shoulder. “That’s not what I asked. I wanted to know your opinion and if you want your friend to stay, son.”

 

The short nod of Jared’s head is barely there and Chad only sees it because he’s watching Jared so intently.

 

“I want him to stay.” Jared looks nervously at David, who’s already fuming.

 

“Jared, I don’t think…” David starts.

 

“God, Dave,” Alona says annoyed. “Just let it go. I don’t even know why you’re making such a big deal out of it. He’s Jared’s friend and Jared obviously wants him to stay.”

 

David huffs and Chad notices Jeff giving him a stern look that shuts the other man up immediately.

 

“Well, then I guess that’s dealt with.” Jeff smiles at everyone else. “Welcome to Hide Ranch, Mr. Murray.”

 

“Call me Chad.”

 

Jeff nods. “Chad, then. We’ll have dinner in ten.” He walks away, gesturing for Alona to show Chad to his cabin and David to follow him.

 

David stomps after Jeff leaving a scared Jared and a grinning Chad to follow Alona out of the main house. One battle won. The war, however, is still going on.

 

 

  
  
 

  
Jeff closes the door to his office behind David and turns, looking at David with a stern look. “What the hell was that about? Since when are we telling guests who booked cabins that they can’t stay here?”

 

“I’m just helping out my friend. Paul asked me to keep an eye on Jared, because he’s so damn shy and not used to be around so many people and that’s what I’m doing,” David justifies.

 

“Well,” Jeff takes a deep breath. “I don’t care what Paul asked you to do. You still work for me, remember?” He sighs exaggerated. “You don’t get to kick people out who booked a cabin. If you keep up this attitude I’m afraid I won’t need you here anymore.”

 

David’s heart sinks. “But…”

 

“There is no excuse,” Jeff says sternly. “Something like this happens again and you’ll get fired. You get it?”

 

David grits his teeth and nods. “Yeah sure.”

 

 

  
  
 

  
When David gets to his office a little later he sits down at his desk and grabs the phone. He needs to talk to Paul. David made a promise and he intends to keep it. Paul is pretty much responsible for where David is right now after all.

 

“What, David? We already talked today. I don’t have time for this crap.” Paul’s pissed off voice echoes through the phone.

 

“I’m sorry, Paul. But this is important,” David rushes to say.

 

“What can be so important to be pulled out of my sleep at five in the morning?” Paul yells.

 

“Chad Murray just arrived.” David knows he’s almost whispering, but somehow he hopes that it will help calm Paul down. He’s wrong.

 

“WHAT?” David winces at Paul’s screams. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. Maybe it would have been better to deal with it alone or not deal with it at all and just not tell Paul. “That little fucker.” Paul’s voice is calmer. “I’m gonna kick his ass when I get back to LA.”

 

“I don’t think Jared knew.”

 

“I’m not talking about Jared, idiot,” Paul hisses. “My husband is too dumb to have planned something like this.”

 

David feels really uncomfortable about the way Paul is talking about his husband. But he’s clever enough to keep his mouth shut this time. Besides, Paul’s probably just talking like this because he’s angry. At the wedding he seemed completely in love with Jared.

 

“What do you plan on doing to get Murray to leave?” Paul asks.

 

This is a dangerous question. If he tells Paul that he asked Jared to get Chad to leave, the older man will know that David knew about Chad’s arrival beforehand and David will so get his ass kicked.

 

“I’m not sure what I can do. He booked a cabin,” David explains quickly. “Besides, I already asked him to leave and my boss threatened my job for being unprofessionally. If I lose my job I won’t be able to keep an eye on Jared for you anymore.”

 

Paul sighs annoyed. “Great. So, there is nothing you can do?” Before David can answer, Paul continues, “Fine. I’ll talk to Jared. Make sure he understands that I’m not happy with Chad staying at the ranch. And you keep your eyes on them for the time being.”

 

The line is disconnected before David can say goodbye. He runs a hand through his dark hair. This is going to get ugly. He knows it.

 

 

  
  
 

  
Jensen and Chris walk into the large room where breakfast, lunch and dinner at the ranch will be served. Right now there is a large table in the middle of the room and people are sitting or standing around it chatting and laughing. It is a relaxed atmosphere and Jensen understands what Alona meant about being a big family.

 

Jensen’s gaze falls on Jared. The young man is standing in one of the corners of the room talking quietly to a blond guy Jensen doesn’t know. What surprises Jensen the most is that Jared seems comfortable talking to the guy. His posture is relaxed and if Jensen isn’t mistaken Jared is even smiling a bit.

 

Jared seems to feel Jensen’s gaze on him and when he turns around, their eyes meet for a fraction of a second before Jared blushes and looks at his feet. His long, dark bangs fall into his eyes and Jensen has never wanted anything more than to push them away and see Jared’s beautiful eyes. He wonders for a second if Jared’s hair feel as soft as it looks.

 

The guy who Jared’s talking to follows the look and when he sees Jensen looking at them he frowns. Jensen wonders what this might be about, but before he can go over and introduce himself, Chris pulls him towards two other guys who are talking animatedly to each other.

 

Jensen learns that the smaller one with long, sandy-blond hair is Steve. He’s a musician working on songs for his new album. The other guy, with dark brown hair, is a little taller, but not as tall as Jensen. His name is Milo and he works at the ranch. He’s mostly responsible for the outdoor activities: fishing, horseback riding and hiking.

 

They both seem nice and soon Chris and Steve are engaged in a heated discussion about southern rock. Jensen smiles a little to himself when he watches them. That is the right topic to get Chris engaged. There are also sparks flying already between these two and Jensen and Milo excuse themselves to find their seats.

 

Jared sits at the other end of the table. His eyes are glued to his plate, but the blond guy next to Jared catches Jensen again when he’s looking over to them. It’s a little embarrassing, Jensen thinks. Milo seems to pick up on Jensen’s looks and he grins.

 

“He’s hot, right?”

 

Jensen snaps out of his thoughts. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Milo snorts. “Yeah, right. That’s why you keep looking over there with this dreamy look on your face. Besides, I would totally hit that, with those eyes and I bet he hides an amazing body beneath his clothes.”

 

Jealousy starts boiling in Jensen’s belly at Milo’s words and he’s not even sure where that comes from. He snaps, “I bet Jared just wants to be left alone, without people talking about and hitting on him like that.”

 

Milo grins and holds up his hands in defense. “Dude, relax. I didn’t mean it like that; just that I think he’s cute.” He turns serious all of a sudden. “To me it seems a lot like he could use a friend and someone to talk to.”

 

Jensen shoots another look at Jared and maybe Milo isn’t the superficial asshole he pegged him as when he listened to him talk only seconds ago. He might even be right about Jared needing a friend.

 

An older couple walks into the room and Jensen turns his gaze away from Jared. They’re followed by the guy Jensen saw coming out of Jared’s cabin earlier in the day. They introduce themselves as Jeff and Sam Morgan. The other guy is David the guest manager and he looks as if someone had pissed in his panties. Jensen is not sure what his problem is but his instinct tells him that this guy means trouble.

 

They also introduce Alona again and a guy who’s leaning relaxed against the back of his chair. His name is Misha and he’s doing the yoga classes they are offering.

 

Then Jeff asks the people around the table to introduce themselves shortly and Jensen sees how Jared’s shoulders hunch even more. He feels really bad for the man, because if he’s really so shy, speaking in front of all people must be hell for him.

 

The brunette next to Jensen is first. Her name is Sophia. She’s pretty, with long, dark brown hair, brown eyes and pretty lips. She tells them that her fiancé cheated on her and since she’s running a multi-million dollar fashion company, she needed to get away from all the gossip and this was the best her assistant could come up with. Sophia doesn’t sound very happy to be here.

 

Tom and Mike are next. They look completely different, Mike is bald, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and Tom has short dark hair, he’s wearing a black dress shirt. Mike is also relaxed, enthusiastic and openly smiling while he introduces them. Tom is not. He looks tense and serious the whole time. If it weren’t for their entwined hands Jensen would never have thought that these two are a couple.

 

Jared and the guy next to him are next. It turns out that blond guy is Jared’s best friend and here to keep him company. His name is Chad and he’s smiling openly around the table and seems nice. Jared however, barely gets his name out. He stutters a little and his cheeks turn bright red. Jensen feels really bad for him and he wishes he could do something to take away Jared’s shyness, even though he’s not sure what to do.

 

Chris and Steve introduce themselves shortly and then it’s Jensen’s turn. He tells them his name and adds a little about how he and Chris are best friends and that they’re looking forward to relaxing in the next few weeks. He looks around the table and thinks that all of the people sitting here and enjoying Sam’s fabulous fried chicken with potatoes and vegetables seem nice enough to spend the next weeks with them.

 

Suddenly Jensen feels eyes on him and when he looks into the direction he catches Jared watching him. The young man blushes instantly and looks back down on his plate. It’s one of the cutest things Jensen has even seen and he can’t help but grin.

 

  
  
 

After dinner they all sit together for a while, chatting and getting to know each other. Milo and Misha dive into some funny stories that happened at the ranch over the years and soon Jensen is wiping his eyes and holding his side, because he’s laughing so hard. He decides that he likes it here. The people he’s spending his forced vacation with all seem nice and funny. It’s been some time since he relaxed like this and he’s sure it’ll do him good.

 

Steve is a pretty great guy, too, especially when he gets out his guitar and starts singing. His voice is soft and warm and Jensen relaxes into the cushions of the couch. He watches Chris almost getting a hard-on, because Steve is really good. Chris deserves to get laid. As far as Jensen knows Chris hasn’t had anything going on since he broke up with Riley a little over six months ago. They had been together for two years and it had been pretty hard on Chris, even though he and Riley admitted that it was for the best because they were drifting apart. So, yeah, Chris deserves to get laid and maybe even more.

 

Mike joins them, but Tom is gone. According to Mike he still has some work to do and Jensen guesses Mike doesn’t like that at all, looking all sour and pissed. Jared’s gone too. Chad is sitting next to Sophia though. When Jensen asks where Jared went and why he didn’t join them, Chad gives him an unreadable look before saying that Jared doesn’t like to be around too many people at the same time. Jensen assumed something like that.

 

They’re having a really nice evening getting to know each other, sharing a few beers and just relaxing. When Jensen decides to head back to the cabin, Chris is talking to Steve. Jensen says good night and walks down the gravelly path towards his cabin.

 

The moonlight is bright enough to see where he’s going and he is awed by the picture the mountains and the moon conjure on the smooth water of the lake. That’s when he sees a dark figure sitting at the shore and when Jensen gets closer he can see that it’s Jared sitting there, just watching the moonlight shimmer on the dark lake.

 

Jensen walks down to the lake and tries to make enough noise so he doesn’t scare Jared. Even though he’s pretty sure that the guy will be scared no matter what. Jared looks up when Jensen comes to a halt next to him. He looks a little spooked.

 

“Can I?” Jensen gestures at the free space next to Jared. The young man nods hesitantly and Jensen drops down next to him. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Jared nods again, but doesn’t say anything. He makes himself smaller by drawing up his legs and putting his arms around them. “I’m Jensen, by the way.” Jensen holds out his hand.

 

It takes a few seconds, but then Jared shakes it. His hand is warm and even bigger than Jensen’s. “J-jared.” He stutters a little, but Jensen is happy that he’s saying anything at all. Then he pulls his hand back and Jensen instantly misses the physical contact.

 

He watches Jared turn back towards the lake and use the opportunity to look at the younger man. Moonlight paints Jared’s skin white and it looks fragile. The long, dark hair frames his face and he looks so beautiful that it almost takes Jensen’s breath away. He has to look away to refrain from doing something stupid and maybe kiss Jared. That’s when he sees something reflecting the moonlight at Jared’s hand. It’s a ring, a wedding ring, a thin platinum band that’s decorating Jared’s ring finger.

 

Jensen gasps. He’s married? Jared is married? Jensen wonders why he didn’t notice it before. It might be because he was entranced with Jared’s face.

 

“Where is your husband?” Jared spins around to face him. There is something in his look that Jensen can’t interpret, but he doesn’t answer. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer. It’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have asked.”

 

They sit in awkward silence for a few minutes before Jared whispers, “Europe.”

 

“What?” Jensen asks surprised.

 

“My husband.” Jared’s voice is quiet, barely audible.

 

Jensen nods. “Oh, your husband is in Europe?” Jared nods, but he doesn’t meet Jensen’s eyes. He’s still looking out on the lake. “What’s he doing there? Business?” Jared nods again. Something like fear flashes through his eyes and Jared looks down hiding behind his bangs. And Jensen lets it go, because he’s sure he won’t get anything more out of Jared tonight. It still hits a nerve that Jared seems to be uncomfortable talking about his husband or maybe it’s just because he doesn’t know Jensen.

 

He shoots another look at the ring, just to remind himself that Jared is married and therefore not on the market for Jensen. The fierce disappointment that hits him, surprises him.

 

The following silence is less awkward and they sit for quite some time just looking out on the lake. It gets more and more comfortable and Jensen wonders when anything like this felt so right. The last time he remembers was when he went fishing with his dad and Josh.

 

When his ass starts to get numb, Jensen gets up. He doesn’t want to leave Jared alone, but he knows that he has to eventually. Jared looks up at him and Jensen gives him a wide smile.

 

“It was really nice talking to you, Jay.” Jensen means it. They only shared a few words, but somehow Jensen is sure that Jared doesn’t talk to everybody. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep tight.” And then he makes his way over to his cabin to get some sleep.

 

 

  
  
 

  
Jensen has been gone for some minutes now, but Jared can still feel his body heat next to him. He still hears the soft, deep voice in his ears. And remembers exactly how his nickname sounded when it rolled off Jensen’s tongue. It’s a nice nickname, nothing like ‘pet’ or ‘kitten’ or ‘bastard’ or any of the other things Paul or Gerry call him. A small smile forms on Jared’s face. Jensen is the only one to ever call him ‘Jay’ and Jared likes it, likes that Jensen called him that.

 

He knows that Jensen watched him before and through dinner. At first it made him really uncomfortable. But now, after sitting here and sharing the picture the moonlight makes on the smooth surface of the lake in comfortable silence, it’s different. Jensen didn’t look at him with pity in his eyes when Jared barely got his name out or when he needed time to even decide to tell Jensen where Paul is. Jensen just sat next to Jared and gave him the time he needed.

 

When he told Jared that he enjoyed talking to him, he sounded serious and genuine. He sounded as if he really meant it and Jared wants to believe it. It feels good and Jared likes Jensen. Everybody else, including Chad, would have tried to get him to talk which would have only made him stutter more. But Jensen just sat with him, no pressure.

 

A sudden realization hits Jared. He could really like it here. Paul may have sent him here to keep him away and under control, but if Jared is honest, this place isn’t so bad. There are a lot of worse places Paul could have sent him to. Chad is here – Jared is really happy about that – and he already likes Alona, Jeff and Sam and the other guests seem nice, too. Then there is Jensen. He looks to where Jensen disappeared into his cabin and the small smile on his face grows wider. There is something about Jensen that touches Jared deep down and makes warmth spread in his body.

 

It’s been years since Jared hoped for something better, but right now he does. He hopes for a better future.

 

 

  



	3. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 2/9+Epilogue

 

  
  
 

  


Jared likes swimming; he always did. It’s just something he hasn’t done in quite a while. Paul may own a big mansion in the Hollywood Hills but they don’t have a pool, which is fairly uncommon for LA. It may have something to do with Paul hating swimming, or even sunbathing for that matter. He’s not the kind of guy to lie down and enjoy the sun or the cooling waters of the ocean or a pool. He would never allow Jared to use the public pool, though, just because he knows that it’s something Jared enjoys.

  


So it’s been quite some time since Jared could enjoy taking a swim. When he first got here he decided to take advantage of that and take a swim every morning. It’s early morning and the sun is just making its way up the horizon, painting the mountains, trees and the lake in soft and warm orange light.

  


Jared walks down the path toward his favorite spot at the lake. There is still a light chill in the air but Jared is sure it will heat up. He remembers how he and Jensen had sat together for some time last night and a smile forms on his face. He doesn’t know what it is about the other man that makes him want to smile constantly. It’s a completely new feeling. He can’t remember ever smiling like this, not even when he’s with Chad.

  


When Jared gets to the shore of the lake he sees that there is a towel already draped over the stump where he and Jensen met yesterday. A figure is crossing the lake with long, languid strokes and Jared contemplates going back to his cabin. He doesn’t want to disturb the person or be seen in nothing but a Speedo when he loses his shorts and t-shirt. Just the thought makes him blush. He knows he isn’t good looking and he just doesn’t want anyone looking at him while only wearing a Speedo.

  


The person makes their way over to the shore and Jared knows he’s spotted. He tightens his arms around the towel he has clutched in front of his chest protectively. His heart is beating frantically in his chest. When the person gets closer and Jared realizes that it is Jensen he’s been watching, it speeds up even more, practically threatening to jump out of his chest. The older man grins at him and waves. A shiver runs down Jared’s spine and he waves back hesitantly.

  


When Jensen finally finds solid ground under his feet and stands up, Jared has to look away. The way water runs down Jensen’s hard and muscular chest is just too damn distracting and Jared can feel his dick harden. His cheeks heat up and he prays that Jensen won’t realize what effect he has on Jared.

  


Jensen makes his way out of the lake in board shorts and Jared watches Jensen’s well defined abs and pecs move under smooth skin. Right now he’s grateful for his long hair, because he hopes that Jensen won’t notice him looking. He’s so damn nervous.

  


“Hey, Jay. Here for a swim?”

  


Jensen sounds so damn relaxed and open. How can he just talk to Jared like this? Jensen grabs his towel and dries off. He seems to wait for an answer. Jared shrugs. He’s still contemplating running back to his cabin.

  


“The water is great, you should try it.”

  


Jared looks around, searching for an excuse not to have to lose his clothes while Jensen is still so close. He’s still hard beneath the fabric of his trunks and he knows that Jensen will see that as soon as Jared steps out of his shorts. It’s embarrassing, really.

  


“Look, Jay,” Jensen says softly. “I’m finished here.” He puts his towel around his neck. His hair is still wet and drops fall into his face and Jared wants to run his hands through the mess of spiky hair. “If you wanna take a swim, take a swim. If you don’t, then don’t. But don’t let somebody keep you from doing what you want to do.”

  


Jensen is smiling softly and starts to make his way up to his cabin. Jared is at a loss of words and lets him go without even saying ‘goodbye’ or ‘see you later’. He just watches Jensen walking back to his cabin and enjoys how Jensen’s skin glistens under the sun. He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t. He just can’t help himself.

  


When the cabin door finally closes behind the older man, Jared steps out of his clothes and runs into the lake. The water is quite cold, but it helps with his little problem like nothing else could.

  
  
 

  


Standing at the large panorama window in the cabin, Jensen cradles his hands around his coffee mug. It’s still damn early, and breakfast will be served in half an hour. Normally he isn’t the early bird. Jensen likes his sleep and stays his bed for as long as possible. But he couldn’t sleep last night, probably a combination of a new surrounding, the Coltrano-thing and Jared, the enigma.

  


He hadn’t expected to meet Jared this morning at the lake, but it was nice, even if the younger man hadn’t said a word. Jared had looked a little spooked, ready to flee, when he saw that Jensen was already taking a swim. Jensen thought of it as a win that he hadn’t run. He really wants to know why Jared’s so damn shy.

  


Right now he’s watching Jared’s arms cut through the water. His strokes are long and strong and Jensen wishes for binoculars to see how Jared’s muscles flex beneath his skin. What Jensen wouldn’t have given to see what Jared was hiding beneath the large t-shirt and shorts.

  


“Mornin’, you’re up early.”

  


Jensen turns around to see Chris yawing and stumbling towards the coffeemaker. He turns back to the window and Jared’s small form in the lake and shrugs.

  


“Couldn’t sleep.”

  


After Chris pours himself a cup of coffee he joins Jensen at the window. “What are we looking at?”

  


“Jared.” Jensen blows on his coffee before taking a sip.

  


“The guy from the cabin on the right?”

  


Jensen nods but stays silent. He’s still waiting for Jared to come out of the lake and maybe getting a glimpse of what the younger man was hiding beneath his clothes so thoroughly.

  


“He acts a lot like a deer caught in the headlights.”

  


“He’s just shy,” Jensen defends the younger man.

  


“Oh yeah?” Chris asks amused. “How do you know?”

  


“I met him at the lake last night.”

  


“So, you gonna use the time being for a little one-on-one action or what?” Chris asks teasing.

  


Jensen scoffs and takes another sip of his coffee. “He’s married.”

  


Chris gasps. “What? Really? Wow, he’s pretty young to be married already. I never even noticed the ring.”

  


Jensen nods. “Me neither. I only noticed it last night. Jared says his husband is in Europe right now.”

  


Right that second Jared makes his way out of the water towards his towel and Jensen feels his mouth go dry. The young man is only wearing Speedos and even from the distance Jensen can see that Jared has a great body, broad chest, slim hips, muscular chest and legs.

  


“Wow,” Chris says impressed. “Damn. If I were the husband, I sure as hell would have taken something like him with me.”

  


Jensen doesn’t answer, but it is exactly what he thinks. Why exactly is Jared here at Hide Ranch when his husband is on a business trip to Europe?

  
  
 

  


Misha makes his way into the dining area to promote his daily yoga lessons. He knows that Sophia will participate since it’s a well known fact she uses it to relax, at least that’s what the tabloids say, but he hopes to get some of the other guests to join them, too.

  


It’s Misha’s third year at Hide. He came here to get a little distance after his last relationship went downhill. Nothing dramatic, just the normal we’ve-been-growing-apart-thing, but it still hurt and he needed a little time away. He came here and he never left again, finding a new family in Jeff, Sam, Alona, Milo and David. He had been a yoga instructor in New York and now he used his skills to help the guests to find a little peace in themselves again.

  


He looks around and sees that Milo is already talking to Jared and Chad. He’s leaning a little close to Jared and the young man doesn’t really seem to enjoy the closeness. Chad seems to think the same, judging by the way he scowls at the oblivious Milo.

  


That’s just Milo, though. He likes to keep it close to the guest, always touching and invading their space, but at the end of the day he is harmless. However, neither Jared nor Chad knows that. Misha makes his way over their table first.

  


“Good morning, gentlemen.”

  


Milo turns around and rolls his eyes at Misha. “I was just telling Jared and Chad about the horses.”

  


Misha nods. “Yeah, our horses are great.” Chad looks at him with wary eyes and Jared is still keeping his eyes on his plate. “You should go for a ride sometime.”

  


Chad huffs, “Yeah maybe.”

  


“Well, think about it. You know where to find me.” Milo says. Before he walks away though, he brushes his fingers over Jared’s shoulders and the young man winces under the touch. Misha would really like to know what the deal with Jared is.

  


“If you don’t like horseback riding you should totally join our yoga lessons,” Misha offers and hopes that Jared maybe will find the courage to join them.

  


Chad rolls his eyes. “Dude yoga, really? Isn’t for girls and wussies?”

  


Misha grins smugly. If Chad only knew to what heights yoga can take you. “It can be really relaxing.” Chad huffs a laugh. “You think about it, okay?”

  


He walks away to the next tables but keeps an eye on Jared the whole time. The young man doesn’t make eye contact often, even with his friend Chad he mostly looks at his plate. But he can see a small, almost invisible smile playing around the edges of Jared’s mouth. It makes Misha smile, too, and warms his heart.

  


Jeff had told all the employees to keep an eye on Jared, since David had mentioned that Chad might not be good for Jared. Jeff just can’t take the chance that it may be true. But from Misha’s point of view he’s exactly what Jared needs. Well, maybe not exactly, because Misha notices the way Jared’s eyes light up when his eyes land on Jensen. Maybe that is what Jared needs.

  
  
 

  


When Alona makes her way over to the stable, she doesn’t expect to find Jared sitting at one of the paddocks. He has his sketchbook open on his knees and seems deep in thought, while his pencil rushes over the paper. Alona smiles at the picture because it’s nice to see Jared completely relaxed. He hasn’t noticed her and she’s glad. Alona knows that as soon as Jared realizes she’s here and watching him he will go back to his shy and skittish behavior.

  


Shadow is out in the paddock and he reminds Alona a lot of Jared, or maybe the other way around. Shadow is shy, skittish, and doesn’t let anyone near him or let alone touch him. Alona’s dad rescued him from another ranch. They used to hit and torment their animals and most of them had to be put down, but Jeff saved Shadow and ever since tried to get the horse to trust someone again. He hasn’t had any luck so far.

  


Alona wonders if it would be the same with Jared or if the young man would finally open up a little and at least talk to people. She hopes so. Alona sighs and walks over to the entrance of the stable where she stumbles over a bucket. It tumbles down with a loud bang and she curses under her breath. There is no way Jared wouldn’t have heard that and when she turns he watches her with a shocked face. ‘Great’, she thinks. But she waves at Jared.

  


“Hi Jared,” she calls over and after a second she gets a small wave back. That’s at least something.

  


She walks inside the stable, checks on the boxes and puts away some stuff Milo left lying around when he took off with Mike and Tom on a trip. Everything looks like it should and when Alona walks back out, Jared has moved. He’s nearer to the back of the paddock where Shadow is currently standing. Alona decides to walk over to them and maybe speak a little with both of them. Jared hunches his shoulders even more when he realizes she’s coming over and Alona contemplates if it was really such a good idea.

  


Alona sits down next to Jared. “I hope you don’t mind.” Jared shakes his head, but stays silent. “So, you like it here, Jared?” Jared nods, but his eyes are glued to Shadow in the back corner of the paddock. “Y’know, I’ve always wanted to go to LA. How is it living in such a big city?”

  


“Loud.” Jared’s voice is barely a whisper. Alona nods. She can imagine. The few times she went to Denver, she always missed the quiet of the ranch.

  


They fall silent for a long time. They just sit there, Jared watching Shadow and Alona watching Jared.

  


“What happened to him?”

  


Alona is stunned when she hears Jared’s voice. It’s the first time he started a conversation since he came to the ranch and it takes her completely by surprise.

  


“Shadow?” Jared nods. “He was abused on a ranch not too far from here. They wanted to put him down, but my dad saved him. He still won’t let anyone really near him, though.”

  


Jared nods and there is something in his eyes that scares Alona. He looks a lot like he knows exactly how Shadow feels. Shortly after Jared says ‘see you’ and rushes down towards his cabin. Alona stays where she is for a long time after Jared left. The haunted look in Jared’s eyes stays with her.

  
  
 

  


Jared just makes it to the cabin in time. He knows that Paul would be seriously pissed if Jared doesn’t answer the phone. It starts ringing only a few seconds after Jared walked inside and he takes a deep breath before he answers.

  


“Hello?”

  


“Hello, Jared.” Paul’s voice is honey sweet and Jared knows that he’s really angry. “I heard from David that Chad is at the ranch. You wanna tell me why that is?”

  


“I… I…,” Jared stutters.

  


“Stop stuttering you worthless little brat,” Paul hisses. “So, wanna start again?”

  


Jared takes another deep breath. “I didn’t know he was coming, Paul. Really, I didn’t know, I swear.”

  


“Really, kitten?” Paul spits out the hated nickname. “Okay, I believe you. Since he’s already there, we can’t do anything about it now, can we?” His voice is calm and quiet and Jared knows it’s just the calm before the storm. “Don’t think that this is over, pet. We’ll… talk about it when we’re back in LA. You know that I don’t like it if something doesn’t go as planned.”

  


Jared swallows hard. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  


“I know you are, pet. Don’t worry about it anymore,” Paul tells him generously. “I’m going to bed now, JT. I’ll dream about you and what we’ll do when we’re together again. Don’t you think about that too, kitten?”

  


Cold sweat breaks out on Jared’s back and he grist out, “Sure.”

  


Paul chuckles. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Enjoy your stay, JT.”

  


The call is disconnected without a goodbye and Jared swallows hard. What Paul just said scares him. He doesn’t want to think about going back to LA and what Paul will do, not when he just started to like it here.

  


He falls back onto his bed and tears start to run down his face. He skims through his sketchbook until he finds the drawing of Jensen. Trying to remember the kind eyes and soft words, Jared trails his fingers over the paper. The way Jensen called him ‘Jay’ makes its way to the front of Jared’s mind and he wishes Jensen would be here, holding him, telling him that it would be okay.

  


Why would he? Jensen is gorgeous and self-confident. What would he want with a worthless being like him? Jared can’t remember ever wanting to be so close to someone as close as he wants to be to Jensen. The feeling is completely new to him and it should probably scare him, but it doesn’t. He knows that he won’t ever have a chance with Jensen, though, and not only for the reason that Jared is married. No, Jensen will never want a worthless, pathetic boy like Jared. He hugs the drawing to his chest because that’s probably the closest he’ll ever get to Jensen.

  


  
  
 

  


Jared doesn’t see Jensen until dinner and then the older man is sitting at the other end of the table, just like yesterday. He’s talking to his friend Chris and Steve. But when he feels Jared’s eyes on him, he turns and sends Jared a bright smile and a small wave. Jared feels his cheeks heat up, but he gives a small smile back.

  


“Who’re waving to?” Chad asks curious.

  


“Jensen,” Jared explains. “We met yesterday at the lake.”

  


Chad nods. “So, you like him?”

  


Jared shrugs because he doesn’t know how to answer that. Yeah, he likes Jensen, in a way he never liked anyone before. But he won’t tell Chad that, not now at the dinner table at least.

  


“It’s okay, Jaybird. You’re allowed to like people.”

  


Is he? If you would ask Paul and Jared’s father, Jared isn’t worth liking or caring for, to them he is worthless and they’d happily tell anyone else so. Jared nods just because it’s an old argument between him and Chad and he doesn’t want to get into it at the dinner table.

  


Sophia makes her way over to them and sits down across from Jared and Chad. “Hi guys,” she smiles and pushes a strand of her hair behind her ear.

  


Chad grins back. “Hey, you had a great day at the lake?”

  


Sophia nods. “Yeah, I really need to work on my tan. You both should join me some time.”

  


Jared feels uncomfortable listening to their flirting and turns away. Suddenly, he feels eyes on him and when he looks up from his plate, he sees Misha watching him with intense eyes. It’s uncomfortable and Jared has the urge to cover himself up. Misha, however, sends him a small smile and turns back to his dinner.

  


“Hey, Jared?” Sophia asks. Jared flinches, but turns looking at her through his bangs. “I saw you with your sketchbook earlier. You like art?”

  


Jared nods. “Y-es,” he stutters and feels like a loon, but Sophia just smiles.

  


“Me too,” she nods. “I own a fashion company, so drawing comes kinda with the job description. What do you draw?”

  


Jared looks around wanting to know if someone is watching them, but they’re all engaged in their own conversations. So, Jared looks back to Sophia and answers quietly, “People… and scenery mostly.”

  


“Yeah? Can I see some of them?” Sophia asks enthusiastically.

  


Jared looks helplessly at Chad and his best friend saves him. “Jared here is not very open about his art. I haven’t seen anything of it and we’ve been best friends since high school,” he explains quietly.

  


At first Sophia looks disappointed, but then she gives Jared another smile. “I understand. I was just the same about my early sketches. But I’d love to see some of your images, so if you ever want to share them you know where to find me.”

  


After they finish their dinner, Milo walks over to them and Jared tries to make himself invisible because this guy makes him really uncomfortable, even reminds him a little of Paul in the beginning, always touching and stroking Jared. Milo is constantly touching Jared too and invading his personal space. Doesn’t he notice how uncomfortable he makes Jared?

  


“Jared, Chad, Sophia. Hey.” Milo’s hand lands on Jared’s shoulder. It just lies there, but it’s enough to make Jared squirm.

  


Chad narrows his eyes and scowls at Milo, but the other man seems completely oblivious. Milo talks about going for a ride tomorrow, but Jared doesn’t really listen. He just prays that the touching will stop. When Milo finally puts the whole arm around his shoulders, Jared shudders and Chad snaps.

  


“Dude! Quit touching my friend. You’re making him uncomfortable and he’s married.”

  


Milo’s eyes widen offended, but he pulls back his arm. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  


“Yeah?” Chad asks angrily. “So, you weren’t hitting on him the whole time?”

  


“What?” Milo says stunned. “No!”

  


“Yeah sure.” Chad pushes Milo away. “Just keep your distance, jerk.”

  


“Chad,” Jared pleads quietly.

  


His friend is still scowling at Milo and the other man looks really miserable when he turns to Jared. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was making you uncomfortable. I really didn’t mean to.”

  


Jared nods and looks down at his feet. “It’s okay. You didn’t realize.”

  


Milo wants to say more but Misha had made his way over to them and is now pushing Milo towards the exit. He’s still looking really miserable and Jared feels bad for him.

  


“I’m sorry about that, but don’t get mad with Milo,” Misha says. “He’s just a really hands-on guy and mostly he never realizes that some people don’t like to be touched. He would never hurt someone or upset them intentionally, though. I swear it was just a misunderstanding.”

  


Chad wants to start another rant, Jared can feel it. So he grabs his friend’s wrist and says, “Please, Chad. Let it go.”

  


Chad sighs, but he nods. “Alright, alright.”

  


“So Jared, I was hoping I would see you at my yoga class today,” Misha says, making it sound like an afterthought. Jared shrugs.

  


“Yeah, Jared you should totally join Misha and me,” Sophia throws in and Jared feels a little trapped.

  


“It’s okay if you don’t want to come though,” Misha reassures him. “I just thought you’d like to learn some things to help you relax. You look like you could use them.” Misha smiles. “But, you know where to find me if you change your mind, right?”

  


Jared nods but doesn’t say anything so Misha walks away leaving Chad, Sophia and Jared alone.

  


“You should really come, Jared,” Sophia says again. “It’s great. How about we both go together tomorrow and if you don’t like it I won’t ever ask you again?”

  


Jared looks at Chad begging for help, but this time it’s seems as if his best friend is agreeing with Sophia. “Yeah, Jaybird, why don’t you go with Sophia? Yoga might do you some good.”

  


Jared sighs, “Okay.”

  


“Great,” Sophia grins and nudges his shoulder. “I promise you won’t regret it.” Jared shrugs because he’s not sure he believes her.

  
  
 

  


It’s shortly after dark that Jensen makes his way to the lake. He watched Jared leaving earlier that night and he also noticed the little argument Chad had with Milo. With a little urging, Chad used the last hour to repeat what happened. Jensen is with Chad on the matter, he really doesn’t like Milo touching Jared, even though the other man claims that it was completely innocent.

  


So now he hopes that he’ll find Jared where he found him yesterday, and maybe he’ll even get a few more words out of him. Jared turns when he hears Jensen’s steps on the gravel and if Jensen is not mistaken he smiles. It’s small, and in the dark barely visible, but he’s smiling and Jensen’s heartbeat speeds up.

  


Jensen sits down next to Jared on the grass, leaning back against the stump. They sit in silence again, just like yesterday. It feels right and comfortable and Jensen enjoys the quiet time.

  


“Where do you live?” Jared’s voice is quiet, but it’s clear.

  


Jensen wants to dance around the lake and hug the trees; that’s how happy Jared’s question makes him. He looks at Jared and gives him a bright smile. “Los Angeles.”

  


“Me too.”

  


“Yeah?” Jared nods. “It seems like most of the people here are from LA. Guess that’s the town most people want to get away from, huh?”

  


A small sound comes from Jared’s mouth and if Jensen is not mistaken the younger man is chuckling. It warms his heart and Jensen laughs softly with Jared.

  


“So what are you doing tomorrow?” Jensen asks curious.

  


Jared shrugs. “I… I don’t know.”

  


“No? Me neither.” Jensen shakes his head. “I went hiking with my friend Chris and Steve, the musician, today. It was nice, but pretty exhausting. Guess I’ll just stay by the lake and enjoy the sun,” he explains.

  


Jared nods and the rest of their time together is spent in silence. However tonight, Jared walks back towards the cabins with Jensen.

  


“So if we don’t see each other tomorrow. You wanna meet at the lake tomorrow night?” Jensen just has to ask because he really likes the time they share at the lake.

  


Jared smiles. It’s getting bigger too and Jensen grins back. Seeing Jared smile like this warms his heart. “I’d like that.” Even his voice gets firmer and Jensen wonders if it’s him or the whole setting at the ranch. They part and Jensen walks over to his cabin with a stupid smile on his face.

  


  
  
 

  


They meet every night from then on at their spot at the lake. They might not see a lot of each other during the day, but they always spend some time at night together. Mostly they sit in silence, but sometimes they talk, mostly about random stuff. Jensen tells Jared about his family and pranks he and MacKenzie pulled on Josh. What he doesn’t tell Jared is that he really misses his family and that it breaks his heart that he can’t talk to them right now. They only know that he’s taking a long vacation with Chris.

  


Jared talks mostly about the ranch and Chad. He doesn’t talk about his marriage and Jensen knows only that his husband’s name is Paul and he’s on a business trip to Europe. But Jensen doesn’t pry. He’s sure that that will take him nowhere with Jared. He’s just glad that Jared talks to him. The rest will hopefully come later. How can he expect Jared to trust him when they only met a few days ago?

  


They never touch when they sit next to each other at the lake and Jensen makes sure to keep his distance. He still remembers clearly how Jared squirmed under Milo’s touch, but it’s okay with Jensen. He doesn’t need to touch Jared to enjoy his company. And he does enjoy it, a lot.

  


Yeah, so the involuntary vacation isn’t so bad anymore.

  
  
 

  


Jared opens the door to his cabin to find Sophia grinning at him. She’s here to get him for their third yoga lesson. Just like Sophia promised Jared really liked it and he really likes Sophia too. She’s open and funny and she doesn’t look at him with pity if he stutters. But mostly she just accepts that Jared isn’t talking at all and she fills the silence talking about her fashion company, her friends in New York and her stupid ex, who cheated on her.

  


She even invites Jared to come visit her in New York, when their vacation will be over. Jared doesn’t tell her that Paul will never allow Jared to fly to New York and visit a friend, but he doesn’t say ‘no’, either. He’d really like to go though. Sophia told him about the Museum of Modern Art and all the great art they’re showing and Jared would love to go there and look at everything.

  


“You ready, Jared?”

  


Jared nods and follows her out the door. Sophia links their arms together and pulls him towards the main house. Misha is already waiting for them and they sit down on soft mattresses. Misha asks them to breathe deeply in and out and then they begin their exercises.

  


An hour later Jared is completely drenched in sweat, but he feels weirdly free and relaxed as if all stress fell off of him. It’s a completely new feeling and it feels good. Sophia is smiling. She’s pulling Jared towards the door, but Misha interrupts them.

  


“Sophia would you mind giving me and Jared a minute?” He asks and Jared tenses. Sophia gives Jared a questioning look, but he nods. He knows if Misha wants to talk with him he will either right now or later.

  


“It’s okay, Sophia,” he says. Sophia nods and leaves.

  


Misha motions for Jared to sit down on the mattresses again and when Jared does Misha takes his place across from him.

  


“I just wanted to talk,” Misha says with a soft voice. “I’ve noticed that you’re pretty tense all the time. I don’t know why and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he explains and Jared shrugs. “But I want you to know that I’m here if you ever want to talk.” Jared nods even though he knows he probably won’t take Misha up on that. “So, I wanted to explain some breathing techniques you could use to relax when you’re not here.”

  


Jared nods skeptically but Misha manages to show him how to use his breathing to calm himself down and to be less nervous.

  


They practice another half an hour and when Jared looks at his watch it’s shortly after noon. His eyes widen in fear and he rushes past Misha with a short ‘goodbye’. He practically runs towards the cabin. The phone isn’t ringing but that doesn’t mean Paul hasn’t already called. Jared is panting from running so hard and he tries to use the techniques Misha showed to calm his breathing, but it won’t work. He’s too agitated right now.

  


Five minutes after Jared gets back to the cabin the phone starts to ring and Jared jerks violently. He’s trembling when he picks up the phone.

  


“Hello?” He asks shyly.

  


“Where the hell have you been?” Paul’s voice bellows through the phone. “I’ve called three times. Haven’t I told you to be in your cabin at noon? Do I need to ask David to escort you back each and every time, you little shit?”

  


“N-o,” he stutters.

  


“I told you I’ll call every day around noon, can you do nothing right? It’s not too difficult you worthless little brat.”

  


Jared bites his bottom lip to keep from crying, crying only makes it worse.

  


“So where were you?” Paul asks grimly.

  


“I had a yoga lesson,” Jared admits quietly and Paul barks a laugh.

  


“Yoga! I should have known, you’re such a wuss and would take yoga lessons.” Paul’s voice is full of sarcasm and arrogance. “Well, you enjoy your little yoga lessons for the time being. I won’t tolerate something like that in LA. Tomorrow I want you to answer the phone at the first time. Do I make myself clear?”

  


“Yes,” Jared answers defeated.

  


Paul disconnects the call and Jared falls onto his bed, burying his head in his pillows. He wishes he could still feel carefree like he did after his yoga lesson, but Paul had been able to destroy everything of that feeling with his hurtful words.

  


There is a knock at his door, but Jared stays on his bed. He doesn’t want to see anybody, not right now.

  


“Jared?” Misha calls through the door. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You left so suddenly.” Jared buries his head deeper in the pillows. “Okay, I’m gonna leave now. You know where to find me if you need someone to talk.”

  


He hears Misha walking down the gravel path and the tears start falling. He’s alone, all alone.

  
  
 

  


David is sitting at his desk shuffling through a few papers when the phone rings. He looks at the clock on the wall and knows exactly who’s on the other end.

  


“Yeah,” he answers.

  


“So Jared is still taking yoga lessons,” Paul says instead of a greeting.

  


“Yeah, I couldn’t really tell him to stop,” David says hesitantly. “Jeff would have ripped me a new one otherwise.” He hates that he sounds so damn unsure and self-conscious. It’s just that Paul has that effect on people.

  


“No, it’s okay. Let him have his little yoga lessons. Just keep an eye on him,” Paul demands. “Is he behaving himself? And what about Chad?”

  


“Jared’s keeping mostly to himself and as far as I can tell he and Chad aren’t spending much time together.”

  


Paul sighs. “Good, keep me posted.” And the call is disconnected.

  


David sighs relieved. That went surprisingly well and David is glad he could give his friend some good news.

 

  



	4. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 3/9+Epilogue

  
  
 

  


Sam is in the kitchen cutting potatoes for tonight’s dinner. It’s her realm and refuge where she can relax and collect new strength. She loves cooking, always did. She was only eight when she decided to be a chef. She worked in several of the best restaurants all over the world until she met Jeff in Paris twenty-five years ago.

  


Humming ‘Hey Jude’ under her breath, Sam feels how the stress of her everyday life slips away and she starts smiling. There is a soft knock at the door. Wondering who would disturb her at this time of day, Sam turns around and sees Jared standing at the door. He’s nervously biting his bottom lip and his cheeks are bright red as if he’s really embarrassed to interrupt.

  


“Hey, Jared. Can I help you?”

  


Over the last week she had a close eye on the boy and it didn’t evade her notice that Jared is finally opening up a little. He’s talking, well he’s saying one or two words when somebody asks him a question. But Sam thinks that is definitely something. When he got here a little over a week ago, Jared was completely silent and winced every time somebody spoke to him. So, that he’s talking now is a good thing.

  


“Ehm… I wanted to ask if you… maybe have some sugar cubes for me.” He is looking at her through his bangs and kneading his palm nervously.

  


Sam raises her eyebrows. “What do you need sugar cubes for?” She’s just curious but Jared seems to think she’s judging him by the way he steps back and looks around for an escape.

  


“I… never mind.” Jared backs away and Sam rushes over to touch his shoulder. He winces scared and Sam’s heart breaks for the shy young man. She wonders what happened to Jared that he’s so scared of people.

  


“Hey hon, sure you can have sugar cubes,” she rushes to say.

  


Jared stops, staying where he is while Sam walks over to the cabinets to get out a handful of sugar cubes.

  


“Here.”

  


The young man opens his hands and Sam lets the sugar drop in them. She smiles and even gets a small smile in return.

  


“Thanks,” Jared whispers, a small smile tugging at the edges of his mouth.

  


“Not a problem.” Sam sees how Jared takes in every detail of her kitchen. Later she will wonder what made her ask him, but right now she just does. “Hey, you wanna help me?” Not once in her life did Sam ask somebody to join her while cooking, but in this moment she thinks it’s the right thing to do.

  


Jared’s eyes widen in surprise. “I…” He cuts off and just nods.

  


“Here, put the sugar in here.” She hands him a little box and he puts the cubes away. “You can wash your hands over there.” Sam points at the sink. “And then I could need some help with cutting vegetables.”

  


Sam gives Jared the zucchini and the tomatoes to cut and shows him how small he should cut them. When Jared starts to cut the vegetables, Sam thinks that he has a natural talent for working in a kitchen. He works fast, but concentrated and Sam finds herself watching him more often, not because he does it wrong, but because she’s entranced with the ease with which Jared handles the job.

  


“You like cooking?” Jared nods, but otherwise stays silent. “You cook a lot at home?” Sam knows she probably shouldn’t pry, but she really wants to get to know the young man better.

  


Jared nods again. “All the time.”

  


“So, your husband can’t cook?” Sam asks amused. She knows what she’s talking about, Jeff can’t cook one bit. He’d even burn water.

  


A small, sad smile forms on Jared’s face. “No, he can’t.”

  


Sam wonders what the sad look on Jared’s face means. He doesn’t look happy talking about his marriage or his husband. Maybe it’s because he’s in Europe right now and Jared misses him. Maybe it’s something else entirely. Sam isn’t sure, but the pit in her stomach tells her that something isn’t right here. She just nods, though, without voicing any of her concerns, knowing that Jared would just crawl back into his shell and she really doesn’t want that. Therefore she lets it go for now.

  


They work in silence for the better of the next hour and when Jared finally grabs his box full of sugar cubes Sam is a little sad to lose the company.

  


“I wanted to make pumpkin pie for dessert tomorrow. You wanna help me again?”

  


Jared looks up, his eyes full of surprise and he nods, smiling slightly. “Yeah.”

  


“Good, tomorrow at the same time.” Sam smiles. “I’ll see you tonight at dinner.”

  


Jared nods and walks out of the kitchen. Something about this young man wakes Sam’s protective streak. She’s glad he agreed to come back tomorrow.

  
  
 

  


“Hey, where’ve you been?”

  


Jared turns around, the box of sugar cubes in his hands. Chad is running towards him in nothing more than board shorts and he’s still dripping wet.

  


“I helped Sam with dinner,” he explains with a small, happy smile on his face.

  


Chad shakes his wet head and little drops of cold lake water land on Jared. When Jared shivers, Chad laughs.

  


“How about you come back to the lake? Sophia and Mike are there.”

  


Jared looks at his feet in the dust to avoid Chad’s pleading look. “Nah, but you go back.”

  


“Jaybird, c’mon. It’s fun. Besides, we’ve been here for a week and you haven’t really spent any time with the other guests, dude. They’re really nice and funny people. You should join us some time,” Chad says softly.

  


Jared bites his bottom lip nervously. Chad is right. He hasn’t spent much time with the other guest, except for Jensen and Sophia. Mostly because Jared isn’t feeling uncomfortable in the presence of the other guests and tries to find secluded spots to sit and draw.

  


Chad loves company, though. He likes chatting with people and he never had a problem to make new friends. He would never force Jared to join them, though. He always accepted that Jared rather wants to be alone.

  


Jared looks at the sugar cubes in his hand. He had asked Sam for them to bring them back to the paddock and Shadow. Over the last week, Jared had spent a lot of time sitting and quietly talking to the horse and today he really wanted Shadow to get a little treat.

  


“I… maybe later?” He begs Chad quietly, hoping that his best friend will understand.

  


Chad grins knowingly. “Yeah, okay. Just do what you gotta do, dude. I’ll see you later.” He jogs back towards the lake and Jared walks up the path towards the paddock.

  


Shadow is standing in the far back corner and Jared rounds the fence to get closer to him. If you look closer, beneath the mud and dirt on Shadow’s fur, the horse could be beautiful. He’s tall, with long legs, black fur and just a little bit of white on his nose and hooves.

  


He stays where he is when he notices Jared getting closer. It’s a little win for the young man because the first few tries, the horse ran directly to the other corner of the paddock. Jared sets a few sugar cubes on the pole in the corner and sits down in the grass. Now he waits, talking softly to Shadow.

  


Jared tells him about his day, about Sam inviting him to cook with her. That had totally surprised Jared, but it had been really nice and he is looking forward to making the pumpkin pie with Sam tomorrow. He talks about Chad and Jensen, who he has seen every night for the last week. When he thinks about Jensen, a small smile forms on his face and he can’t really wait for tonight to meet with the other man.

  


In the last week, Jared had come to crave Jensen’s company like nobody else’s. He never would have thought that somebody could have the effect that Jared would want to spend every waking minute and preferable the sleeping minutes too, with him. Jensen makes him smile and laugh and it’s a new feeling. With the older man Jared doesn’t have to watch what he’s saying, he can just talk and Jensen never judges him. It’s liberating.

  


Shadow seems to like Jared’s company. He snuffles quietly and turns towards the sugar placed on the pole, he even sniffs at them. Jared smiles and whispers encouraging words at the horse until Shadow actually takes some of it. Jared wants to run and tell Jensen.

  
  
 

  


Sweat is running down Jensen’s back and his t-shirt is sticking uncomfortably to this skin. He needs a shower. This morning he went on another hiking trip with Chris and Steve. These two became really close over the last week and Jensen wonders why Chris even asked him to go with them and why he said ‘yes’. What had gotten into him to go hiking when it is so damn hot? He definitely isn’t used to the stifling heat anymore.

  


Now, they’re thankfully on their way back to the ranch and only about ten minutes out. Chris and Steve walk in front of him and with the way they look at each other Jensen feels a lot like a third wheel. If they had wanted to be alone they could have just said something.

  


They get to a little hill that provides a beautiful view over the lake and the ranch. Jensen can hear someone squealing and he sees that there are three people in the lake right now. From what he can see from here he guesses Chad, Sophia and Mike. He wonders where Tom is. He hasn’t seen him a lot during the last week.

  


Mike told them one night after dinner that Tom is a successful attorney and they booked the stay at the ranch to get away from the stress and hectic of their lives in LA. It’s not really working right now as Tom checks with his office at least twice a day, because of an important case going on. Mike seems really disappointed that Tom still has some work to do, but he makes the most out of their stay.

  


Jensen let’s his eyes roam over the compound looking for Jared. The younger man is not at the lake, but Jensen finds him at the back paddock. He’s sitting there looking at the horse. Jared told him about Shadow and that he keeps the horse company sometimes. Jensen smiles. He’s sure that Jared will tell him tonight what he did at the paddock.

  


Over the last week they’ve become good friends and Jensen misses Jared’s company when they’re not together. The young man had wormed his way into Jensen’s heart and Jensen is sure that even when they part way, he will never forget Jared. He’s already dreading that day, though.

  


When they finally reached the ranch, Jensen runs towards the lake and jumps in head first. The water is chilly but it really helps to cool Jensen down. He resurfaces and hears Sophia squealing.

  


“Jen, a little warning would be great.”

  


He looks at her and laughs, splashing water in her face. Sophia starts screaming and tries to protect herself by holding up her arms, but Chad grabs her from behind and holds her. Jensen splashes a little more water at her face and Chad lifts Sophia up and throws her in a few feet away. When she resurfaces, she’s spluttering and scowling, but Jensen sees that she’s trying to keep from laughing.

  


Jensen makes his way towards the small beach where Chris and Steve are keeping Mike company. When he gets there, Jared is slowly walking down to them and a bright smile forms on Jensen’s face. He waves and Jared gives a little wave and a smile back. Jensen walks past his other friends and comes to a halt in front of Jared. He looks up and smiles before shaking his head fiercely, drenching Jared in the process.

  


“Ew Jen,” Jared says quietly. “You’re all wet.”

  


Jensen laughs. “No kidding, genius.”

  


Jared gives him a bright smile and Jensen can’t get enough of these dimples. They had come out for the first time a few days back and ever since Jensen tries to make Jared smile just to see his dimples.

  


“I really need to take a shower. I’ll see you tonight, okay?” Jared nods and Jensen brushes his fingertips over Jared’s hand before making his way towards his cabin.

  
  
 

  


Jared watches Jensen leave and he really wishes the older man would be staying. He turns back to the lake and sees Chris, Steve and Mike watching him curiously. Chad and Sophia are still floundering about the water. They’re really getting close and Jared thinks they might make a good match, at least they seems really comfortable around each other.

  


Jared looks around for a spot to sit and wait for Chad and Sophia to get out of the water, when Mike calls his name.

  


“Hey, Jared. Come sit down.” The older man scoots over on his towel and motions for Jared to sit down. Jared isn’t sure what to do, but it would probably disrespectful to sit somewhere else so he drops down next to Mike on the towel.

  


He isn’t sure what to think of Mike or Chris, or Steve for that matter. They haven’t really talked to each other, but Chris is Jensen’s best friend and Jensen seems to like Steve and Mike. So Jared thinks they might be okay.

  


“So, I heard your husband is in Europe right now,” Mike says casually and Jared nods. “Is he away on business often?”

  


Jared nods again. “Yeah.”

  


“You probably miss him a lot then, huh?” Mike sighs. “I mean, it’s the same with Tom. He works a lot and even though he isn’t on business trips often, he still stays at the office late most of the time. It sucks.”

  


Jared just shrugs because he’s not sure how to respond, mostly because he is happy when Paul is away, but also because he really doesn’t want to talk about Paul or his marriage. Nobody would understand anyway.

  


“How long have you been married?” Mike asks curiously.

  


“Two years,” Jared says quietly.

  


Something flickers through Mike’s eyes, but it’s gone too fast for Jared to analyze what it means. Mike tells him that he and Tom have been married for almost seven years and that he still loves him like the first day they met, maybe even more. Jared thinks it must be nice to be in love with someone for so long or be in love at all.

  
  
 

  


“Hey.” Jensen drops next to Jared on the grass after dinner. Their arms brush and Jared shudders. The older man groans. “God I’m so full. I swear I’ll get back to LA with at least twenty pounds more.”

  


Jared chuckles. He knows what Jensen means, Sam’s cooking is really good and Jared can’t get enough of it, either.

  


“You’re gonna be fat,” he jokes and doesn’t even know what makes him speak so freely with Jensen, but it feels liberating.

  


“I’m gonna be so fat,” Jensen laughs and nudges Jared shoulder. “So,” Jensen continues, “I’m sure you heard about the bonfire tomorrow at the beach. You gonna go?”

  


Jared looks out on the dark lake. Yes, he heard about the bonfire. Actually, Chad wouldn’t stop talking about it at dinner. But he isn’t sure that it is a good idea. Okay, he likes most of the people at the ranch, but he’s still feeling uncomfortable with too many people around, like they watch and judge him.

  


“Don’t know.” Jared shrugs. “What about you?”

  


Jensen nods. “Yeah, I think I’ll go. Could be fun and Steve is gonna bring his guitar.” If Jensen really goes to the bonfire, it would mean he and Jared wouldn’t be able to spend their quiet time. It makes Jared sad, but it was just a matter of time that Jensen would grow bored with Jared’s company. “I’d really like it if you came too, Jay.”

  


Jared turns around and Jensen is smiling fondly at him, as if he knew exactly what Jared had been thinking.

  


“You would?” Jared asks skeptically.

  


“Sure,” Jensen nods. “How could I not want my new friend there?” A small smile appears on Jared’s face at the word ‘friend’. He really likes that Jensen thinks of him as friend. “Oh c’mon Jay. Say ‘yes’.” He nudges Jared’s shoulder with his and Jared laughs.

  


“Yeah, okay.” He never would have considered going if Jensen hadn’t asked.

  


“Really?” Jensen’s eyes light up. “Oh we’re gonna have so much fun.”

  


It amuses Jared that Jensen is so damn excited about a simple bonfire and soon he feels the excitement bubbling in his belly.

  


A little later, they’re lying next to each other on the grass. Jared would just have to move his hand a little and they would be touching. He tells Jensen that Shadow ate the sugar Jared laid out for him and Jensen shares his enthusiasm, even though Jared is sure that Jensen isn’t really interested in horses. It’s just nice that he’s listening at all.

  


Jensen speaks about his hiking trip with Chris and Steve and asks Jared if maybe he wants to go on a trip with Jensen sometime. Jared wants to. He’d probably hike back to LA if that would mean spending time with Jensen.

  


All of a sudden Jensen props up on his elbow and faces Jared. His face is lit by the moonlight only and he looks a lot like a Greek sculpture and Jared’s fingers itch to draw.

  


“Jay,” Jensen starts softly. “Would you show me some of your drawings? I’d really like to see them.”

  


Jared sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. He feels really self-conscious about his drawings having never heard anything good about them. Paul and his dad both told him that they’re nothing good. Jared hasn’t shown his drawings to anyone in a really long time, not even Chad.

  


But this is Jensen asking. It’s dark outside and Jared is hoping that the older man won’t be able to see much. Jared reaches over to the side and grabs his sketchbook, handing it to Jensen. He’s just glad that his drawings of Jensen are in a different sketchbook back at the cabin.

  


Jensen flips the book open and Jared hears him taking in a sudden breath. He’s looking out on the lake because he doesn’t want to see the disappointed look on Jensen’s face when he realizes how bad Jared is.

  


“This is amazing, Jay. You’re really talented.” Jensen sounds awed. Jared is really surprised about that, but Jensen’s probably only being polite. “So, you’re studying art in LA?” They’ve never talked about their day jobs or occupations and Jared shakes his head slowly. “No?” Jensen asks surprised. “Why not?”

  


Jared shrugs. This is why he doesn’t like to talk. How can he explain to Jensen why he isn’t at college without sounding like a loser? “I’m not that good.”

  


“What?” Jensen exclaims. “Who told you that? This is beautiful.” When Jared refuses to look at Jensen, the older man cups his chin gently and turns Jared’s face towards him. “Who told you that you’re not that good?” He asks quietly.

  


“Paul.” It’s out before Jared can stop himself. “And my dad.”

  


“Well, they have clearly no idea what they’re talking about.”

  


“Besides,” Jared continues quietly, “Paul thinks college is a waste of time for me, when all I’ll ever be is a househusband.” It’s really hard to admit this to Jensen.

  


“So you just believed them? Did you apply to colleges?” Jensen asks stunned.

  


“No.” Jared shakes his head. “I wouldn’t go, so why write any application?”

  


“You could have told your husband you wanted to go,” Jensen insists.

  


Jared snorts. “You don’t know Paul.”

  


“Then tell me Jay.”

  


Jared shakes his head. “No.” He really doesn’t want Jensen to know how pathetic and weak he really is.

  


It ends the conversation effectively and Jensen drops back onto the grass. He still has Jared’s sketchbook in his hands though, and keeps flipping through it. Jared lies down too and the next minutes are spent in silence.

  


When Jensen lies the sketchbook down he says, “Well, just for the record, I like them and I think you’re very talented.”

  


Jared turns to face Jensen. “Thank you,” he whispers and he means it. The biggest compliment he could have ever received is Jensen liking his art.

  
  
 

  


When Jensen gets to the small beach the next night, the fire is already burning. The flames loom high in the sky and the wood is crackling. It reminds him of bonfires he had been to as a kid and sits down in the warm sand and leans against one of the tree trunks that Jeff and his crew dragged over here earlier.

  


Chris and Steve are already there and talking quietly with soft smiles on their faces and Jensen wonders when they finally take the next step and admit that they like each other. Misha comes over and hands Jensen a beer.

  


“Thanks man.”

  


Misha nods and drops down in the sand next to Jensen. “You’re welcome. Will Jared join us tonight?”

  


Jensen looks at Misha intently, searching for any implication of a hidden agenda, but he finds none. “Well, he told me he would. I’m not so sure, though.”

  


“You did one hell of a job with that kid, you know that?” Misha says.

  


Jensen shakes his head. “It’s not a job. And besides, all I did was listen to him.”

  


“Yeah, well, that might be, but you’ve changed him a lot in only a little over a week. He’s smiling more and talking more. He may still be shy, but you really pulled him out of his shell. I don’t think any of us could have done that, not even Chad.” Misha chuckles. “Y’know what Chad told me?” Jensen shakes his head curiously. “He said that it took him two months to even get Jared to acknowledge him in high school. And here you are and Jared is talking to every one of us in less than a week.”

  


Jensen squirms under Misha’s intense look. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

  


“Nothing,” Misha grins. “Honestly, I think you’re really good for Jared. Keep that up, Jensen. He needs someone like you.” The other man gets up and waves a little goodbye before walking over to Sophia and Chad.

  


Jensen is left alone at the side of the fire with his confused thoughts. He hasn’t really done anything except listening to, and keeping Jared company. But he would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed the changes in the young man. Jensen just doesn’t want to take all the credit for that. Because if it had been all him who helped Jared to open up, he doesn’t want to imagine what’s going to happen when they will have to say goodbye. And they will have to.

  


“Hi.”

  


Jensen’s head snaps up when he hears the soft voice and he smiles at Jared. “Hey Jay. C’mon, sit down.”

  


Jared smiles back and takes his seat next to Jensen in the dry sand. He has his sketchbook tucked away under his arm. “I thought I might draw something.”

  


“You do that. How about you draw a picture of our lovebirds over there?” Jensen points at Chris and Steve. “It looks like they need to see it on paper, before they admit they like each other.”

  


A soft laugh escapes Jared and it’s one of the sounds Jensen wants to hear for the rest of his life. He motions over to Misha for another beer. “And one for Jared too.”

  


“Here.” Misha hands them the beer and Jared takes it hesitantly. “It’s good to see you here, Jared.”

  


“Yeah,” Jared replies quietly. “Jensen asked me to come.”

  


Misha chuckles. “I bet he did. Have fun you two.”

  


He makes his way back to the cooler and Jensen wants to kill him a little for implying that Jensen wants to be anything more than Jared’s friend. Then he sees Jared looking at the bottle in his hand.

  


“You should have said something if you don’t like beer.”

  


Jared shakes his head. “Paul doesn’t like when I drink.”

  


Jensen huffs and shakes his head. “The more you tell me about him the more I think your husband is a first class jerk.” As soon as Jensen said it he wants to take it back. He may not like what he knows about Paul so far, but he shouldn’t badmouth him in front of Jared. “I’m sorry, Jay. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  


Jared gives him a slight smile. “It’s okay.” And then he takes a sip of his beer.

  


Jensen chuckles when he sees him shudder a little. “You don’t have to drink it, if you don’t like it, Jay.”

  


“No,” Jared shakes his head. “It’s okay, just not used to it, I guess.”

  


Holding out his beer to Jared, they clink bottles before taking another gulp. They sit in silence until Mike drops down next to them with a scowl on his face.

  


“Where is Tom?” Jensen asks, but he’s sure he already knows the answer.

  


“Where would he be, huh? In the cabin of course,” Mike says upset. “He told me yesterday that the case would be finished soon, but he’s still talking to his colleagues in LA. Why did he even come here if he didn’t want to spend any time with me?”

  


“I’m sure that’s not it,” Jared says softly and Mike’s eyes widen in surprise. “I mean, he came here with you when he could’ve stayed behind. So, that has to mean something.”

  


Jensen hides his proud grin behind one hand. For the first time Jared said more than one sentence without hunching his shoulders or making himself small. He just said it and he doesn’t even seem to think that’s a big deal.

  


Mike shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean we decided to come here and relax, but he’s only thinking about work. When he locks himself away in the cabin almost the whole day, it’s the same as if he stays at the office late in LA.”

  


“I’m sure he’ll start relaxing as soon as the case is finished,” Jensen says.

  


“I hope you’re right, man,” Mike sighs.

  


Jensen and Jared give him a sympathetic smile and Mike takes a swig of his beer. Soon, the bottle is empty and the bald man grabs another one. Well, it looks like Mike is drowning his problems in beer tonight.

  


After Jared has emptied his bottle as well Jensen gets up to get them another one and when he gets back David is standing over Jared. The younger man bites his bottom lip nervously and hunches his shoulders. Jensen curses. Jared had been doing so well tonight and then this guy appears and he goes back to the shy little boy.

  


“Hey, Jay. Here is your beer.”

  


Jared lifts his head and looks pleadingly at Jensen. It’s a cry for help and Jensen lays his hand protectively on Jared’s shoulder.

  


“Can I help you, man?” he asks David.

  


“Jared shouldn’t drink beer,” David says and moves to grab the bottle out of Jared’s hand. Jensen however, steps between them and grabs his wrist.

  


“Maybe you should let Jay decide for himself, dude.”

  


“Well, I’m just watching out for him,” David justifies. “He shouldn’t drink so much alcohol. It’s not good for him.”

  


“And how would you know?” It’s Chad who asks. “As far as I know you only met Jared once at the wedding reception. How would you know that alcohol is not good for him, jerk?”

  


“Because Paul told me, asshole,” David says angrily.

  


“Oh yeah and Paul knows exactly what’s good for Jared,” Chad says with sarcasm dripping from his voice. “That’s why…”

  


“CHAD!”

  


All of the people around the bonfire are alerted to their little argument when Jared practically yells his best friend’s name. They all look at Jared with wide, surprised eyes and the young man blushes. Jensen sees Sam and Jeff exchanging a confused and concerned look.

  


“Stop it, Chad,” he says quietly before he looks at Jensen. “Thanks for the beer.”

  


Suddenly everybody seems to be looking at David, waiting for him to say something against Jared having that beer. He looks like he wants to say something, but Jensen catches the raised eyebrows Jeff is watching David with and it seems to shut the older man up immediately.

  


Jensen wonders what the look on Jeff’s face means and if they already had a talk about the way David is treating Jared. David huffs and stomps away. Jeff wants to get up but Sam whispers something in his ear and he sits back down next to her, kissing her temple.

  


Jensen takes his place next to Jared again and nudges his shoulder. “You okay?”

  


The young man smiles shakily. “Yeah, thanks for sticking up for me.”

  


“Always Jay,” Jensen assures him with heartfelt honesty and Jared rewards him by showing his dimples.

  


The other people go back to their conversations and soon they’re all talking and laughing together. Forgotten is the commotion that happened earlier. Steve takes out his guitar and starts singing. Jeff and Sam are the first ones to start dancing to the love songs Steve plays. Sophia and Chad follow shortly after and then Alona is leaning over to Jared.

  


“You wanna dance with me, Jared?”

  


Jared’s eyes widen in shock and he looks a lot like a deer caught in the headlights again and Jensen is not sure why. Is it because of the dancing itself or because Alona is asking?

  


“I… I can’t,” Jared whispers and looks embarrassed.

  


“What?” Alona asks.

  


“I can’t dance.” The young man is blushing again and Jensen guesses it’s another thing Paul doesn’t allow Jared to do.

  


Alona laughs, but it’s not meant to be mean. It’s a warm, gentle laugh that lights up her face and seems to ease Jared’s anxiety. “Oh, no problem. I’ll show you.”

  


Jared shoots Jensen a helpless look, but Jensen just pushes him away. “Go and let Alona show you so you can dance with me later.”

  


He isn’t sure what had gotten into him asking Jared to dance with him later, but Jensen knows it was a good idea when he sees Jared smiling at him. While Alona tells Jared where to put his hands and how to move his feet, Jensen stays behind with Mike.

  


“He really likes you,” Mike says.

  


“I like him, too,” Jensen replies.

  


Mike chuckles. “No, I mean Jared likes you.”

  


“Dude, he’s married.”

  


“Doesn’t mean he can’t like you. And besides, something tells me he isn’t really happy with his marriage.”

  


Jensen frowns, but doesn’t say anything else. Mike might be right though, about Jared’s marriage. Jensen has the same feeling. It doesn’t mean that Jensen is allowed to feel anything but friendship for Jared. If the marriage is happy or not, Jared is still married.

  


All of a sudden, Tom sits down next to Mike and Jensen sees him whispering in Mike’s ear. The bald man’s face softens and he entwines his hand with Tom’s.

  


“Dance with me.”

  


Tom rolls his eyes, but he gets up and pulls Mike into his arms. They’re swaying slowly to the rhythm of Steve’s guitar. There is a small smile displayed on Mike’s face and Tom seems to relax into his husband’s arms. Jensen hopes that it will be like this for the rest of their stay. He likes Mike and Tom and he can see that they’re still very much in love with each other.

  


One song ends and another starts and a large shadow looms over Jensen. He looks up and sees Jared standing there holding out his hand. The young man looks at him shyly, but there is a small smile displayed on his face.

  


Jensen smiles back softly getting up and Jared takes another gulp of his beer before letting Jensen put his arms on his hips. Jared lays his arms around Jensen’s shoulders and suddenly they’re flushed against each other. Jensen can feel Jared’s body heat seeping through his clothes and he sighs. Jared is a little taller than Jensen, but he manages to put his head on Jensen’s shoulder and Jensen has the feeling that this is how it’s supposed to be.

  


They don’t talk, just sway silently in the warm light of the bonfire. When Steve starts to play faster songs they part with red cheeks and stupid smiles on their faces. Jensen also feels several pairs of eyes burning in his back. Then Alona is back and drags Jared away from him and Jensen falls back in the sand and watches them jump around like little kids. He laughs, and when his eyes meet Chris’ he knows that his best friend will not let this go.

  


Alona and Jared joined by Chad, Sophia, Sam and Jeff, dance around the fire for quite some time. Jared only stops occasionally to take a gulp of his beer. He dances several songs with Alona, Sophia and Sam. The way his cheeks are flushed and Jared is laughing, warms Jensen’s heart and makes him unbelievably happy.

  


When Jared finally falls into the sand next to Jensen, he’s panting and broadly grinning. He grabs Jensen’s beer out of the older man’s hand and takes a large gulp. At first Jensen is stunned, but then he laughs.

  


“You having fun, Jay?”

  


The younger man nods. “I didn’t know dancing was so much fun. I’m wiped out.”

  


“It’s okay,” Jensen laughs,” you can rest a little.”

  


Jared’s eyes are sparkling in the bonfire and he’s still grinning like a loon. Jensen really wants to kiss him right now. So, he turns away and takes a sip of his beer. Jared lays his head on Jensen’s shoulder and snuggles close. The older man tenses for just a second, before he starts to relax again. Chris is shooting him angry glances, but Jensen will deal with him later.

  


“Jen?”

  


“Yeah, Jay?”

  


“I think I’m drunk,” he slurs. “Paul would be so pissed.”

  


Jensen swallows the anger that starts burning in his stomach when Jared mentions Paul, instead he chuckles and replies, “That happens to the best of us.”

  


Jared laughs, soft and warm against Jensen’s neck and Jensen shudders. He should move away, get a little distance between him and Jared, but he doesn’t and for the moment he refuses to feel guilty for it.

  


The night slowly comes to an end. Jeff and Sam say goodnight and then Alona, Misha and Milo. Mike and Tom left a little while ago, looking insanely happy and relaxed. In the end it’s just Jensen, Jared, Chris, Steve, Chad and Sophia. Steve abandoned his guitar some time ago and is currently passionately kissing Chris. Jensen grins. Finally. Chad and Sophia seem very comfortable, too. And Jared? He is asleep, pressed close to Jensen’s body, his head buried in the crook of Jensen’s neck.

  


When it’s finally time to go to bed, Jensen really doesn’t want to. Chad offers to help him get Jared back to his cabin and Jensen can’t come up with why that’s a bad idea. So, he runs his hands through Jared’s hair and it’s really as soft as it looks.

  


“Hey, Jay. You need to wake up.”

  


Jared moans. “Don’t want to. Comfy.”

  


Jensen smiles fondly. “We need to get you to bed.”

  


Finally, Chad and Jensen get Jared up and to his cabin. The young man is already asleep again when his head hits the pillow. Jensen gently caresses Jared’s cheek before turning around finding Chad looking at him with unreadable eyes. Jensen expects an angry rant, but Chad just nods.

  


“Just take good care of him,” he says and walks out Jared’s cabin.

  


Jensen nods stunned. He will take good care of Jared. With a last tender look he walks out of the cabin and closes the door quietly behind him.

  
  
 

Chris makes his way back to the cabin around ten the next morning. He’s smiling stupidly thinking about a night full of pretty hot and dirty sex. He and Steve had been dancing around each other since they met on the first day at the ranch. Last night, Chris had finally made the first move and kissed the other man. It was long overdue in his opinion.

Jensen is leaning against the small kitchen counter, holding a cup of coffee and he looks still sleepy. Chris walks over and grabs a second mug pouring him a cup of steamy coffee. They stand in silence for quite some time. Chris blows on his coffee before taking a small sip. The hot liquid almost burns his tongue and he curses under his breath. Jensen smiles fondly, shaking his head but then his look turns serious again.

“So, lay it on me.”

Chris sighs. He really doesn’t want to fight with Jensen first thing in the morning. “I think I don’t have to do it, if you already asked me for it. I think you know exactly what you’ve been doing.”

“And what have I been doing Chris?” There is anger in Jensen’s voice, but also helplessness and a little desperation.

“He’s married, Jen. I know you like him, but he’s married for God’s sake.”

This has nothing to do with Chris not liking Jared; he likes the kid just fine. This is about his best friend getting his heart broken.

“I’m just his friend. Besides, his husband is a jerk,” Jensen says earnestly.

“He may be a jerk, but that’s not your business, Jen. Jared chose to marry that ‘jerk’, so there must be something about the guy that Jared loves. Besides, you’ve never met the man, so how could you know?”

“I just know, okay.” Jensen groans and rubs a hand over his face. “Jared said some things.”

“Look Jensen, just move on from Jared, okay? Married men, you don’t get involved with them, you’ll just get hurt.”

“I’m not doing anything with him, Chris!”

“Yeah sure, you’re just his friend,” Chris replies sarcastically. “Does Jared know that as well? I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at him, Jen. You think no one’s looking but you’re not exactly subtle about your feelings, never have been.”

“Sure he knows,” Jensen says certain. “Besides, I don’t look at him in a special way. Like you said Chris, he is married. Kinda hard to forget.”

Chris sighs again. He just wants Jensen to be careful. His friend deserves to be happy and Jared is a sure fire way to get Jensen’s heart broken. He steps in front of Jensen and grabs his friend’s shoulders.

“I just want you to be careful. You might not be doing anything right now, but you want to, I can see it. At some point one of you will do something, and then something else… Jared is married and when this is over, whatever you guys have out here will be over and he’s going back to his husband. He won’t choose you Jensen, you know that. I just don’t want you to get your heart broken.”

Jensen smiles slightly. “Thanks, Mom. But I can take of myself. And just for the record, I’m his friend, nothing more.”

Chris nods. He just wishes he could believe Jensen. He has seen the way his friend looks at Jared and more importantly Chris has seen how Jared looks at Jensen, like he had hung the sun and moon. Maybe Jensen knows to keep his distance. Jared however, is falling head-over-heels in love. Chris doesn’t know what the deal with Jared and his husband is and it doesn’t really matter to Chris. What matters to him is Jensen.

He hasn’t ever seen his friend like this and he can only see this ending badly. The way this is going, it will probably end badly for both of them.

 


	5. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 4/9+Epilogue

  
  
 

  


David plays with the phone in his hands and thinks about dialing the familiar number. He knows that Jared was completely trashed last night. He saw Chad and this guy Jensen helping the young man back to the cabin. He probably should tell Paul about that. Paul told David that Jared didn’t do alcohol so well, but David only saw that Jared had a lot of fun.

He dials the number and listens to it ring, before Paul picks up.

“Yeah, David?” Paul sounds content.

“I’m just calling to tell you that Jared was drunk last night.”

Paul groans annoyed. “What did I tell you about Jared and alcohol?”

“I couldn’t do anything about it. I tried, but Chad and this guy Jensen stood up for Jared. I couldn’t have done anything without upsetting the other guests,” David defends himself.

“Great,” Paul says grimly. “Why did I ask you to keep an eye on my husband, when you can’t do it? I’ll talk to Jared and tell him what I think of his behavior.” The call is disconnected and David rubs a hand over his face. This sucks.

 

  
  


 

  


A loud knock at the door jerks Jared out of his sleep. His head is threatening to explode and his mouth feels a lot like something died there. It is with only an enormous amount of straining that he manages to make it to the door. He blinks rapidly when warm glaring sun meets him and it takes Jared a second to see who’s standing in front of the door. It’s Jensen and he’s grinning, holding a plate with food.

Jared’s stomach turns upside down at the prospect of eating and he groans, before stumbling back towards his bed.

“Mornin’ sunshine.” Jensen’s cheery voice echoes in Jared’s head and he throws his arms over his ears to protect himself.

He’s gonna die, Jared is sure of that. He will never drink again. Jensen’s laugh tells him that he said that out loud. And why is Jensen’s voice so damn loud? He never drunk this much before, only ever a glass of wine now and again, he should have known better.

Then Jensen’s hand his running through his hair and the older man leans down to whisper in his ear, “C’mon, Jay. You need to eat something and since you didn’t make it to breakfast I asked Sam to make you some extra.”

Jared groans in embarrassment. “Just leave me.”

Jensen chuckles. “Go take a shower. Breakfast can wait.”

Jared lifts his head and sees Jensen’s green eyes looking at him with amusement. Have they always been so green? Before Jared can ask that and embarrass himself some more, Jensen gets up from the bed and walks into the bathroom. A second later, Jared hears the water in the shower. When he finally finds the strength to scramble out of bed, Jensen is sitting at the table and skims through a newspaper he brought with him.

“Hurry, Jay. The bacon is best if it’s still warm.”

The younger man huffs, but stumbles towards the shower. When he sheds out of his clothes, he realizes that he’s still wearing what he wore last night and he reeks of beer and sweat. He wrinkles his nose and climbs in the shower. Jensen was right, the shower works miracles and when Jared gets out twenty minutes later he feels a lot better and his stomach is growling.

Jensen is still sitting where Jared left him and he takes his place on the other side of the table when the phone rings. The younger man jerks and sees Jensen looking at him with a questioning frown on his face. Jared rushes over to the phone and answers with a shaky voice.

“Hello?”

“What the hell has gotten into you, you little shit?” Paul yells, his voice sounding through the phone and Jared knows that Jensen can hear him. “Isn’t it enough that you can’t do anything right? Now you have to go and get drunk to embarrass yourself even more?”

“Paul, I…”

“Shut up, brat. I don’t want to listen to your pathetic excuses. You’re just a worthless little brat. Keep embarrassing yourself, so everyone knows how pathetic you are.” The call is disconnected and Jared feels his hands trembling and tears are burning behind his eyes.

Jensen slowly takes the phone from his hand. “Come eat, Jay.” Jared follows Jensen with shaky legs, but he’s grateful that Jensen doesn’t ask about the phone call. They sit in silence while Jared eats the toast and bacon Sam made him.

“So,” Jensen says when Jared is finished, “you wanna go to the lake and spend the day relaxing in the sun. Or you wanna do something else?”

Jared shrugs. He’s not really keen on meeting his fellow guests right now. “I wanted to visit Shadow,” he says quietly.

“Yeah?” Jensen asks. “Can I come with?”

Jared looks at him surprised, but pleased. “You wanna go to the paddock with me, instead of lying in the sun?”

Jensen nods. “Sure.”

Five minutes later they’re on their way towards the stables and the paddock. Shadow is at his favorite spot at the back of the paddock and they make their way around it.

“So, you wanna go for a ride sometimes?” Jensen asks nonchalantly.

Jared would love to go for a ride, but the thing is…, “I can’t. I don’t know how to ride a horse.”

Jensen nods. For a second, something dark flashes through his eyes Jared can’t interpret, but it’s gone as fast as it came.

“Well, I can show you if you want.”

Jared nods smiling. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Great,” Jensen says.

When they finally reach the end of the paddock, they sit down and Jared lays a few sugar cubes on the pole for Shadow. The horse doesn’t even hesitate; he just makes his way over and snatches the cubes. Jared’s eyes light up when he sees that and he grins at Jensen.

“Have you seen that, Jen? Shadow just took the sugar without hesitating.”

Jensen laughs. “Yeah, pretty great.” His eyes take on a fond look. “I guess that he knows you wouldn’t hurt him. He trusts you.”

Jared feels his cheeks heat up at the compliment and he looks at the ground to avoid Jensen’s gentle look.

“I didn’t do anything. I just sat here.” Jared tries to play it down.

“Well, seems like Shadow needed exactly that.” Jensen nudges his shoulder and Jared shudders slightly at the touch. “I’m proud of you, Jay. Maybe you should try to feed Shadow some sugar cubes out of your hands.”

Jared can’t believe what Jensen is saying. Nobody told him that they were proud of him in a long time. His mom did it back when Jared was still a kid and Ryan was still living at home. But she stopped a long time ago. Again tears are threatening to make their way towards the surface, but this time they’re happy tears.

To do something and not have to look at Jensen, Jared walks over the fence, holding out his hand with a few sugar cubes in it and hopes that Shadow will come over and eat them as well. Jared stands there for what feels like eternity, but finally Shadow makes his way over, slowly and carefully. Then the horse snatches some of the cubes out of Jared’s hands. The young man is afraid to breathe or move or do anything to spook Shadow. Jared stands like a pillar until Shadow takes all the sugar cubes and snuffles at Jared’s hand before walking away a little.

Jared’s beaming when he turns around to Jensen. The other man is watching him in awe. “You did it,” Jensen whispers. “That’s… wow.”

Jared pulls the older man into a tight hug. “Thank you. I never would have tried that if it weren’t for you.”

Jensen shakes his head while pulling back a little. “No, Jay. That one’s all on you.”

They smile at each other stupidly before sitting down in the grass. They stay at the paddock for a little longer until Jensen gets up and declares that it’s time for Jared to learn how to ride a horse. At the stable, Alona is scrubbing the saddles, but when she notices them Jared finds himself with an arm full of small woman.

“Oh my God Jared. I can’t believe you got Shadow to eat out of your hand. That’s so awesome. We have to tell dad! He’d begun to think no one could help Shadow and he’s been around horses forever. Jared that’s amazing. You’re amazing!”

Jared laughs with red cheeks. “Later, Al. Right now Jensen wants to show me how to ride.”

If it’s possible Alona’s eyes light up even more. “Really? Great. Just let me get Luna ready for you.” The girl rushes out back on the second paddock where the other horses are right now.

 

  
  


 

  


Soon Luna is saddled and Jared is standing next to her. She’s not too tall, just reaches Jared’s shoulders, but the younger man looks a little scared. Jensen walks up behind him and whispers, “Just relax, okay? Alona says Luna is perfect for learning how to ride.”

Jensen helps Jared up in the saddle. It looks a little clumsy, but finally Jared is sitting on Luna’s back. He looks really nervous and tense. Jensen shows him how to hold the reins and explains that they’re just there to lead the horse and not to use them as a hold. Jared nods and Jensen leads Luna slowly around the outdoor riding arena. Alona is watching and cheering at Jared.

It doesn’t take long until Jensen lets Jared ride Luna without his help. Slowly, Jared relaxes in the rhythm of the horse and he looks more and more comfortable on its back. There is even a small smile on his face.

After an hour Jensen stops Luna and wants to help Jared of the horse’s back, but somehow Jared entangles his foot with the stirrup it’s on and Jensen loses his hold on Jared’s hips. The young man falls and Jensen barely has time to prevent Jared cracking his head on the ground. Luna doesn’t seem too upset, so Jensen turns to Jared first. Alona comes rushing over, too.

“Jay, are you okay?” Jensen asks concerned.

“Jared? Jared? Are you hurt?” Alona asks upset.

Jared groans. “No. Well, my hip hurts, but otherwise I’m fine.”

Jensen sighs in relief and frees Jared’s foot from the stirrup. He helps the younger man to stand up and they walk towards the fence. Jared’s is limping and he looks shaken.

“Maybe you should see Milo,” Alona says. “He’s a certified paramedic. He’ll know if you’ll need a hospital.”

Jared starts to shake his head, but Jensen grabs Jared’s arm, throws it around his shoulder and practically drags Jared over to the main house.

“Jen, I’m fine. Really.”

“Well, Jared, you’re limping. It was my idea to get you on a horse in the first place. So please do me the favor and let Milo check you out.”

“I’m just too stupid to ride a horse,” Jared says with anger in his voice.

“What? Why would you say something like this?” Jensen asked baffled.

Jared shrugs. “It’s what Paul’s always tells me. Maybe I should have listened to him.”

Jensen feels the anger starting to boil in his stomach. Paul. It always has something to do with Paul when Jared gets like this. He really wants to kick Paul’s ass right now.

“No, Jay,” Jensen says forcefully. “This is not your fault and Paul is wrong. You did really good. You just entangled your foot with the stirrup that’s all, could have happened to anybody.”

“Did it happen to you?” Jared asks.

“Yes,” Jensen replies, even though it’s a lie. But Jared doesn’t need to know what.

Jared looks at him skeptically, but seems to believe it a second later. Jensen feels guilty for lying to Jared, even if it makes him feel better.

Finally, they find Milo in the back office and it effectively cuts off Jensen’s response.

“What happened?” Milo asks.

Jensen explains quickly what happened and then Milo is leading Jared into the back room. “You’ll be okay, Jay. I’ll wait here.” Jared nods miserably, but follows Milo into the back.

 

  
  


 

  


After Milo examines Jared’s bruised hip and his ankle, which is thankfully just a little strained, he walks up to Jeff’s office and knocks.

“Come in.”

Jeff is sitting at his desk shuffling through a pile of paper. He smiles when he sees Milo walking in, but it falls away quickly when he notices the grim look the younger man wears on his face. Milo can see it has him worried immediately.

“Milo, what is it?”

“I examined Jared when he fell off a horse, and I need to tell you about something I found. I think Sam should come in too.” His voice is rough and it doesn’t sound like his own.

Jeff’s eyes widen at Milo’s unusual request, but he picks up the phone and calls down to the kitchen asking Sam to come up for a minute. Milo paces the office while they wait for Sam to arrive. Milo feels agitated and uncomfortable, barely looking at Jeff as they wait for Sam to come up. He knows he must look lost, because that’s exactly how he feels. He doesn’t know how to approach the topic at all. Sam walks into the office with a deep frown on her face.

“What’s going on?” She asks concerned.

Jeff gestures at Milo and the younger man just blurts out what is on his mind, “I… I think Jared is being abused.”

“What?” Jeff exclaims.

“Oh my God,” Sam gasps and drops into one of the chairs that are standing around the office. “How do you know?

“Are you sure?” Jeff asks.

Milo explains what happened and why Jared needed medical attention. He also tells them that it’s just a bruised hip and nothing to worry about. But there is more.

“Well, obviously I asked him to drop his pants. He did after hesitating for a second, but he was clearly really uncomfortable. And I don’t mean, oh-no-a-man-is-about-to-see-my-family-jewels, no I mean he practically vanished, really nervous and cringing. He hunched into himself and he didn’t even look at me, let alone talk.”

Milo sighs. “He was scared to hell and that’s just not normal. I mean no-one likes the doctor, but this was honest-to-God scared. And next to the obvious bruises where he fell to the ground I found other bruises, older bruises, and it looked like there were some faint scars on his upper hips. I didn’t have time to look that closely since Jared was practically freaking out, pulling his pants up and begging me to be able to leave.”

He stops and takes a deep breath. “The bruises were finger-shaped and mostly on his hips or thighs, none of them are new, and from the bruising it looks like it’s been going on a while, possibly years. So, yeah I think either Jared’s husband or somebody in his close vicinity is abusing Jared. I can’t think of any other reason to explain the bruises, not to mention Jared’s fear about dropping his trousers.”

Jeff rubs his hands over his face and Sam has slapped a hand over her mouth in horror.

“What do you think we should do?” Jeff asks slowly.

Milo shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“I mean, it could just mean he likes it rough,” Jeff adds contemplating.

“What? This is Jared we’re talking about, Jeff! The guy can barely get two words out without stammering!” Milo scoffs. “Have you seen him? That little shy, skittish boy. You really think he likes it rough? If I didn’t know he were married I would say he has never had sex in his life.”

Jeff nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t think he likes it rough. But honestly, I don’t think there is anything we can do. He’s an adult not a kid, no matter how young he is, and he’s not in any immediate danger here, the police wouldn’t even take us seriously based on a few bruises besides how do you think Jared would react to this?”

Milo throws his hands in the air and resumes his pacing. “You wanna let him go back to that asshole. We can’t let that happen.”

“I know,” Jeff groans. “But I don’t think confronting Jared is the right idea. He might not see it as abuse. We have to be really careful or Jared will go back into his shell and never speak to any of us again.”

“Maybe we should talk to Jensen,” Sam suggests. “Jared definitely likes him and Jensen seems to like Jared, too. He’s one of the few people Jared seems comfortable enough around, unless you count Chad.”

“But it’s not our place to tell, Sam,” Jeff throws in. “If Jared really likes Jensen, he’ll tell him himself sooner or later.”

Sam sighs sadly. “Who would do something like that to Jared? I can’t believe this is really happening.”

Milo shakes his head. “Believe me I was shocked when I saw the older bruises on his skin. If you ask me I think it’s Jared’s husband. As far as I can tell the guy has Jared on a pretty tight leash at home.”

Jeff sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “For now I think we should just keep an eye on the boy and make his stay here as comfortable as we can. And keep David away from him.”

“David,” Milo snorts. “I wonder if he really believes what this Paul is telling him or if he just does what he’s being asked without question.”

Sam nods. “He acts really weird ever since he got Jared from the airport. Hell, even before that.”

“Okay,” Jeff says, “let’s just keep it between us for the next few weeks. If Jared lets something slip, we’ll still be able to intervene or talk to Jensen.”

Milo nods and leaves the office. He’s not really happy with how that played out, but Jeff is right confronting Jared would probably make it worse. Well, from now on Milo will keep a close eye on Jared whenever he can.

 

  
  
 

  
After the incident with Luna, Jensen demands that Jared gets proper horseback riding lessons and Alona is more than happy to help.

So that’s why Jared finds himself on Luna again the next day, after his yoga lessons and after Paul’s daily call, which had been a lot calmer but not less hurtful. Jensen still hasn’t said anything about what he witnessed yesterday, but Jared is sure that he hasn’t forgotten.

His hip still hurts a little, but it’s a lot better now, just like Milo promised yesterday. Jared finally starts to realize that Milo didn’t mean any harm with his light flirting on the first days. It’s just how he is and yesterday he had been nothing but professional.

Jared knows that Milo must have seen the bruises Paul left the night before Jared took off towards the ranch. But he hasn’t said a word and Jared is very grateful for that. He really doesn’t want to explain why and how these bruises got on his hips. Now, Milo and Jensen have both seen or heard different proof of how Paul treats Jared. But none of them have said anything about it or treated Jared any different because of that and Jared really appreciates it.

Jensen’s leaning against the fence watching Jared with attentive eyes, following each and every move Jared makes on the horse. It’s kind of funny. Jensen seems even more stressed than Jared and he isn’t even riding the horse. Jensen had even made Jared promise that he would come to the lake with him later and join the others at the beach. Jared is not too fond of the idea, but he thinks that he doesn’t have to take of his shorts. So it will be okay.

After the lesson Alona takes care of Luna and the other horses, telling them that she’ll join them at the lake as soon as she’s finished here. Jensen and Jared make their way over to the lake. Chad and Sophia are there, as are Mike, Chris and Steve. Sophia looks up from her book and smiles and waves when she sees them. Chad props up on his elbow and grins at them, before laying back down enjoying the sun. Chris and Steve are pretty much occupied with themselves so they don’t really acknowledge Jensen or Jared.

Jensen puts his towel next to Mike on the sand and Jared does the same. They sit down and Mike smiles.

“Hey, Jared. Did you find some free time in your agenda to visit the lower people?” He’s grinning and Jared smiles back.

He nods. “Yeah, I thought I’ll have a look to see how it goes at the end of the food-chain.”

Mike laughs and then leans over Jensen and punches Jared’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here, man.”

Jared grins. “So, where is Tom?”

Mike smiles slightly. “He’s coming. He just has to finish a phone call to his mom. That woman can talk, I tell you.”

“So, you two worked it out then?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah, hopefully,” Mike snorts. “Tom explained that he’s sorry for working so much and that from now on he’ll try and be better. I guess that’s all I can ask for. I mean, I know I married a workaholic so I’ll take what I can get, y’know.”

“Good for you, Mike,” Jensen says sympathetically before turning to Jared. “So Jay, you ready to go for a swim?” He pulls off his t-shirt and Jared goes mute.

Not once in his short life has he seen such beauty. Jensen’s tanned skin shimmers in the golden sun and all Jared wants to do is draw him, to hold onto the image even when they have to say goodbye. Well, and kiss him of course, but that’s a different story. Jensen climbs out of his shorts and suddenly is only wearing his trunks. He winks at Jared and runs off towards the water. Jared’s mouth goes dry and his dick is hard and he’s not sure which way is up or down.

This is definitely not the board shorts Jensen wore that first morning. No, this is… Jared shakes his head to clear it and maybe get a better image. This… fabric clings to Jensen’s ass almost in an obscene way and Jared wants to die. Well, maybe he already did and is in heaven now.

“Here,” Mike hands him a tissue and Jared frowns. “To wipe away the drool, dude.” Suddenly Jared’s cheeks are burning hot and Mike laughs. “Y’know, he will come and get you if you don’t get your ass down there.” Jared desperately looks around for an escape. “Just leave your shorts on. Tell him you forget to put on your trunks. It’s fine, Jared,” Mike’s voice is soft and understandingly.

“Thanks,” he whispers and Mike slaps his shoulder encouragingly.

Finally, Jared pulls off his t-shirt. He feels naked already, but he follows Mike’s advice and actually leaves on his shorts, then he sprints into the lake. Jensen is waiting for him with a big splash of chilly water. He splutters a little, but gives back as good as he just got. This is fun. Jensen laughs and pulls him out on the lake.

They drift next to each other on the surface, when Jensen suddenly straightens up. He looks at Jared with unreadable eyes and Jared has to straighten up too, so he can hear what Jensen has to say.

“I don’t know why your husband didn’t take you with him to Europe, but I’m glad he didn’t.” Jensen smiles softly and a warm feeling spreads in Jared’s body.

“Me too,” he answers and he so means it. Paul couldn’t have been more right to send him here, even if he will never see it that way. “Me too.”

 

  
  
 

  
When they finally come out of the water, Jensen sees that Tom is rubbing sun lotion into Mike’s back. He at least kept his promise and Jensen smiles. It’s obvious how much they love each other even though Tom has trouble showing it.

Alona, Misha and Milo have joined the others on the beach and Milo lets his eyes roam over Jared’s body appreciatively. Jensen feels his blood starting to boil in his veins and he wants to cover Jared up, for only him to see. He knows he’s being unreasonable. Jared isn’t his and won’t ever be. He’s still married to another man. But the way Milo looks the young man up and down keeps the jealousy burning in Jensen’s veins.

Jared towels off before putting the towel back on the ground and dropping on it. He lies back and closes his eyes. He seems completely unaware of the picture he makes, all lean and lightly tanned body. Jensen’s mouth goes dry and he feels his dick stir in his shorts. He can only hope that nobody notices. He hasn’t so much luck. Misha is grinning knowingly at Jensen.

Jensen drops on his towel as well and hides his hard-on lying down on his belly. He turns his face to look at Jared and sees the young man watching him.

“You need help with the lotion?” He asks innocently and Jensen knows Jared doesn’t even think anything about offering his help. He groans, but nods and soon Jared’s hands are rubbing the lotion into his back. Feeling Jared’s broad hands smoothing over his back doesn’t help one bit with getting rid of his hard-on.

Jared lies back down when he’s finished and smiles at Jensen. “There. All done.”

“Thanks, Jay,” Jensen croaks and he hears Misha and Milo bursting out laughing. Jared looks at them puzzled, but Alona tells him to ignore them, they’re being stupid. But Jensen knows exactly what they’re thinking.

 

  
  
 

  
Jared is sitting at the lake. The sun is almost down, but right now it’s still light enough to enjoy the scenery. His sketchbook lies open on his knees and his pencil scraps over the smooth paper. He’s sitting at the same spot he and Jensen spoke for the first time three weeks ago and where they’ve met each night since then. He’s drawing a picture of them on that first day.

Jensen with his light green shirt and those amazing deep, green eyes, his spiky hair and the kind, encouraging smile and Jared with his too long bangs falling into his eyes, his nose too big and his arms and legs too skinny and lanky. It’s a contrast that makes Jared’s heart ache. He wishes he could be a little like Jensen, go after what he wants and stand up for it. But he can’t. He isn’t anything like Jensen and yet they somehow became friends over the last weeks.

If it weren’t for Chad, Jared would even say they became best friends in just a couple of weeks. With Jensen he feels a connection. He feels as if he could tell him everything, talk about everything. Jared never had the feeling before, not even with Chad.

A hand falls onto his shoulder and he winces frightened. But when he turns around, he sees Jensen standing there in light khaki pants and a dark shirt, hugging his body in a way that makes heat pool in Jared’s belly.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Jensen sits down next to Jared on the soft grass and Jared hugs his sketchbook to his chest so Jensen can’t see what he has been drawing. He had shown Jensen a few of his drawings of the scenery at the ranch, or of Chad, or one of the other people here, but never has Jensen seen a picture that Jared drew of him.

“It’s okay. I’m just jumpy,” Jared excuses and a shadow falls over Jensen’s face. It happens whenever Jared apologizes for something Jensen thinks Jared shouldn’t apologize for. But Jared can’t stop. It was ingrained in him since he was a little boy.

Jensen sighs but lets it go. “So how was your day today?”

Jared’s eyes light up and he puts his sketchbook aside. He isn’t used to being asked how his day was and Jensen seems genuinely interested. “It was great. After breakfast this morning, I went with Alona to take care of the horses and then she even took me on a short ride. I think I’m really getting better, y’know. I didn’t fall off this time.” Jensen chuckles but doesn’t interrupt Jared, so the younger man continues, “And then, Sam asked if I wanted to bake cookies with her. And we made a whole lot of chocolate chip cookies and she even let me try the dough.” Jared stops suddenly and slaps his hand across his mouth. Damn, he hates that he rambles when he’s excited.

There is a fond smile on Jensen face and Jared feels his cheeks heating up. He lowers his head and his bangs fall into his eyes. But then Jensen’s hand is there and pushes his hair back behind his ear and Jared’s skin is burning where Jensen’s fingertips touched it.

“You don’t have to stop. I like hearing you talk.” Jensen voice is soft and deep and feels like a caress.

“I-I… Paul…,” Jared takes a deep breath, but he’s still avoiding Jensen’s eyes. “He never likes when I talk. He says if you don’t have anything important to say you shouldn’t say anything at all.”

“Jay…”

Jared likes the way his nickname rolls off Jensen’s tongue and warmth spreads in his body every time he hears it. Jensen puts a finger under Jared’s chin to force him to look at Jensen. When Jared finally meets Jensen’s eyes, they’re dark with emotions and Jared feels as if Jensen could look directly into his soul. It’s intense and he wants to cover himself up, wants to tell Jensen that he’s not worth it. He never was.

“Jared,” Jensen continues, “I don’t know your husband. But for me everything you say is important.”

Tears are burning behind Jared’s eyes because Jensen sounds so damn serious, as if he’s really meaning what he’s saying. Jared wants to believe it; he’s so desperate to believe it. Jensen’s thumb wipes over the wetness on Jared’s cheeks and Jared grabs Jensen’s hand.

“Thank you.” His voice is full of desperation and he hopes that Jensen will understand what all of this means to him. “Really Jen, thank you. No one ever was really interested in me, except for Chad. You don’t know what this means to me.”

“God, Jay,” Jensen breathes and then his lips are on Jared’s, full and soft and oh so sweet.

It’s gentle and careful and Jared feels on fire. He’s never felt anything like this. With Paul it’s always rough and fast and only about Paul’s satisfaction never Jared’s. Paul doesn’t like kissing; he thinks it’s a waste of time. But this right now it feels like Jensen wants Jared to enjoy this, to feel how good it can be. Leaning into the kiss, he opens his mouth when Jensen’s tongue sweeps over his bottom lip. Their tongues touch and fireworks explode in Jared’s body. He’s achingly hard. His skin feels too tight and it’s just not enough.

Jensen’s hands entangle in his hair and pull him closer to Jensen’s chest. Jared moans, his hands gripping onto Jensen’s biceps. Jensen’s tongue maps out his mouth and Jared’s feels as if he’s losing control and all he can do is hold on to Jensen.

When Jensen breaks the kiss, Jared’s heart is beating a mile a minute and he’s panting. He’s just glad that he’s still sitting on the grass because his legs wouldn’t able to hold him right now. He looks at Jensen, the other man’s eyes are dark with lust and his lips are swollen. The only thing Jared wants to do right now is kiss him again.

“Tell me to stop, Jay. You have to tell me to stop. Please,” Jensen whispers, but his hands are still tangled in Jared’s hair and Jared doesn’t think Jensen means what he’s asking for. He’s no expert, but the way Jensen is still holding him and the way he is looking at him, tells him that Jensen doesn’t want to stop. And neither does Jared.

So he shakes his head and this time it’s Jared who initiates the kiss. He bites gently at Jensen’s bottom lip until he gets a heated moan out of the older man. When Jensen opens his mouth to let Jared in, he sweeps his tongue into Jensen’s mouth to map out all the places that will make the other man moan. Jensen tastes of coffee, the chocolate cake they had for dessert and something uniquely Jensen. It makes Jared’s head spin and he needs more.

Jensen’s hands are now running up and down Jared’s body. They press Jared down against the soft ground and then Jensen is above him, pushing his hands under Jared’s shirt. The cool fingers on Jared’s heated skin cause goose bumps on his body. He shivers slightly, before fumbling with Jensen’s shirt to feel his skin under his fingertips.

Jensen pulls of his shirt and helps Jared lose his. He looks at Jared with heated eyes and Jared squirms to get away from Jensen’s intense gaze. He feels vulnerable, lying here like this for Jensen to see.

“Don’t Jay,” Jensen pleads quietly. “You’re so damn beautiful. I wanna look at you.”

Jared stops and Jensen looks him up and down, slowly tracing muscles with his fingertips. When he gets to Jared’s nipples he rubs over them with his thumb and Jared moans. He never thought that something so simple could make he feel like this. Jensen rubs and twists and Jared is losing his mind.

“Jen, please…”

Paul doesn’t like it when Jared talks in bed, but Jared can’t hold back and Jensen doesn’t seem to mind. He grins down at Jared and asks, “What, Jay? Tell me what you want.”

“More, please, more.” Jared doesn’t know what exactly he’s asking for. He just knows that he needs something, needs more.

“It’s okay, Jay. I’ll take care of you. I’ve got you.”

Jensen starts to trail wet kisses down Jared’s neck, while his hand works open Jared’s fly. When Jensen’s hand touches Jared’s dick Jared arches of the ground. Fingers grip his cock and start to jerk him slow, too slow. He never had something like that done to him and it feels amazing. It feels completely different from when he himself jerked off the few times. Jensen continues sucking at his neck and the double sensation brings Jared closer to the edge.

Jensen rubs his crotch against Jared’s hip and he can feel how hard the other man is. He can’t really believe that he is doing this to Jensen, that Jensen is hard because of him. When Jared comes, he sinks his fingers into Jensen’s back holding on tight. The pleasure that rips through him is something he never experienced before.

When he opens his eyes again, Jensen is looking at him with dark eyes and Jared panics. Oh god, Jensen didn’t come. Jared did, but Jensen didn’t and now he’s angry with him. Jared starts to reach for Jensen’s fly, but Jensen grabs his wrist to stop him.

“Jen?” Jared asks carefully.

Jensen touches Jared’s cheek gently. “It’s okay, Jay. I already came.”

Jared’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh.”

Jensen chuckles. “We should go and get ourselves cleaned up. It’s kinda sticky in here.” He points at his pants and Jared laughs.

“Yeah, okay.”

They put on their shirts again and Jensen pulls him up from the ground. Walking together in silence, Jared watches Jensen out of the corner of his eye. The other man seems deep in thought and Paul always gets mad when Jared disturbs him, when he’s thinking, so Jared doesn’t say anything until they have to part ways.

Jared wants to kiss Jensen again, feel the other man’s lips on his just once more. He knows he should feel guilty. He’s married for god’s sake. But he can’t. He can’t feel guilty when something feels so damn right. Nothing ever felt this right before and he refuses to let the guilt take the feeling away. Jared bites his bottom lip nervously and Jensen smoothes his thumb over it.

“Night, Jay.”

He wants to say ‘stop’ or ‘wait’ or ‘I wanna kiss you one more time’, but he doesn’t. He nods and says, “Night, Jen. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jensen nods, gives Jared a small smile and walks down the path to his cabin. Jared watches after him until the door to the cabin closes. He shivers in the chill of the nightly air and forces himself to walk to his own cabin, instead of running down to Jensen’s and telling him things he will never be able to take back.

 

  
  
 

  
Jensen leans against the cold tiles in the shower. The water is washing away the last evidences of what he just did with Jared, with sweet, innocent, married Jared. He bumps his head against the wall. How could he have been so stupid? What the hell was he thinking kissing Jared? Honestly, he’s been thinking about kissing Jared for the last three weeks, ever since that first night they spoke, or more he spoke and Jared looked at him with his big, innocent hazel eyes.

But that doesn’t mean he should’ve given into the temptation. Just because Jared pushed every button Jensen ever had without even knowing it. The kid doesn’t know what he’s doing to Jensen, how he is affecting the older man. When Jared thanked him for asking how his day was and looked at him with the puppy-dog-eyes of doom, Jensen just had to kiss him. And Jared? He didn’t even stop him. He begged Jensen for more.

Just thinking about it makes Jensen hard again. The image of Jared coming, with his back bowed and his mouth open will forever be ingrained in his brain. Jensen hadn’t come in his pants since he was a teenager, but seeing Jared, watching him fall apart beneath Jensen’s hands, was all he needed to have one of the best orgasms in his life.

Now, his cock is begging to be touched again and Jensen runs his hand down his chest until he can wrap his hand around his aching dick. He jerks himself hard and fast and thinks about what it would be like to be buried in Jared’s heat. He loses it quickly. Damn, he’s so screwed.

After he cleans himself of the last remainders of his two orgasms, he climbs out of the shower, towels off and tucks the towel around his hips. Once in his room he pulls on his sleeping pants and shirt and finally walks into the living room to enjoy a last beer before he goes to sleep.

Chris is sitting on their terrace. He hadn’t been here when Jensen came back to the cabin half an hour ago. Jensen drops on a chair next to his friend. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Jensen breaks it.

“I kinda had sex with Jared,” he says sheepishly, waiting for Chris to kick his ass. Because let’s face it, he deserves it.

His friend spins around. His mouth is dropped in shock and Jensen can’t remember a time when Chris was speechless.

“You what? Tell me you’re fucking kidding me.”

Jensen shakes his head. “No. I gave him a hand-job and rubbed off on him,” he explains quietly.

Chris jumps up to pace around the deck. “Great, Jen. That’s just fucking great. Haven’t we talked about this? We talked about this, Jen.”

Jensen puts his elbows on his knees, resting his head in his hands and grips his hair before he replies, “I know, Chris. Okay. It just happened.”

“What? You went down there, stumbled and suddenly your hand was in his pants? Damn it, Jensen. The kid is married. He may only be twenty and his husband may be an asshole. But he is still married. You don’t go around fucking married guys, Jensen.”

“I know. Okay. I know that, Chris and I didn’t fuck him.”

“Yeah, well you wanted to, didn’t you?”

Jensen doesn’t reply and he knows it will be enough for Chris to know the truth. Chris takes a sip of his beer and resumes pacing up and down, back and forth. It’s making Jensen crazy.

“Now what, Jen? What do you wanna do? You want to keep fucking him until he returns to his husband and you return to a life where some fucked-in-the-head mafia boss wants your head on a stick? What, Jensen?”

“I don’t know okay.” Jensen jumps up and yells back, “I don’t fucking know.”

Chris looks at him with wide eyes and Jensen squirms under his friend’s gaze. Chris looks like he is trying to figure something out and Jensen doesn’t want to know, doesn’t even want to admit to himself what he’s seeing on his friend’s face.

“You’re falling for him,” Chris’ sounds stunned. “You’re falling in love with this kid.”

Suddenly all fight is drained out of Jensen and he falls back into his chair. Chris said it aloud and now that it’s out, Jensen can’t find the strength to deny it, not even to himself.

“Shit, Jen.”

“What do I do, Chris?” Jensen asks helplessly. “I don’t know what to do. Jared, he this amazing person, he’s kind and funny, he has a big heart and the most amazing smile. And he’s an amazing artist. I just… I don’t know what to do.”

Chris sits down next to Jensen and lays a supporting hand on his shoulder. “He’s also married, Jensen, even if his husband is a jerk. You can’t go on like this. Be his friend for the time being, but you can’t keep making out with him.”

Jensen nods. He knows that Chris is right. He can’t keep going on like this. It’s not fair to Jared. Even if it hurts like hell, he has to stay on the friendship side of their relationship.

 

  
  
 

  
Two days later, Jensen has managed to avoid being alone with Jared ever since they said goodnight that night. He hasn’t been to the lake for the last two nights and he misses Jared and their quiet time like nothing else. He desperately wants to talk to Jared, but he keeps his distance. He has to, otherwise what happened that night at the lake will probably repeat itself and Jensen just can’t let that happen.

When they happen to meet at breakfast or dinner, Jensen stays clear of mentioning anything that happened between them. They talk about random stuff, like how the hiking trip went Chris, Steve and Jensen did yesterday or how the horseback riding is going for Jared. Jensen makes sure that they are never alone.

It hurts Jared, Jensen can see it in the way the younger man is pulling away again, hiding his face and avoiding Jensen’s gaze. And when he sometimes looks at Jensen, the older man sees hurt and uncertainty in Jared’s beautiful hazel-gold eyes. Jensen feels like the biggest jerk, but he doesn’t know what else to do to keep himself from jumping Jared.

Right now Jensen is lying on the couch in the living room of their cabin, avoiding Jared and every other person on the ranch. He has received angry looks from about everybody for his behavior. Alona and Sophia won’t even talk to him anymore. Mike asked him yesterday if he and Jared had a fight and when Jensen shook his head, Mike asked him to stop being a jerk then and talk to Jared.

Jensen had been able to avoid any angry rants by Misha or Milo, but he should have known better then to avoid Chris, when the cabin door opens.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Jensen shrugs. “Nothing. I wanted to read a book,” he points to the one in his lap, “but it’s crap.”

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Chris slaps Jensen’s feet off the couch and drops down. “You can’t avoid him forever. And besides, have you looked at him. The kid is a wreck. Get yourself together and go talk to him. At least explain why you’re acting like the biggest asshole.”

Jensen sighs. “You told me to back off and that’s what I did.”

“Oh no,” Chris shakes his head, “you won’t dump that on me. I told you not to fuck him, not that you shouldn’t talk to him anymore.”

Jensen sits up and rests his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know what to do, Chris. Every time I see him I… I want to…”

Chris holds his hand up. “Yeah, I get it.” He sighs. “Jen, you are my best friend and we’ve been through a lot together. But maybe I was wrong this time. Maybe…,” Chris swallows hard and Jensen’s eyes widen at what his best friend’s implicating, “maybe you should go after it.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Jared is married. I can’t go after him.”

“Well,” Chris squirms, “clearly you were making him happy. Have you looked at him in the last two days? He’s running around as if his puppy just died. When he was with you, at least he was happy.” Chris sighs. “You were happy, too, Jen. I’ve never seen you like this before. You were practically beaming whenever someone mentioned Jared’s name.” He gives Jensen a concerned look, “The thing is I don’t want you to get hurt, when he goes back to his husband.”

“Hold on a second.” Jensen stands up and paces through the room. “Did I get that right? You just told me to keep going after him so he could be happy again?”

“No,” Chris says quickly. “I told you to be at least his friend, Jen. Look, I talked to Steve and he made me see what a difference you made with Jared, that you got him to come out of his shell. We can’t let him get inside his own head again. You’re good for him and he’s good for you. You don’t have to fuck him or anything, but talk to him. Be his friend again. He needs you.”

Jensen leans against the wall and bumps his head against it in an attempt to forget about all of the shit that is going on lately. “Argh, I can’t…. Damn it, Chris. I don’t know what to do.”

Chris nods and gives him a sad smile. “Well, whatever you decide. Go talk to the kid.” When Jensen nods, he adds, “He’s at the back paddock.”

Rushing out of the cabin he yells a short ‘Thanks’ back to Chris and then he’s on his way to find Jared. He knows he can’t get in a sexual relationship with Jared, but he can at least be Jared’s friend.

 

  
  
 

  
Misha looks at Jared with sympathetic eyes. That kid is a wreck. He has dark circles beneath his eyes and he’s even shyer then he was when he first got here. He won’t talk and he can barely concentrate on the yoga exercises Misha shows him and Sophia.

Sophia shoots Jared concerned looks throughout the whole yoga lesson, but when Misha hears her asking Jared if he had a fight with Jensen, Jared just bites his bottom lip and shakes his head. He doesn’t say anything about what happened between him and Jensen. But it’s obvious that something did.

Over the last weeks those two became pretty close and Misha had seen them sitting at the lake on more than one night. So Misha knows something happened between them because honestly, Jared might look like hell, but Jensen doesn’t look one bit better. Misha just doesn’t know what exactly.

He hopes that they will work it out again because he’d hate to see Jared retreat into his shell again. The young man had been doing so well over the last weeks, finally relaxing around the other people at the ranch. Right now though, it seems as if Jared locked himself away again.

When the lesson is over, Jared rushes out of the room without a ‘goodbye’ and Misha and Sophia share a worried look.

“I’m gonna kill Jensen,” Sophia mutters under her breath before waving at Misha and walking out of the room as well.

 

  
  
 

  
Jared makes his way over to the paddock, his second favorite spot of the entire ranch. His favorite spot is the place at the lake where he talked to Jensen for the first time, but it’s full of memories he doesn’t want to think about. Besides, Alona asked him if he could make some drawings of the horses to put up in the lobby.

Currently Luna and Shadow are the only two horses in the paddock. The others are out with a few of the other guests. Shadow had really shown progress over the last weeks. He always eats sugar out of Jared’s hand now, and he is even comfortable with Luna in the same paddock. Sometimes he even lets Jared touch him while he steals the sugar cubes out of Jared’s hand.

The pencil in Jared’s hand hovers over his sketchbook, but he doesn’t start drawing. His thoughts are far away, clinging to the night Jensen made him feel something so beautiful and true, that Jared still can’t forget about it.

Whenever he wanted to talk to Jensen about what happened between them the older man was never alone. It felt a lot like Jensen was avoiding him and it hurt. Jared can’t imagine what he had done to push Jensen away. Maybe he hadn’t been good enough. Maybe Jensen thought he was a loser when it comes to sex. Well, he is. He doesn’t know anything about sex. All Paul ever did to him is fucking Jared’s ass and mouth. That’s how Paul gets off. How would Jared know how to please Jensen?

He’s so damn worthless and he can’t do anything right, not even pleasing Jensen. Jensen might even have lied to him about coming in his pants. It was almost dark so Jared wouldn’t have seen the proof. Maybe Jensen just wanted to be nice that evening and now he had decided that Jared was really horrible and wasn’t worth keeping around.

Tears are slowly running down his cheek and Jared rubs them away angrily. He doesn’t want to cry every time he’s hurting. He wants to punch something or yell or scream, but he can’t because he’s weak and pathetic and a nothing.

“Jared, hey.”

He looks towards the stables and sees Alona walking over to where he’s sitting. She’s sporting a huge smile, which falls away when she realizes that he’s been crying.

“Jared, what happened? Why are you crying?” Alona kneels down in front of him and wipes away the wetness on his cheeks.

Jared shakes his head. “Nothing. I’m just being pathetic.”

“Stop it!” Alona says angrily. “You’re not pathetic. Stop putting yourself down.”

“But it’s true, Al.” Jared shrugs miserably. “I thought I could have something, but I can’t. I’m weak.”

Alona grabs his biceps. “Look at me.” When Jared keeps his eyes on the ground, she repeats with more force. “Look at me, Jared.” He slowly lifts his head and looks into Alona’s sympathetic eyes. “I’m gonna tell you something and you are gonna listen to me.” He nods because she will tell him, even if he doesn’t want to hear it. “When you want something, you have to go for it. You go after it and you don’t just give up, because it’s too hard or too difficult. You keep trying and fighting and then in the end if you still don’t get what you want you can at least look back and say you fought for it.”

“I can’t.” Jared’s voice is barely a whisper.

“Yes you can and you will. Now go and fight for what you want. Tell him if he doesn’t want you he’s an idiot.”

Jared’s head jerks up. “How do you know?”

Alona gives him a small smile. “I have eyes. Ever since you met him, you’re completely different. He makes you laugh and smile. You look really happy whenever I see you with him. And Jared, Jensen looks just the same. Now go and get your man.”

Jared smiles hopefully. “You really think…”

“Yes, Jared. He likes you too. Now go.”

Alona pulls him off the ground and pushes him into the direction of the cabins. Jared finds courage in the way Alona is telling him to go after what he wants.

 

  
  
 

  
Jensen is walking towards the paddock when he sees Jared rushing his way with his sketchbook tucked under his arm. The younger man breaks into a smile when he sees Jensen and Jensen can’t keep himself from smiling back.

“Hey,” Jared says, still panting when they finally are only two feet away. He’s smiling with his dimples on full force and Jensen can’t look away from the sight Jared makes.

“Hey,” Jensen replies quietly.

“I wanted to talk to you.” Jared rocks back on his heels and Jensen can’t tell if it is because Jared is excited or nervous. Knowing the kid, it’s probably both.

“Yeah?” He asks.

“Uh-hu,” Jared nods. “I wanted… I just…” Jared is blushing and Jensen feels a shiver run down his spine at the sight. Blushing Jared is the most adorable sight Jensen’s ever seen in his whole life and it’s turning him on like nothing else. “Oh, what the hell…” Jared takes a deep breath and leans forward, smashing his lips to Jensen’s and the sketchbook falls to the ground with a soft thud.

At first, Jensen is shocked because he never heard Jared curse before and then he’s shocked to feel the other man’s lips on his. They’re soft and warm and just like he remembers them. Jared pushes his tongue into Jensen’s mouth and Jared tastes like chocolate and candy and something that is entirely Jared.

They’re standing in the middle of the ranch under broad sunshine and kissing for everybody to see. Jared’s hands rest on Jensen’s hips and Jensen wants to bury his hands in Jared’s long, soft hair, but he doesn’t. Instead he puts his hands on Jared’s shoulders and pushes him away.

When they finally break apart, Jared looks flushed, with red, swollen lips. But there is also hurt and uncertainty in his eyes.

“Jay, what are you doing?” Jensen asks a little out of breath.

“I’m going after what I want. You told me that if I wanted to do something I should just do it. And Alona told me basically the same. And that’s what I’m doing. I wanted to kiss you, so I did.”

Jensen gives him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, but we can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Jared actually pouts and Jensen would laugh if he wasn’t so damn close to tears.

“Because you’re married, Jay. And I don’t want to be the reason why you cheat on your husband.”

Jared straightens up a little, but a hurt look is still displayed on his face. “Is that all? Or is it because I’m not good enough in bed?” Jared’s cheeks are burning and Jensen is shocked when he hears what comes out of Jared’s mouth.

“What?” he asks horrified. “No!” He grabs both of Jared’s arms. “You were amazing that night. You hear me. You. Were. Amazing.”

Jared sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. “But you don’t want me.” A tear rolls down his cheek and he turns his head away from Jensen.

Jensen’s heart breaks at the sight and he wishes to get just five minutes with Jared’s husband when they get back to LA. He’s so going to kick this guy’s ass from here to Sunday. He lifts his hand and wipes away the tears that are running down the other man’s face.

“I want you, Jay. So much. But I can’t. I refuse to be the guy that makes you a cheater.”

Jensen would have never expected to hear what Jared says next. “Please. You make me feel, Jen. For the first time in my life you make me feel. That night at the lake, nobody had ever touched or kissed me the way you did. Please, Jensen, just please.”

It would be the best to leave right now, Jensen knows that. But he stays and his heart breaks a little more with every word that leaves Jared’s mouth. He wants Jared in every way possible. He wants to take him out and show him the world. He wants to show him how good it can be between two people. He wants to go to sleep and wake up next to Jared. He just wants Jared and he wants him for the rest of his life.

“I need you, Jen.” Jensen heads snaps up from where he was looking at the ground. “I need you, Jensen.” And then Jensen does the only thing that makes sense right now and will probably get him his heart broken. He grabs Jared and pulls him into his arms.

“I’m right here, Jay. I’m here.” Jared buries his face in to Jensen’s neck and his fingers cling to Jensen’s t-shirt.

“Please don’t leave me. Please, I promise I’ll be good.”

Jensen pulls back and cups Jared’s face between his hands. His thumb comes up resting over Jared’s lips to stop him from saying anything more.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna leave you,” and Jensen means it. He will be here for Jared for as long as the younger man wants him to be.

He gently rubs his thumbs over Jared cheekbones and leans in for a simple kiss. It’s sweet and gentle and it feels like a promise. At that very moment Jensen is sure that it is the right thing to do. When Jared goes back to his husband, Jensen will deal with the fallout. But right now, Jared needs him and Jensen is willing to pay the price.


	6. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 5/9+Epilogue

  
  
 

  


Jensen leads Jared down to his cabin. The younger man is still crying and Jensen has his arms around Jared’s shoulders. He ushers him inside the cabin and is glad that it’s already after lunch and Jared won’t have to talk to Paul today anymore.

  


They sit down on the bed and Jensen cups Jared’s tearstained face gently, wiping away the younger man’s tears with his thumbs. It breaks his heart to see Jared like this, knowing that he has been the reason that Jared is crying.

  


“Shh baby,” he soothes. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” He presses a gently kiss to Jared’s temple and pulls the younger man into his arms. Jared’s hands are still clinging to his t-shirt and Jared buries his head in the crook of Jensen’s neck, still sobbing frantically.

  


Jensen is at a complete loss as to what to do so he pulls Jared down with him so they can lie on the bed in a more comfortable position. That however, turns out to be a completely wrong move because Jared tenses in his arms, before pulling free and taking off his t-shirt. Not that Jensen doesn’t appreciate the view, Jared is gorgeous. His skin is soft and smooth and Jensen can see the muscles moving beneath it. His dick seems to appreciate the view too, because it’s definitely asking for attention. But sex is the last thing on Jensen’s mind right now.

  


“What are you doing?” Jensen asks softly and Jared blushes.

  


The younger man stopped crying the moment he pulled of his shirt, but his eyes still look wet. There is fear flickering through them, but also something that looks a lot like determination.

  


“I thought you maybe… wanted… to have sex with me,” Jared stutters with bright red cheeks. And Jensen’s heart breaks even more. He is so going to kick Paul’s ass when he gets back to LA.

  


“Jay,” he sighs and presses his forehead against Jared’s. Jensen runs his hands up and down Jared’s sides. “I wanna have sex with you. I really do. But not like this.”

  


Jared pulls back, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth self-consciously. “Why?” He asks and really doesn’t seem to know why Jensen would say ‘no’ to him.

  


“Well,” Jensen smiles. “First of all, you’re pretty upset right now and we’re both not in the right place to have sex. Second, I may want to sleep with you but I want you to want to sleep with me too.” Jared continues chewing on his bottom lip and there are tears shimmering in his eyes again. Jensen strokes Jared’s cheek with his fingertips and kisses him gently, without pressure. “I want you to want me too, Jay.”

  


“I don’t like sex,” Jared practically blurts out and pulls back from Jensen’s touch embarrassed. He hides his face in his hands and Jensen can tell he’s crying again. Jensen sighs and crawls to the headboard of the bed, leaning against it. He runs his fingers over one of Jared’s wrist before he curls them around it and tugs. Jared comes hesitantly, still avoiding Jensen’s eyes. The older man pulls Jared towards him, until he’s lying snug against Jensen’s side and can lie his head on Jensen’s chest.

  


“Jay, baby, you wanna tell me why you don’t like sex?” Jensen asks carefully, fully aware that he might not like the answer.

  


Jared shrugs. His hand comes lying on Jensen’s stomach and he starts playing with the hem of Jensen’s t-shirt nervously.

  


“It hurts,” Jared whispers and Jensen wants to punch something. He can’t really believe what he’s hearing and he wants to inflict pain on the person that made Jared think that sex has to hurt. Jensen tightens his arms around Jared. He presses a soft kiss to Jared’s hair.

  


“Jay,” Jensen starts quietly, searching for words to tell Jared that it doesn’t have to hurt without pressuring Jared into doing it right now, but Jared beats him to it.

  


“I would let you though. I would let you have sex with me, Jen,” Jared says quietly.

  


Anger starts to burn in the pit of Jensen’s stomach, not at Jared, but at the people who made him think so little of himself that he would let Jensen hurt him. He cups Jared’s jaw and gently turns Jared’s face towards him.

  


“I would never hurt you, Jay. Never.” Jared lowers his head and nods, like he wants to believe Jensen, but isn’t quite sure how to do that. “Jared,” he says firmly and Jared’s head snaps up again, “I swear, when we have sex it’ll be amazing for the both of us. It doesn’t have to hurt. You remember the hand-job I gave you?” Jared blushes, but nods. “Did it hurt?”

  


“No,” Jared shakes his head frantically. “No, it was amazing.”

  


Jensen gives him a bright smile. “See, and there are so many other things.”

  


“Nobody ever did something like this to me before.”

  


Jensen’s smile dims a little, but there is also a part of him that is thrilled that it’s him who gets to show Jared how good it can be between two guys. He pushes a strand of Jared’s hair behind his ear and kisses the younger man gently. Jared’s lips are soft beneath his own and the younger man opens up to Jensen eagerly. The older man runs his tongue over Jared’s bottom lip before pushing into the younger man’s mouth.

  


Jared’s finger dig hard into Jensen’s biceps and the older man pulls back a little, sucking Jared’s bottom lip into his mouth in the process. When they break apart, Jared looks flushed and he’s smiling brightly, dimples and all. Jensen smiles back. He lies down on the bed again and pulls Jared down to him so his head is placed once again on Jensen’s chest.

  


“Let’s just lie here for now. We’ve got time for everything else.”

  


Jared sighs and nods. Jensen runs his fingers through Jared’s hair, weaving the long strands around them and he thinks that he’d be happy doing this for the rest of his life.

  
  
 

  


Jared wakes feeling safe and loved. It’s a completely new feeling and it throws him a little, until he realizes that he’s lying on his bed in the cabin and Jensen is the one holding him, providing the basis for Jared to feel safe for the first time in his life. Jared takes a deep breath and buries his nose in the crook on Jensen’s neck.

  


The older man is sleeping peacefully and Jared smiles against the soft skin of Jensen’s neck. This is how it’s supposed to be. This is how he should wake up every morning, next to the man who makes all these new feelings of hope, lust and love burn in Jared’s veins. God he’s falling in love; falling in love with the amazing man who gave Jared something to believe in for the first time in his life.

  


Jared knows nothing about love. He’s never been in love, but if the butterflies in his stomach, whenever he thinks about Jensen, indicate anything, then Jared is sure that he’s in love. It’s an amazing feeling and Jared wants to scream it from the rooftops and hug the whole world.

  


However, in the back of his head he hears his dad telling him that he’s not worth loving. What if Jensen doesn’t love him back? Tears start to burn behind his eyes because it’s so easy for everything to go rotten. Besides, Jared is still married. Suddenly, his wedding ring is too heavy and he pulls it off of his ring finger. He sits up and turns away from Jensen.

  


For the first time in his life Jared wants. He wants what they’re talking about in the romance novels he read and movies he watched when Paul hadn’t been at home. He wants a home where he feels welcome and can come and go like he wants, not his gilded cage. Above all he wants to love and be loved in return like he deserves it.

  


He wants to believe Jensen when the older man tells him that there is more to sex than hurt and possession. But how could Jared believe that when all he has experienced so far is sex with Paul. He has never even kissed somebody else than Paul and now Jensen. Jared looks down at the wedding ring lying heavily in his palm and then he throws it across the room. It hits the floor with a quiet clang.

  


“Jay?” Jensen asks sleepily.

  


Jared doesn’t face Jensen, but he feels the older man’s eyes on him. He keeps his eyes on his hand and watches his fingers curl into a fist. He decides there and then that all this has to stop and the first step is to tell Jensen everything.

  


“Jared?”

  


He feels Jensen roll over to where he’s sitting at the edge of the bed and then Jensen’s arms are around him, pulling him back against Jensen’s firm chest. Jared closes his eyes and swallows the tears that still threaten to run down his cheeks. For once he’s going to be strong. A small voice in his head asks, ‘What if Jensen will leave? What if he will think you are pathetic and a loser? What if…?’. But Jared doesn’t want to think about ‘what if’s’.

  


“I don’t love Paul. I never did,” he says calmly and it’s amazing how much weight is taken of his shoulders with just this little honest sentence. Jensen stays silent, but he buries his nose in the crook of Jared’s neck and peppers it with small, encouraging kisses. “I never wanted to marry him. My dad and Paul… they forced me into it.” Jensen tenses but the kisses never stop and now the tears Jared has been holding back so well start to fall.

  


“For all my life…,” Jared swallows hard, “…my dad… he hit me… told me that I’m… worthless… not worth loving. He practically…,” Jared sobs and Jensen’s arms tighten a little more, “sold me off to Paul. My own dad.”

  


“Shhh Jay,” Jensen whispers in his ear. “I’m here now. I’m not gonna let them hurt you anymore.”

  


Jared sobs. God how much he wants to believe that, believe in Jensen. “And Paul… he’s…,” a shudder runs through Jared’s body, “he doesn’t love me. He uses me. I have to clean the house and make dinner and serve his friends when he has business dinners.” Jared takes another deep breath. “And then… he takes me upstairs to fuck me.”

  


There, it’s out there now and Jared is trembling really hard. Jensen runs his hands over his bare chest and it helps to calm him down. The kisses to Jared’s neck never stopped and now Jensen is running his tongue over the spot where shoulder meets neck. When a shudder runs down his spine this time Jared knows it has all to do with Jensen’s hot tongue on his cold skin.

  


It feels amazing and he leans further back into Jensen’s embrace, turning his head a little to give the older man more space. Jensen pulls him back on the bed and Jared suddenly finds himself flat on his back and Jensen is lying beside him. He’s looking at Jared with intense green eyes full of emotion and unshed tears. His fingers brush through the tear stains on Jared’s cheeks and then he’s kissing them away. It’s such a sweet act that Jared’s heart aches for the older man and he buries his hands in Jensen’s short hair.

  


“Baby,” Jensen starts. His voice all raw by emotion and Jared shivers at the way Jensen calls him ‘baby’. It’s so damn sweet and full of love and Jared wants Jensen never to call him anything else. “You’re not worthless. You are amazing.” He emphasizes the statement with a soft kiss to Jared’s lips. “You are loving,” another kiss “and kind.” Kiss. “You are an amazing artist.” Kiss. And slowly Jensen makes his way down Jared’s chest. “You have the most amazing smile.” Kiss. “You are perfect.”

  


Jensen finally made his way to Jared’s bellybutton and dips his tongue inside and Jared arches his back from the sensation. “And I’m…” another kiss to Jared’s abs, “gonna show you exactly how much you’re worth.”

  


He pulls his shirt over his head and Jared moans. Jensen smirks and then helps Jared out of his shorts, before climbing out of his own. They’re both completely naked now and Jared feels his cheeks heat up. His cock is rock hard and he’s not used to people looking at him like this. Jensen smiles, his hard cock curling towards his belly and he’s so beautiful it almost takes Jared’s breath away. Then he’s crawling back on the bed and straddling Jared’s hips. He leans forward and their bare cocks are touching, brushing against each other when Jensen leans down to plant a sweet kiss on Jared’s mouth.

  


The sensation is amazing. It feels like his whole body is on fire and Jared is sure he’s going insane when Jensen doesn’t do something like right the fuck now.

  


“Jen, please,” he begs.

  


The older man smirks and pushes his tongue deep in Jared’s mouth, rubbing along Jared’s tongue and he moans. Jensen nibbles on Jared’s bottom lip and Jared runs his hands over Jensen’s smooth back, feeling the muscles move beneath his fingertips. Their cocks continue to brush against each other and Jared groans deep in his throat. It’s so damn good.

  


Jensen trails sucking kisses down his chest, rolling Jared’s nipples between his fingers and rubbing over them with his tongue and fireworks light in Jared’s body. Then, Jensen is lying between Jared’s legs, ghosting over Jared’s hard cock, licking at the crown and Jared snaps out of his lust-induced haze.

  


“No.”

  


Jensen’s head jerks up and he looks at Jared with questioningly eyes. “Jay?”

  


“I don’t wanna hurt you. Please, I couldn’t,” Jared pleads and tries to pull Jensen up to him again, but the older man refuses to come.

  


“Baby, I don’t know what it’s like for you to have sex with your husband, but I swear you’re not hurting me.” Jensen sounds so damn sincere. “I wanna blow you, Jay. I wanna make you feel so good.”

  


Jared looks down skeptical, but he trusts Jensen, trusts him to say the truth and that he won’t let Jared hurt him. So he nods and lays back. He’s gone from rock hard to half hard in the last minute and feels like he’s ruining their moment. But Jensen just goes back to licking Jared’s cock. He’s right, it feels good. It feels awesome really. And then Jensen takes him into his mouth and Jared is surrounded by wet heat that almost drives him out of his mind. He bucks up, but Jensen pins his hips down to the bed with his hands and Jared can’t move.

  


Slowly, Jensen bops up and down Jared’s cock and sucks him to full hardness again. Jared is squirming under Jensen’s hold. It’s so damn amazing; all his nerves are on fire, his skin too tight. He feels like Jensen is sucking his brain right out of his dick. He sinks his fingers into Jensen’s hair and tries to urge him on. Jensen chuckles a little and the vibrations make Jared moan.

  


Then there is a wet finger rubbing over his puckered hole and Jared tenses a little. But then he thinks that this is Jensen and relaxes. Jensen presses his finger inside. It doesn’t hurt, the spit easing the way. It feels so completely different from when Paul fucks him. Jensen pulls his finger almost completely out, before pushing in again and soon Jared is writhing beneath him. He doesn’t know what’s better, the sweet suction around his dick or the finger in his ass.

  


Jensen hits a spot inside of him and Jared almost bucks of the bed. Stars form behind his eyelids and he knows he’s close. Jensen takes all of Jared’s cock in his mouth, the crown brushing against his throat, pushes against the magic spot inside Jared and Jared is coming so hard he nearly blacks out. Pleasure is surging through his body and he doesn’t know up from down.

  


Jensen takes all he has to give before pulling off with a soft plop. He scoots up towards Jared and skims his fingertips over Jared’s sweat slick face. Slowly, Jared is coming to again and he smiles at Jensen, receiving a warm grin in return.

  


“You okay?” Jensen asks softly.

  


Jared nods. He doesn’t know how to describe what he’s feeling right now, but he’s definitely more than just okay. Jensen’s erection is digging into Jared’s hipbone and Jared works up his courage to touch Jensen. He curls his fingers around Jensen’s hard and leaking cock and the older man groans. He pushes a little into Jared’s tight fist and his face is distorted in lust and pleasure. Jared is overwhelmed that it’s been him who makes Jensen feel like this.

  


“Show me how to make you feel good,” Jared asks Jensen quietly.

  


“Just keep doing what you’re doing right now,” Jensen breathes out. “So good, Jay… baby, so good.”

  


He pumps his fist up and down Jensen’s dick and Jensen is panting. The older man is flushed bright red and it’s the most incredible sight Jared’s ever seen. Suddenly, Jensen is coming in hot spurts across Jared’s fist. His mouth is slightly open, his back bowed and his eyes closed. For Jared, Jensen is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen right now.

  


When Jensen finally opens his eyes again he’s smiling lovingly at Jared and runs his hands through his hair. Jared turns placing a small kiss against Jensen’s pulse point. Jensen wipes away his come with a tissue before pulling Jared into his arms.

  


“Like I said, you’re perfect.”

  


Jared sighs contently and presses another small kiss to Jensen’s abdomen. “Nobody ever did something like this for me.” He’s still at awe for what just happened.

  


“Jay, can I ask you something?” Jensen asks quietly.

  


The younger man props up on this elbow and faces Jensen. “Anything.”

  


“Why did you… want to stop me when I started to blow you?” Jensen sounds shy and nervous about asking.

  


“Paul, he…,” Jared takes a deep breath, “he always holds my head between his hands and…” Jensen lays a finger across Jared’s mouth when Jared’s voice breaks at the end.

  


“It’s okay baby. I get it.” Jensen kisses his temple.

  


Jared lies back down on Jensen’s chest exhausted. “I never came so hard in my life.” Jensen chuckles. “I mean, Paul… he doesn’t care… if I…” Jensen stops chuckling and pulls Jared tighter against him. “He just takes.” Jared draws random patterns on Jensen’s still flushed skin with his fingertips, while talking. “But you, you make me feel all these amazing things and I wanna give something back. Make you feel amazing, too.”

  


“You do, Jay,” Jensen whispers in his hair. “You make me feel amazing by just being you. There is so much more we can try to make each other feel good.”

  


They lie in comfortable silence. Jensen weaving strands of Jared’s hair through his fingers and Jared still drawing random patterns on Jensen’s skin. It feels good and right.

  


“Can I ask you something else?” Jensen asks, breaking the silence.

  


Jared nods. “Go ahead.”

  


“Why didn’t you say ‘no’ to the marriage? Why didn’t you leave?”

  


Jared sighs. “I thought about leaving, but I had nowhere to go. My dad threatened to tell everybody how worthless I am. I didn’t want that. I wouldn’t have been able to stand people looking at me like the weak, little, pathetic boy I am.”

  


“But you’re not, Jay. You are so damn strong. You endured this all your life and you’re still you. That means you’re stronger than a lot of people,” Jensen says determined. Jared wants to believe Jensen, he does. But it’s hard. “What about Paul? Why did you never leave him?”

  


“He… threatened to…” Jared swallows hard. “I told you about the business dinners I had to serve at?” Jensen nods. “Well, there was this guy… he offered Paul money… to fuck me. Paul said… he would let him fuck me if I didn’t do what he wanted,” Jared sniffs.

  


Jensen is tense beneath him and Jared can practically feel the anger radiating off of him. “I’m going to kick his ass. When we’re back in LA, I’m going to kick his ass from here to Sunday,” he growls.

  


“Jen…”

  


“And the other guy too. What’s his name, Jay?”

  


Jared sighs. “Jen, please…”

  


“What’s his name?” Jensen asks forcefully, but he’s still holding Jared tight against his body, like he wants to protect him from everything that ever happened to him.

  


“His name’s Roberto Coltrano,” Jared relents.

  
  
 

  


Jensen’s head is reeling. He can’t believe what Jared is telling him. What would Paul have to do with Coltrano? Why would he invite him for dinners at his house? There is just one explanation and it makes Jensen’s blood freeze in his veins. He looks down at Jared. The younger man is looking up to him with wide, fearful eyes and Jensen presses a kiss against his forehead to reassure him.

  


“Jen?” Jared whispers, his voice full of uncertainty and fear.

  


“I…,” Jensen swallows hard before he continues, “I need you to ask a question.”

  


“Anything, Jen, anything,” Jared nods frantically.

  


“What’s your last name?”

  


It hurts that Jensen even has to ask. It shows that they haven’t really talked about their lives in LA, about what they do, ever what their full name is. They should have, Jensen thinks. They should have talked about this kind of thing.

  


“Johansson,” Jared says carefully and Jensen heart sinks. “Why?”

  


He sighs and rubs a hand over his face. This is fucked up, seriously fucked up. “I… I’m a cop, Jay. I’m a detective at LAPD.”

  


Jared nods but he doesn’t seem to get the importance. “Okay,” he says slowly.

  


“How much do you know about your husband’s business?” Jensen asks. If Jared has no idea what he’s talking about Jensen has to be very careful to deliver the news.

  


Jared shrugs. “Not much. He exports and imports stuff, like cars and furniture that you can’t get in the US. Why?”

  


“Jared,” Jensen straightens up and grabs Jared’s biceps. “Did you know that the police have him under observation?”

  


The younger man shakes his head. “No. Why would they do that?”

  


“Because they think your husband is connected to a lot of crimes.”

  


“Crimes,” Jared gasps. “What crimes?”

  


Jensen sighs. He really doesn’t want to tell Jared, especially when they don’t have proof that Paul is really connected to any of them. Well, maybe now they do after Jared told Jensen that Roberto Coltrano, mafia boss number one, is going in and out of Johansson’s house.

  


“Arms and drug dealing and smuggling mostly,” Jensen explains. “But the police can’t pin any of that on him. Right now they just assume that he’s involved with organized crime in LA.”

  


Jared’s eyes widen with shock and he shakes his head. “I don’t… I never… Oh my God. I don’t know what to say.”

  


“It’s okay,” Jensen soothes, rubbing his hands over Jared’s arms. “It’s a lot to take in. I understand.”

  


“I can’t believe Paul would do something like that,” Jared says still baffled.

  


Jensen pulls him back into his arms to keep Jared close, running his hands up and down over Jared’s back. The younger man settles his head back on Jensen’s chest. The fingers of their hands entangle and Jensen presses a soft kiss to Jared’s hair.

  


“I never told you why I came here, did I?” Jared shakes his head and Jensen curses to himself for what he is about to do. “I killed someone.” He feels Jared tense in his arms. “I did it because he tried to kill me, but still… in the end I killed him.”

  


Jared looks up, his eyes shimmering with tears. “What happened?”

  


Jensen chuckles humorlessly. “I was trying to buy some milk for breakfast. Chris was waiting outside the store and I just went inside to get some frigging milk.” He swallows hard. “Well, I went to the back of the store and then I heard the guy threatening the cashier to hand over the money. I didn’t even think about it when I pulled my gun… I went back through the aisle and there he was holding a gun to the cashier’s head. So, I did what they taught me to do… I told him to put the gun down and his hands up… he didn’t. He spun around and fired and I did the same… my bullet hit him in the middle of the chest. He was only a kid, not even eighteen.”

  


Jared raises his hand and wipes at the tears that Jensen didn’t even realize were flowing freely down his cheeks.

  


“I didn’t mean to kill him, Jay. I didn’t… I swear,” he’s sobbing, clinging to the younger man in his arms.

  


Jared nods. “I know, Jen. You had to.”

  


He pulls Jensen in a tight embrace and Jensen buries his head in the crook of Jared’s neck. It’s the first time he cried since it happened. He didn’t even know it was weighing on him so much until he let it all out. He killed someone. He wouldn’t have thought that dealing with killing someone would be this hard. Jared holds him for a long time, lets him get it all out and whispers soothing nothings into Jensen’s ear. He tells Jensen that it’s going to be okay, that he did what he had to do to survive and that he’s glad that Jensen didn’t die that day.

  


When Jensen finally stops crying, he presses his forehead against Jared’s. “Thank you, Jay.” He leans forward and kisses the other man gentle. It’s sweet and soft and everything Jensen needs right now. They kiss for a bit before Jensen pulls back. “That’s not all; the name of the boy I killed was Fabrizio Coltrano.” Jared gasps. “He’s Roberto Coltrano’s son.”

  


Jared frowns. “But… I don’t understand, Jen. What does that have to do with you coming here?”

  


Jensen nods. “What do you know about Coltrano, about what he does?”

  


Jared shrugs. “I know he has a few restaurants and spas in LA. Paul and I went to one for dinner once.”

  


“Roberto Coltrano is LA’s number one mob boss. He owns the organized crime, controls drugs and arms smuggle, prostitution and has more than one politician and police officer on his pay list,” Jensen explains. “And I killed his son.”

  


Jared’s eyes widen with shock and fear, “But you didn’t mean to, Jen. You had no choice.”

  


Jensen smiles sadly. “You think that he will care about that. He won’t. He’ll want revenge.” He takes Jared’s hand between his. “My sergeant and my chief managed to keep my name hushed until I left LA, but Coltrano will learn it was me eventually. Right now, my colleagues are trying to finally put him behind bars.”

  


“But if you know what he did, why haven’t they already arrested him?” Jared asks desperately.

  


“Because,” Jensen shrugs his shoulders, “they don’t have proof.”

  


“But how will they get the proof now?”

  


“They won’t,” Jensen says calmly. He knows what awaits him once he gets back to LA, but maybe now with Jared he has a chance.

  


Jared gasps, “Jen…”

  


“But…” He lays a finger softly across Jared’s lips to stop him, “maybe I’ve found a way.”

  


“How?” Jared asks against Jensen’s finger.

  


“You,” Jensen says softly.

  


“Me?” Jared squeaks. “But I don’t know anything.”

  


“You’re married to Paul,” Jensen reasons. “You know that he and Coltrano have a business connection. Maybe you know something you’re not even aware off.” He hates himself for even considering getting Jared involved in this, but maybe he’s his only chance.

  


“But Jen I didn’t even know that Coltrano is the boss of the mafia,” Jared says quietly. “I don’t know how to help you. I wanna, I really do, but I don’t know how.”

  


Jensen presses a chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. We still have some weeks left here. We’ll talk to Chris and Tom.”

  


“Tom?” Jared asks surprised. “Why Tom?”

  


“He’s an attorney in LA. Even if he isn’t assigned to the case he’ll know who we have to talk to and what we’ll need to convict Coltrano.”

  


Jared nods. “Okay. I’ll help.” They smile at each other and Jared kisses Jensen sweetly. “I don’t wanna lose you, Jen.”

  


Jensen’s heart jumps in his chest and he presses their foreheads together. “You won’t, we’ll find a way.” Suddenly, Jared’s stomach starts growling and Jensen laughs. “I guess we need to feed you, Sasquatch.”

  


Jared blushes lowering his eyes and rubs over his stomach. “I’ve never eaten so much in my whole life.”

  


Jensen puts a finger beneath Jared’s chin and lifts it. “You can eat as much as you want to. No need to be ashamed, Jay.”

  


Jared smiles shyly. “Okay,” he nods.

  


Finally they get dressed, even though Jensen would have liked to stay in bed with Jared for the rest of his life, hidden away from the problems and stress of their life in LA. They decide to talk to Tom and Chris after dinner about everything.

  


When they walk to the main house to get dinner, Jared grabs Jensen’s hand and entangles their fingers. The younger man doesn’t seem to think anything about it and Jensen isn’t strong enough to take away what little comfort Jared draws from them holding hands. That’s how they reach the main house.

  


All of the others are already sitting outside talking and chatting about their day. Chris is the first to spot them and his eyes widen when he sees that they’re holding hands, but he gives Jensen a smile and he knows they’re okay. Alona and Sophia are the next to notice and their eyes widen in surprise, but small smiles form on their faces. Misha gives them a relieved look and Milo grins broadly. Mike snorts and shakes his head slowly, as if he just waited for it to happen.

  


Jensen is completely surprised that they all seem to be okay with him and Jared holding hands. Not only okay, but they seem happy.

  


Well, except for David. The other man comes bursting through the back door, rushing towards them and then he’s slamming their hands apart and staring at Jared with angry eyes.

  


“Who do you think you are, whoring yourself out?” He yells. “You’re married for God’s sake. Paul cares for you, he loves you, you little ungrateful bastard. And what do you do? Let the first guy you stumble over fuck you. God, you make me wanna puke.”

  


Jensen doesn’t even remember hitting David straight across the jaw, but the sting in his hand and the way the other man is holding his jaw tells him otherwise. The others look at them with wide, shocked eyes. Chad looks like he wants to kill, as do Chris, Steve and Mike, even Tom scowls at David. Sophia has a hand slapped across her open mouth.

  


“You little prick…,” He starts, but Jared’s voice stops him.

  


“I’m not a whore!” he yells. “I’m not. You know nothing about me. You don’t know how it is to be forced to marry someone you don’t love. You don’t know how it is to be used and treated like you’re worthless. You don’t know how it is to be trapped in a life that holds nothing for you, no happiness, no love, no comfort. You know nothing about me and my life.” Jared takes a deep breath and when he looks at Jensen his eyes soften. “For the first time in my life I get to feel these things and it’s because of Jensen. So,” he turns back to David, “you don’t get to tell me I’m a whore, when I’m in love with someone for the first time in my life.”

  


All of a sudden, all fight seems drain out of Jared and his shoulders slump. He looks around and for the first time he seems to realize that he said all that in front of all the people on Hide Ranch. Jared blushes and spins around, running away from them. Jensen is torn between running after him and beating the crap out of David for upsetting Jared like this.

  


Chad comes over. “I’ll go talk to him.”

  


“I’ll go with you,” Sophia says before squeezing Jensen’s shoulder slightly. “I’m glad you worked it out, otherwise I might have had to kill you.”

  


Jensen smiles gratefully at Sophia and tells Chad, “Yeah, it might be good for Jared to know that you’re still his friends.” Chad and Sophia leave and Jensen turns back to David.

  


The other man looks stunned. “I didn’t know,” he whispers. “I didn’t know.”

  


Jensen wants to punch him again, just because he can, but Jeff comes over, pulling David back into the main house. “In my office, right now!” he hisses and David follows him with slumped shoulders.

  


Chris walks over to Jensen. “Hey, you okay?”

  


Jensen nods and then he smiles. “He said he loved me, didn’t he?”

  


Chris snorts. “From all the things Jared said, that’s what you’re surprised about?”

  


Jensen shrugs. “He kinda told me the other things already. But that one was new.” It feels awesome. He probably should be scared or freak out because Jared is still married, but he doesn’t. He feels like bursting with happiness right now when he thinks about Jared saying he loves him. They can talk about everything else later.

  


“It’s good you love him too then, huh?” Chris teases and Jensen punches his shoulder.

  


“Shut up, asshole.” Jensen laughs, but then he remembers that he and Jared wanted to talk to Chris and Tom about Paul and Coltrano and figures that Jared won’t be up for that right now. “Listen, Chris, I need to talk to you and Tom.”

  


Chris frowns. “To me and Tom? What about?”

  


“Coltrano and Paul Johansson.”

  


Chris’ eyes widen. “Paul Johansson? Why…?” And then Jensen sees Chris putting the things together. “He’s Jared’s husband, isn’t he?”

  


Jensen nods. “Yeah.”

  


“Shit,” Chris exclaims. “But maybe he can help to put Paul and Coltrano behind bars.”

  


Jensen nods. “That’s what I thought. So, we need to talk to Tom. He at least knows who’s assigned to the case.”

  


Chris nods and together they walk to Tom and Mike.

  


“I see you finally came to your senses,” Mike grins appreciatively. “I think it’s great.”

  


Before Jensen can say anything, Chris says to Tom. “We need to talk to you, as an attorney.” Tom frowns, but nods.

  


“Don’t keep him too long,” Mike says and kisses Tom’s cheek before walking inside the main house.

  


They sit down together and Jensen tells Tom everything about Jared’s connection with Paul Johansson and Roberto Coltrano, even talks about the money Coltrano offered for a night with Jared. Then he tells Tom that it was him who killed Coltrano’s son and that he hopes this will help to put Coltrano and Johansson in prison.

  


“So, do you know who’s assigned to the Coltrano and Johansson cases?” Jensen asks.

  


Tom nods, not looking too happy, “Nobody really, because there are no cases. There is no proof against Johansson or Coltrano. But I can tell you that I’d be more than happy to help put them both behind bars.”

  


“No case, huh?” Jensen says.

  


Tom shakes his head. “No. I’m sorry, Jensen.”

  


Jensen nods. He expected as much. He never believed Beaver and Whitfield when they said that they would find something to pin on Coltrano. “So, what do we do know?”

  


Tom shrugs. “Well, we’ll need to talk to Jared, find out what he knows and hope that he knows something we can use. The way Jared talked about his marriage earlier, I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t expect too much. Paul doesn’t sound like the guy who tells his boy toy about business. Even if Jared knows something, it might not be enough to get to Coltrano.”

  


Jensen knows that Tom is right. Jared might know something to convict Johansson, but that doesn’t mean they will be able to find something concerning Coltrano, too. Right now Jensen feels like he’s grasping at straws. He’s just not ready to die, not with Jared at his side now.

  
  
 

  


Jeff opens the door to his office forcefully and stomps inside. David is following him with slumped shoulders and still muttering under his breath that he didn’t know. Well, Jeff doesn’t care. Whether David knew about the arranged marriage or not, Jeff won’t tolerate David insulting the guests.

  


“What the hell has gotten into you?” Jeff asks angrily, spinning around to face David.

  


The other man looks seriously shocked by the things that had been revealed only minutes before. For a second, Jeff asks himself if David might be blind. From the way Jared finally relaxed at the ranch and came out of his shell, it was clear that something couldn’t be right at home for the young man. Okay, Jeff might not have told David about the assumption that Jared was being abused, but still… every normal person could see the change in Jared over the last weeks and that he hadn’t been happy before.

  


“I… I…,” David stutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “I thought…”

  


“Well, honestly,” Jeff continues irritated, when it’s obvious that David won’t be able to form a coherent sentence soon, “I don’t care. No matter what you thought you don’t get to insult my guests and especially not in the way you did. You’re fired!”

  


David heads snaps up. “But, Jeff, I… I’m sorry. I never…”

  


“I don’t care, David,” Jeff interrupts him. “You’ve been acting strange ever since Jared got here and I won’t tolerate that anymore. I didn’t want to fire you, but now I have no other choice. This is your own fault, David.”

  


Jeff watches the other man leave defeated and drops into his chair. He never had to fire anyone and he always thought he knew what his employees were capable of; not so with David. He never would have thought that the younger man would insult a guest, no matter if David was supposed to keep an eye on Jared or not.

  
  
 

  


Jared flees to his and Jensen’s spot at the lake. He did it. He told all of them about his miserable life and how pathetic he really is and he wishes a hole in the ground would swallow him. He didn’t even look at them before he ran. He couldn’t, hadn’t been able to deal with all the pity looks.

  


He wraps his hands tightly around his knees and rocks back and forth, wishing that he never said a word.

  


“Hey.” Chad drops to the ground on one side of Jared and Sophia sits down on the other side. Jared buries his head between his arms so he won’t have to look at any of them. Sophia, however, pulls him into a hug and rubs soothing circles into his lower back

  


“You okay?” She asks quietly and Jared snorts. “Sorry, stupid question.”

  


Chad lays a supporting hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Jaybird, you did the right thing. You fought back. Finally.”

  


Jared chuckles humorlessly and shakes his head. “What I did is telling everybody what a pathetic loser I am.”

  


Sophia shakes her head. “Nobody thinks you’re a loser or pathetic, Jared. We’re your friends.”

  


“But,” Jared starts.

  


“What happened isn’t your fault Jared and nobody thinks that,” Sophia insists. “We all care about you. Jensen might even love you back.”

  


“Oh God,” Jared groans. He told Jensen he loved him, just like that and he isn’t sure Jensen loves him. What if Jensen doesn’t love him back? What if he thinks Jared is not worth it?

  


“Jared,” Chad nudges him. “Stop worrying. The guy loves you.”

  


He looks skeptically at Chad. “You sure?”

  


Chad laughs. “Yes, I am. He’s so gone over you.” Jared stomach growls again. “Now, c’mon we’ll go back and finally get something to eat.”

  


Jared dreads going back, but he’s hungry and he knows he will have to face all the others eventually. Sophia links their arms together so Jared doesn’t have a chance to run away again and all three of them walk back to the main house. Jensen, Chris and Tom are sitting in front of the building talking animatedly. The others are nowhere to be seen. Jensen sees them first and rushes over to Jared.

  


“Jay, you okay?” He pulls Jared into a tight hug.

  


Jared shrugs. “Yeah, I think so.”

  


Jensen smiles softly, “I’m really proud of you for standing up to David like this.”

  


Jared is surprised. “You are?”

  


“Sure,” Jensen nods. He whispers in Jared’s ear, “It really turned me on.”

  


Jared’s cheeks turn a deep shade of red and he lowers his head. Jensen chuckles and kisses him softly. They kiss for a little while and Jared’s legs are a little shaky when they pull apart. Jensen smiles brightly while pulling him into the building.

  


When they get to the dining area, Jared expects all of the others to look at him with pity in their eyes, but none of them does. He receives encouraging smiles and words and when he sits down next to Alona, the girl pulls him into a quick hug.

  


“I’m really happy for you,” she whispers. “You deserve it.”

  


Jared gives her a small, grateful smile back. Jensen lays a hand on his thigh and squeezes encouragingly. When Sam hands him a plate with her delicious, homemade lasagna with a knowing grin, Jared finds himself finally be able to relax.

  
  
 

  


Later, Jared is sitting with Jensen at their spot at the lake and watching the smooth surface in the dark. Jensen is sitting behind him and Jared is comfortably tucked in between Jensen’s legs, lying back against Jensen’s chest. Jensen’s arms surround his body and rest on Jared’s stomach. Their fingers are entangled. It’s comfortable and Jared wishes it could always be like this.

  


He looks down at their hands and he can’t tell which one is Jensen’s and which one is his. But he notices that the wedding band is missing. He hasn’t put it back on after throwing it across the cabin and he feels a lot lighter without it.

  


“Did you mean it?” Jensen whispers in his ear and Jared shivers. Jensen’s deep voice goes directly to Jared’s dick and he feels it harden in his jeans.

  


“What?” Jared asks, acting like he doesn’t know what Jensen is talking about, but he knows.

  


“That you’re in love with me,” Jensen’s voice is soft and his breath tickles Jared’s neck.

  


“Jen, I…” He tries to squirm out of Jensen’s hold because he’s not ready for a rejection.

  


“Shh, Jay. I love you, too.” Jensen nuzzles Jared’s neck, peppering it with small kisses. And Jared wants to cry, he’s completely overwhelmed. He never would have thought Jensen would say it back and sound so damn sincere doing it.

  


“You do?” He asks with a shaky voice.

  


“Yeah, Jay. And I’m not letting you go ever again.”

  


Jared sighs and relaxes back against Jensen chest, because just lying here like this makes him feel completely safe and loved. He lifts and turns is head a little so Jensen can kiss him and when the older man pushes his tongue into Jared’s mouth, Jared wishes they could keep doing this forever.

  
  
 

  


Jeff’s in his office with Sam talking about what happened with David yesterday, when David’s phone rings. They both share a short look, before Jeff answers the phone from his line.

  


“Hide Ranch, this is Jeff Morgan. How may I help you?” He asks cheerfully, even though he doesn’t feel that way. And his heart grows even heavier when he sees the phone number on the display. It’s definitely a call from out of the US.

  


“This is Paul Johansson and I want to talk to Mr. Boreanaz,” a deep, hard voice says stiffly.

  


“I’m afraid Mr. Boreanaz is not working here any longer, Mr. Johansson. May I help you?” Jeff keeps it friendly even though he wants to rip that guy’s throat out.

  


“Well, I asked Mr. Boreanaz to keep an eye on my husband and now Jared isn’t answering his phone. I’m a little concerned,” Paul says sickly sweet.

  


‘I bet,’ Jeff thinks. “I can assure you that your husband is perfectly fine,” is what he says to Paul. “He’s currently on a ride with my daughter.” It’s not true because Jeff saw Jared leaving with Jensen after breakfast, but Paul doesn’t need to know that.

  


Paul snorts. “Well, if you see him later have him call me.”

  


“I’ll tell him,” Jeff says without the intention of actually telling Jared about his and Paul’s little conversation.

  


“Oh and Mr. Morgan, if something happens to my husband I’ll hold you personally responsible for that.” The line goes dead after that and Jeff knows when he hears a threat.

  


“And?” Sam asks curiously.

  


“He wanted to talk to Jared and asked me to tell Jared to call him. What I certainly won’t.”

  


“What are we gonna do now?” Sam asks concerned and Jeff walks around the desk to lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

  


“Keep Jared away from his husband, I’d say.”


	7. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 6/9+Epilogue

  
  
 

  


The next days are spent with Chris and Tom talking constantly to either their people in LA or Jared, and Jensen can do nothing more than pace. Because this case concerns him personally neither Tom nor Chris will let him talk to or question Jared. It almost drives Jensen insane. The only thing that keeps him going is the nightly quiet time with Jared at the lake.

  


Finally Chris asks Jensen to join them. They sit in Tom’s cabin. Paper is scattered everywhere and Tom looks like he pulled at his hair a lot. Jared is slumped into a chair. He looks defeated and Jensen knows that they found nothing. He sighs and sits down next to Jared and kisses his cheek softly.

  


“So, am I guessing right when I say you’ve got nothing?” he asks calmly. Chris looks pained, Jared can barely look at him and Tom just looks resigned.

  


“Jen,” Chris starts.

  


“It’s okay, Chris. The chances were pretty slim,” Jensen acknowledges.

  


“I’m sorry, Jen.” Jared lays his head on Jensen’s shoulder and nuzzles his neck. “I wanted so much to help you.”

  


Jensen pulls him into a hug. “And I love you for that. It’s okay, Jay.”

  


“There is one thing we could try, Jensen,” Tom says quietly and the way he avoids looking at him, Jensen knows he won’t like what Tom has to say. “Jared told us about a safe at their house. Thing is we don’t have the combination and…,” Tom takes a deep breath. “If someone finds out we’ve broken into the safe, everything that’s in it loses its validity. If we decide to go after what’s in the safe we have to be invisible.”

  


“I guess you already have a plan,” Jensen says skeptically. He doesn’t like where this is going, especially if it involves Jared.

  


Chris nods. “Kinda. We’ll need equipment for this and I called an old friend of mine who can hook us up. So that means we all fly to LA together. Jared said that James Lafferty is gonna pick him up at the airport and drive him back to the house.”

  


“Who is this James?” Jensen asks concerned.

  


“He’s Paul’s nephew,” Jared explains. “His parents died when he was sixteen and Paul took care of him. He works at Paul’s company. He’s always been really nice to me.”

  


“How do we know that he’s not involved in Paul’s other business too?” Jensen gets up and paces the room. Everything they’re talking about is so damn precarious and Jared is in the middle of all this.

  


“We don’t,” Tom says honestly. “But Jared said that James probably won’t stay at the house with him.”

  


“That’s right,” Jared confirms. “Whenever Paul asked James to keep an eye on me he never stayed at the house with me over night.”

  


“So that means we’ll part at the airport,” Chris outlines. “Jared is driving home with James and will call us when he’s alone. We’ll go and get the equipment to break into the safe and enter the house through the back door. Get what’s in the safe and leave. Jared will hand the information over to Tom and nobody ever knows we’ve been involved.”

  


The way Chris talks about the plan it sounds easy, but Jensen knows that there are a lot of variables they don’t know. What if James stays suddenly? What if the equipment won’t work on the safe? What if the information is worthless? There are so many ‘what if’s’ that Jensen’s head is spinning.

  


“I don’t like it,” he says coming to an abrupt halt. “It’s too risky.”

  


“Jen, maybe it’ll help,” Jared pleads, looking at Jensen with wide insecure eyes. “I can do it.”

  


Jensen leans down and kisses Jared’s temple. “I know you can, but what if something goes wrong? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  


“But what if you go back to LA and Coltrano knows you killed his son?” Jared asks desperately. “You said he’d want revenge.”

  


“Probably, yes,” Jensen says calmly.

  


“Damnit, Jensen!” Chris yells. “You’re really ready to die?”

  


“No I’m not, Chris,” Jensen argues back. “But I’m not risking Jared’s life, either.”

  


“We have a chance here, Jensen,” Tom reasons. “Maybe we could catch Johansson and Coltrano at the same time. Besides if something is out of the ordinary, Jared can call and you’ll call off the operation.”

  


“God,” Jensen tears at his hair. They’re right. It is a chance, a chance to put two very powerful people finally behind bars. He kneels down in front of Jared taking his hands between his own. “Promise me something, Jay.”

  


“Anything,” Jared says with conviction.

  


“If you get the feeling that something is wrong that day or if there is anything out of the ordinary you’ll call and we’ll call off the whole thing. I won’t risk you getting hurt, okay? Promise me,” Jensen pleads.

  


“I promise,” Jared nods leaning down to brush his lips against Jensen’s.

  


Jensen sighs. “Good. I love you.”

  


“Love you too.” They rest their foreheads against each other.

  


“Okay,” Chris interrupts. “I guess that’s settled then.”

  


Jensen pulls back and smiles. “So that means we have three weeks left here, right?” Jared nods. “Let’s enjoy them okay?” Jared nods again and leans in for a soft kiss.

  


Jensen is still not happy with the whole plan, but he’ll worry about it when they get there. Right now he just wants to enjoy the time he’s left at the ranch with Jared, and preferably only with Jared. He already has an idea how they can make it memorable, but he has to talk to Alona and Sophia first for that.

  
  
 

  


Jared shuffles through his cabin the next morning when he sees the display of the phone blink frantically. He sighs. He hasn’t answered the phone ever since the day he told Jensen he loved him. That, however, didn’t stop Paul from calling and he’s calling constantly. Jared thought about pulling the plug but decided against it because if Paul doesn’t get at least a dial tone, he would probably terrorize the main house with his calls and Jared doesn’t want that. So, he decided to turn off the ring tone.

  


There is a knock on the door and Jared grins. It’s probably Jensen who wants to get him for breakfast. He opens the door to reveal Sophia and Chad, who both break into laughter when they see how Jared’s grin falls of his face disappointedly.

  


“And I thought you’d be happy to see us, Jaybird,” Chad teases.

  


“I am happy to see you,” Jared reassures his friend. “But I was waiting for Jensen. He wanted to come over before breakfast.”

  


“Well,” Sophia says with a sly grin. “He’s not coming.” Jared’s eyes widen with shock. What? Why? Did he do anything to push Jensen away? “Stop freaking out, Jared,” Sophia says. “Everything is perfectly fine. Jensen sent us because he has a surprise planned for you tonight and asked us to help him.”

  


“A surprise?” Jared asks stunned.

  


Chad nods. “Yeah, silly. So, we are taking you into the city for the day.”

  


“We’re going shopping with you,” Sophia says cheerfully and starts pulling Jared out of the cabin.

  


The young man looks down at himself. He’s wearing his favorite baggy shorts, an old t-shirt and flip-flops. Okay, maybe Sophia is right and he needs a few new clothes, but there is still a little problem.

  


“I don’t have money for that,” Jared says quietly and Sophia slaps him playfully.

  


“I own a fashion company. You let me worry about the money.”

  


“No Sophia. I can’t accept that,” Jared shakes his head quickly.

  


“Oh yes you can and you will.” Sophia throws her arms around Jared’s neck and kisses his cheek. “Happy Birthday, Jared.”

  


Jared’s eyes widen in surprise and shock. He has practically forgotten his twenty-first birthday. Chad grins at him and claps his shoulder.

  


“Happy Birthday, Jaybird.” Chad laughs. “C’mon, Jared. Let’s have some fun.”

  


Jared looks around and grins at his friends. The phone is blinking when he grabs the key to his cabin. If Jensen has planned a surprise for him, the least he can do is look decent.

  
  
 

  


Somewhere in Europe

  


Paul slams the receiver back on the phone. He’s furious. Who does his little worthless shit of a husband think he is, not answering his phone and never calling back? This has to end and Paul will end it. If his business wasn’t going to take at least another two weeks, he would be back on a plane to the US in no time and then he’d show Jared what it means to be married to Paul Johansson.

  


He’s never hit Jared before. Not because he wouldn’t do it, but because his husband had been completely obedient. Gerry had seen to that over all these years. But now something changed and Paul will show his husband that nobody treats Paul Johansson like this. Jared will get a nasty surprise when he gets back to LA.

  


Paul grabs the receiver again and dials the familiar number. It rings twice before James answers the phone.

  


“Hey Paul.” The voice of his nephew is overly cheerful. He probably got laid last night.

  


“I want you to get your ass over to that ranch and keep an eye on Jared,” Paul growls.

  


“Paul, is something wrong?” James asks concerned. “Is Jared okay?”

  


“He doesn’t answer the phone. I haven’t talked to him in three days, but the ranch manager told me he’s fine,” Paul explains calmly. He can’t let James know how furious he really is, or his nephew will know something isn’t right between him and Jared.

  


“Paul, he’s probably only enjoying his stay. I mean,” James reasons, “you sent him there so he could relax. Honestly, I don’t have time to fly over there. I have a few important business meetings over the next two weeks.”

  


Paul wants to hit something. He wants to jump through the phone and punch James in the face, even though his nephew is only telling Paul what he thinks he knows.

  


“Yeah, you’re right. He’s probably enjoying his stay and he’ll call sooner or later,” he says grinding his teeth.

  


They talk a little over how business is going and then they say ‘goodbye’. The second the call is disconnected Paul dials another number.

  


“Yes, sir,” a gruff voice answers.

  


“I want you to go to Colorado and get my husband. When he’s back in LA, don’t let him out of your sight. You understand me?” Paul barks into the phone.

  


“Yes, Sir!”

  


“Call me when you get it done.”

  


The call is disconnected and Paul pours himself a drink. The brandy burns in his throat, but it feels good and Jared will be back where he belongs in no time.

  
  
 

  


Hartford is a small town with only a few shops. Alona told Sophia that there was a mall a little outside of town. They stopped in Hartford for breakfast and coffee and strolled through the small streets just for fun. They didn’t find anything they wanted to buy, but it was nice to wander around the town for a little bit.

  


Now they’re on their way to the mall. Chad parks the car in front of the building and Sophia practically jerks Jared out of the car because she’s so damn excited. Jared’s never been the kind of guy who likes shopping or who even cares what he’s wearing. He always tries to be invisible to others and he mostly owns boring grey or black clothes. But Sophia already told him that she will change that and Jared is a little scared about what she has in mind.

  


They walk through the mall slowly and Sophia pushes him into every single shop they come across. She makes him try on different jeans, dress pants, t-shirts and dress shirts, and whenever he comes out of the dressing room she picks at his clothes. Sometimes she frowns and sends him back inside to try on another one. Then there are times when her eyes widen appreciatively and she lets them roam over Jared’s body. The way she looks at him makes him uncomfortable, even though Jared knows that Sophia means no harm.

  


Chad stays mostly in the background, only sometimes nodding when he likes something. Jared has never tried on so many clothes in his life and after the fourth shop he’s exhausted. They already bought three jeans, two dress pants – one beige and one black –, four t-shirts and one dress shirt for him. For Jared that is more than enough, but Sophia won’t stop.

  


They have burgers for lunch and after a short break Sophia ushers them further along. When they come across a hair-dresser Sophia pushes Jared inside and orders the young man inside to make something out of Jared’s mop of hair. That’s the only time Jared says anything against Sophia’s plans because he knows Jensen loves his hair and he would be deeply disappointed if Jared cut it all off.

  


The hairdresser reassures him that he won’t cut off Jared’s hair completely and gets to work. When he’s finished Jared doesn’t really see any difference, but Sophia squeals over his new look and even Chad tells him that he looks good and that’s enough for Jared.

  


They stay at the mall ‘til late afternoon and when they finally make their way over to the car, they’re weighted down with a lot of bags full of Jared’s new clothes.

  
  
 

  


Jensen is leaning against the reception desk talking to Alona. The whole day they’ve been busy setting up Jensen’s surprise. Right now Jensen nerves are getting the better off him. What if Jared won’t like it?

  


“Jared will love it,” Alona says as if she can read his mind. “He loves you and he’ll love the surprise.”

  


“You sure?”

  


“God, Jensen.” Alona shakes her head amused. “Yes, I’m sure. It is so romantic, especially since it’s Jared’s birthday.”

  


“What’s romantic?” Milo asks, looking out of the back office.

  


“Jensen’s idea for his first date with Jared,” Alona explains and Milo comes over to them.

  


“Really?” he asks cheerfully. “You planned your first date? That’s so adorable. You two are just too cute together.”

  


Jensen groans. “God, I’m a girl for doing this, aren’t I?”

  


A hand falls on Jensen’s shoulder and Chris says, “Totally, bro. But it’s still so cute.” He pinches Jensen’s cheek. Jensen slaps his hand away and Chris, Milo, Alona and Steve, who walked inside with Chris, burst out laughing.

  


“Shut up, jackass,” Jensen grumbles.

  


All of a sudden the back door bursts open and a tall, dark-haired man with broad shoulders is walking inside. A scar is running from his hairline across his cheek and down to his chin. He doesn’t look friendly and Jensen feels Chris tense next to him.

  


“Welcome to Hide Ranch. What can I do for you?” Alona’s voice is friendly, but Jensen hears a little waver. They didn’t expect any new guests at the ranch right now and this guy looks a lot like trouble.

  


“I’m here to pick up Jared Johansson,” the guy says gruffly.

  


Jensen sighs. Paul sent this guy to take Jared away. David probably told Paul about Jensen and Jared and now Jared’s husband sent someone to take Jared back to LA.

  


“I’m sorry,” Alona says calmly. “I think there must be a mistake. Jared is still booked for the next two weeks.”

  


“I don’t care,” the guy says. “Paul Johansson sent me here to pick up his husband and I intend on doing that. Now young lady, if you would show me the way?”

  


“No,” Alona shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

  


The guy growls and takes a step towards Alona. Jensen steps in front of her, blocking the guy’s path. He’s a few inches smaller than Jensen, but a lot broader and Jensen is not sure if he stood a chance in a fight. However he won’t let this guy take Jared away nor will he let him threaten Alona. Chris and Steve join him on both sides and big guy growls again.

  


“Is there a problem?” Jeff calls from the stairs, rushing over towards them.

  


“This guy is here to pick up Jared,” Alona explains.

  


Jeff frowns. “Why?”

  


“Paul Johansson gave me the order and I don’t ask questions,” the guy answers angrily. “Now I wanna see Mr. Johansson.”

  


“Well, I’m afraid he isn’t here right now,” Jeff says nicely. “Besides, if Mr. Johansson wants to pick up Jared he can do so himself. I won’t let Jared leave with anyone else. You got it?” His voice turned to ice.

  


The guy snorts. “You gonna stop me?”

  


Jeff’s eyes are hard and cold. “Believe me, I will. Now I’m asking you to leave nicely. Otherwise I’ll kick your ass so hard you won’t be able to walk for a month.”

  


The grins falls of the guy’s face when he looks first at Jeff and then at Jensen, Chris and Steve. He doesn’t have a chance against four. He stomps outside again, climbs in his car and drives off.

  


“I’ll follow him,” Chris says. “See to it that he really leaves.”

  


“I’ll join you,” Steve replies.”

  


“Okay,” Jeff nods. “If he doesn’t leave you come back and we call the sheriff to report a trespassing.”

  


Chris and Steve leave and Jensen leans against the counter. He rubs a hand over his face. He can’t believe what just happened. He definitely underestimated Paul.

  


“I don’t want you to tell Jared, okay?” He looks at Milo, Alona and Jeff. “I’ll tell him, but first I want him to enjoy our date and his birthday.”

  


The others nod and Jensen makes his way over to his cabin to get ready for tonight. What happened only a few minutes ago had scared Jensen to his core. It means that Paul is willing to do a lot to keep Jared in check and Jensen dreads the moment they’re flying back to LA. They haven’t talked about what will happen with their ‘relationship’ once they get back to LA, but Jensen won’t give up without a fight. But now it seems a lot like Paul won’t give up either.

  


Jensen climbs into the shower and tries to relax before Jared gets here tonight. When the water runs cold he gets out of the shower, towels off, shaves and brushes his teeth. He puts on a deep green button-down shirt and black dress pants. After that he spikes up his hair and when he finally walks back out on the deck, Sam is setting up the table.

  


She looks up and smiles. “Wow, you look great.”

  


“Thanks,” Jensen smiles. “You think Jared will like it?”

  


“Yeah, I’m sure of that,” Sam reassures him before pulling him back inside. “So, I’ve put the chicken and veggies in the oven. The salad is sitting on the counter and ready to serve and the mousse au chocolate is in the fridge.”

  


“It smells great, Sam. Thank you.”

  


Sam nods. “Sure. I really think you two are good together. You’re good for him, Jensen.”

  


“He’s good for me, too,” Jensen replies and Sam hugs him.

  


“Have a great night.”

  


She leaves and Jensen sits down outside and waits for Jared to come over. He arranged with Sophia that she would take Jared to her cabin to change so the young man wouldn’t see what was awaiting him.

  


Misha comes over ten minutes after Jensen sat down and tells him that Jared, Sophia and Chad just came back. Jensen waits.

  
  
 

  


Jared showers and puts on the clothes Sophia laid out for him on the bed. It’s beige dress pants and a black button-down shirt. The pants fit like a second skin, but Jared feels a little uncomfortable because he isn’t used to pants like that. The shirt fits perfectly over his broad shoulders and when he finally walks out of the bedroom Sophia gasps and Chad whistles.

  


“Wow, Jared. This is… you look so damn hot,” Sophia says dreamily.

  


“Really Jared, you look great,” Chad agrees.

  


Jared blushes and looks down at his black dress shoes. “You think Jensen will like it?”

  


“Jensen will love it,” Sophia insists. “He’s waiting at his cabin for you.”

  


“Have fun,” Chad slaps his back and pushes him out of the cabin.

  


Jared takes a deep breath. His heart is beating a mile a minute, because he has no idea what Jensen has planned for them. He walks past the main house. Alona, Misha and Milo are sitting outside with Chris, Steve, Mike and Tom. Jared waves a little and he sees the surprised, but appreciative looks the guys give him. Alona runs over to him to give him a hug, wish him a happy birthday and tell him how hot he looks. Jared hugs her back before walking down the gravel path to Jensen’s cabin.

  


The sun is slowly disappearing behind the mountains and bathes the ranch in soft orange light. When he gets closer to Jensen’s cabin, he sees candlelight lighten the deck. Jensen is standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Jared.

  


“Hi,” Jared breathes. Jensen looks beautiful. The deep green shirt brings out his eyes and the black dress pants hug his hips and ass perfectly.

  


Jensen takes a step towards him. “You look beautiful, Jay.” He runs a hand through Jared’s hair and the young man is glad that he didn’t put styling gel in it. Jensen pulls him down and brushes his lips gently against Jared’s. “Happy Birthday, Jay.”

  


Jared sighs happily. “How did you know?”

  


Jensen grins. “Chad told me.” He reaches for Jared’s hand. “Come, dinner is ready.”

  


“You made dinner for me, Jen?” Jared asks stunned.

  


Jensen grins sheepishly. “Well, Sam made the dinner. But it was my idea.”

  


Jared entangles his fingers with Jensen’s and pulls Jensen’s hand to his lips. “Thank you.”

  


It’s so wonderfully romantic that Jared has to fight to keep tears back. The whole deck is lit in candles and the table in the middle of the room is decorated with a white tablecloth and rose petals.

  


“You like it?” Jensen asks shyly.

  


“I love it, just like I love you.”

  


Jensen breaks out into a broad grin. “I love you too. Come, sit down. I’ll get the first course.” He walks to the door before turning around again. “You want wine or beer?”

  


Jared contemplates Jensen’s questions and thinks that Sam and Jeff always have wine with their dinner and it seems more appropriate than beer for the situation. “Wine.”

  


“Okay,” Jensen says and walks inside.

  


Jared sits down and runs his fingertips over the smooth white tablecloth. It’s perfect. Jensen comes back outside with a bottle of wine and pours them a glass before disappearing inside to get the salad.

  


They eat in silence, just sharing small smiles and loving looks. The food is great as always and when they finally get to the mousse au chocolate Jensen feeds it to Jared from his fork. Jared wishes that this night would never end.

  


After dinner Jensen hands Jared a longish box wrapped in silver paper. Jared looks at Jensen with wide eyes, his heart beating a mile a minute.

  


“Jen,” he breathes.

  


“Happy Birthday, Jay.” Jensen smiles and rubs his thumb over the back of Jared’s hand. “Now, open it.”

  


Jared unwraps the box carefully. It’s black and pretty non-descript. When Jared opens it, he finds a simple silver necklace. He gasps.

  


“You like it?” Jensen asks shyly.

  


Jared looks up and nods, feeling tears burn behind his eyes. Nobody ever gave something so beautiful to him. He runs his fingers over the necklace and feels the cold metal beneath his skin.

  


“I love it, Jen. It’s beautiful.”

  


Jensen smiles slightly. “Not as beautiful as you are.” He gets up and walks around the table. “Let me help you put it on.”

  


He takes the necklace from Jared and puts it around Jared’s neck. Jared shivers when Jensen’s fingertips brush over the sensitive skin at his neck. “Thank you,” he whispers.

  


Jensen leans down and brushes his lips over Jared’s in a gentle kiss. “You’re welcome.”

  


Then he grabs Jared’s hands and walks them towards their spot on the lake. They sit together in comfortable silence, their fingers linked together. Jared lays his head on Jensen’s shoulder and the older man presses a soft kiss to Jared’s hair.

  


“I love you, Jay,” he whispers.

  


“I love you too,” Jared whispers back. “I’ve never felt like this. It’s as if there are a million butterflies in my stomach whenever I think of you. It feels good, right?”

  


“It does, baby,” Jensen agrees.

  


When they finally walk back to Jared’s cabin, Jared is sure that he’s not ready to let Jensen go.

  


“I want you to stay the night,” he says quietly.

  


Jensen shoots him a grin. “I didn’t know you put out on the first date, Jay.”

  


Jared rolls his eyes. “Just to sleep I mean. I really wanna sleep next to you. It makes me feel safe.”

  


Jensen presses a soft kiss against Jared’s lips. “I’d love to stay the night.”

  


Jared walks into the cabin and Jensen follows him. They strip down to their boxers and Jared’s cock stirs when he watches Jensen’s muscles move in the soft light. This right here is not about sex, but about connecting with the person you love.

  


They settle in Jared’s bed and Jared lays his head on Jensen’s shoulder, his hand resting on Jensen’s belly. Jensen pulls his closer to his side.

  


“Night, Jay,” he whispers.

  


“Night, Jen.”

  


Jared presses a last kiss to Jensen’s shoulder, before drifting off to a deep sleep.

  
  
 

  


Jared’s shirt is clinging to his back while he follows Jensen through the forest. He wonders why they had to decide to go hiking today when it is so hot outside. Sweat is running down his back and chest and he wishes for a shower and they’ve only been walking for twenty minutes.

  


Jensen turns around and sends Jared a bright smile that makes heat pool in his belly and his dick stirs in his pants. He sighs. A hard-on won’t make it any easier to hike through the woods.

  


“We’re almost there,” Jensen says and Jared wonders where Jensen is leading him.

  


These last two weeks they were practically inseparable and Jared enjoyed every second he got to spend with Jensen. They went horseback riding a few days back and Jared is getting pretty good at staying on the horse. Jensen said as much and rewarded Jared with a heated kiss.

  


They’re getting pretty good at that too, and Jared wishes they could keep doing this forever. He loves Jensen’s lips against his or Jensen’s hands on his body. He practically loves everything that Jensen does to him. They haven’t had real sex, but they exchanged mutual hand-jobs and Jensen has blown him on more than one occasion. Jensen even rimmed him once and Jared came so hard that he blacked out.

  


He never would have thought that he’d become addicted to sex, but right now he can barely keep himself from jumping Jensen whenever he sees the man. It makes Jared smile in awe and he loves that it’s Jensen who wakes these feelings in him. Jensen who’s his savior in any sense of the word, since Jared met him he feels alive for the first time in his whole life. He also feels a lot more confident about himself. He’s finally able to hold a conversation without stuttering and blushing and it’s mostly Jensen’s doing.

  


Over the last two weeks Jared had come to the decision that he would finally leave Paul, especially after Jensen told him that Paul sent somebody to bring Jared back to LA. It scared Jared that Paul would send someone to get him. Even though Chris told them that the guy did leave, Jared still tries to never be alone anywhere.

  


So he decided to finally take the last step to get away. He knows it will be hard, but he has to take that step in order to find happiness for himself. He has talked to Chad about it and his best friend was more than thrilled to hear it. Chad directly offered a place to stay and any help Jared would need. Jared is still not sure what he did to deserve such a friend.

  


However, he still has to tell Jensen about his decision and it makes him nervous because he’s not sure how Jensen will react. Jensen may have told Jared that he loved him, but maybe he didn’t really mean it. Or maybe Jensen only wants to be with him while they’re on the ranch.

  


They haven’t talked about what they planned to do when they would get back to LA and Jared isn’t sure that Jensen will still want to be with him after they get the information from the safe. Jared wanted to talk to Jensen about it but Jensen always blocked the topic, saying he wanted to enjoy the time they had and that they would talk about it when the time would come.

  


“A penny for your thoughts,” Jensen says softly and entwines their hands, lifting Jared’s to his lips and kissing the back of it lightly.

  


Jared chuckles. “They’re not worth it.”

  


Jensen turns serious. “Well, I happen to think you’re thoughts are a lot more worth than a penny. So tell me, please.”

  


Jared isn’t sure how to put all his thoughts in words so he just says, “I thought about you and how happy you make me.”

  


Jensen’s eyes darken with something unreadable and then he leans forward pressing a soft kiss against Jared’s lips. Jensen’s lips are soft and warm and Jared runs his tongue over Jensen’s bottom lip begging for entrance. The older man opens up and he tastes like coffee and pancakes and something uniquely Jensen. Jared’s hands come to a rest on Jensen’s hips pulling him flush against Jared’s body and he feels that Jensen’s hard in his shorts. Jensen buries his fingers in Jared’s long hair.

  


They stand beneath the canopy of the trees for a long time just kissing and touching before Jensen’s pulls back breathless. His lips are swollen and his eyes dark with lust and he’s so damn gorgeous like this.

  


“Where did you learn to kiss like this?” Jensen pants. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t show you that.”

  


Jared feels his cheeks heat up, but also pride swell in his stomach. He leans forward and presses his forehead against Jensen’s. “Practice makes perfect,” he whispers with a smile on his face.

  


Jensen laughs. “Let’s practice some more, then.”

  


He pulls Jared further up the hill and suddenly they break through the trees and stand on the brink of a small clearing. Sunrays shine through the leaves, painting shadows on the grassy ground. Birds chirp in the distance and suddenly Jared feels at peace. All his problems and sorrows are falling away and the only thing that counts is that he’s here with Jensen.

  


Jensen leads him to the middle of the clearing, pulls out a blanket out of his backpack lying in on the ground and then he sits down motioning for Jared to sit next to him.

  


When he does, Jensen pulls him into a kiss whispering against his lips, “Alone, finally.”

  


They kiss for a little while before they lie down on the blanket. They’re hands are entwined and Jensen brushes his thumb over the back of Jared’s hand. It’s comfortable and Jared enjoys Jensen’s silent company. It’s nice not to have to talk. But Jared also knows that this is the moment he waited for.

  


So he says, “I’m gonna leave Paul. Get a divorce.”

  


Jensen props up on his elbow and looks at Jared with unreadable eyes. “Jay,” he says softly.

  


Jared stops him, continuing. “I don’t know if you’ll still want me… want this, when we’re back in LA.” He hates that his voice is shaky and uncertain. “But,” he swallows hard, “I know now that I have to get away from Paul to live my own life.”

  


“Baby,” Jensen whispers, cupping Jared’s jaw with one hand. “I’ll always want you. I love you and I told you that I won’t let you go again. If this is what you want, if you decide you want to be with me, I’ll be there.”

  


Jared nods frantically. “Yes… yes, I wanna be with you.”

  


Jensen smiles brightly and leans down to kiss Jared passionately. Jared opens up and their tongues rub together, sending shivers down his spine and sparks to his cock. He moans and Jensen pulls back. “You don’t know what you do to me, lying here like this. You’re so damn beautiful Jay.” He looks down Jared’s body, bringing his hand down to cup Jared’s crotch. “Already hard for me?”

  


Jared bucks up into Jensen’s hand and fumbles to get something out of his shorts’ pocket. His fingers wrap around a condom and a pack of lube and he pulls it out handing it to Jensen. Chad gave them to him the day after Jared’s admission that he loved Jensen. The older man’s eyes widen in surprise, but they’re also dark with lust.

  


“Jay, I,” Jensen breathes.

  


“Please Jen. I want you to,” he says. His voice is deep and rough, because he’s so turned on. “Wanna feel you in me.”

  


“Baby, are you sure?” Jensen asks.

  


Jared nods. “Yes. You told me it would be amazing, when we have sex and I trust you, Jen. I want you.”

  


“God, Jay,” Jensen moans. “I love you, love you so much, baby.”

  


He kisses Jared again, sweet and soft. His hands find their way beneath Jared’s t-shirt and Jensen runs his fingers over Jared’s chest, making him shiver. Jared pulls on Jensen’s shirt and they break their kiss to get rid of Jensen’s and then Jared’s shirt. Jensen brushes his thumb over sensitive nipples and Jared arches his back towards the sensation. The older man trails kisses down Jared’s sweaty chest, licking and sucking on his nipples before dipping his tongue into Jared’s bellybutton.

  


Jensen’s hands are working on Jared’s fly and soon they’re pushing Jared’s shorts and boxers down his lean hips leaving him completely naked.

  


“God, so beautiful, Jay,” Jensen whispers against Jared’s hot skin.

  


Jared reaches for the other man to help him lose his pants and boxers as well and finally they’re both naked. Jared wraps his fingers around Jensen’s hard and leaking cock and the older man groans deep in his throat. He pumps Jensen’s cock once, twice and Jensen bucks into his tight fist.

  


“So good, Jay.”

  


Jared pulls Jensen down for another wet and heated kiss, while Jensen curls his hand around Jared’s dick. He strokes Jared lightly, not nearly enough to find release and Jared moans.

  


“Jen, please,” Jared begs.

  


Jensen finally settles between Jared legs. He leans down for another kiss and their cocks rub against each other, slicked by sweat and pre-come. Then Jensen makes his way down, licking over the crown of Jared’s cock and down to his balls. He rips open the package of lube and Jared tenses. He can’t fight it, but Jensen presses a chaste kiss to the inside of his thigh.

  


“Relax, Jay,” Jensen says softly. He coats his fingers with lube and runs one of them over Jared’s puckered hole. It’s quivering in anticipation and Jensen presses slowly against it. Jensen had done that to Jared before and the younger man relaxes, letting Jensen’s finger into his body.

  


It feels amazing the way Jensen is pumping his finger in and out of Jared’s ass and Jared relaxes more, allowing the finger to push further inside. Jensen’s other hands wraps around Jared’s leaking dick and strokes it slowly.

  


Jared is on fire and he wants, needs more. “Jen, please…”

  


“You like that, Jay? Like my finger in your ass?”

  


Jared blushes but nods. “Yes, God, yes.”

  


Jensen chuckles and adds a second finger. It’s been weeks since Jared last did this and he feels the stretch, but it doesn’t hurt. It still feels so damn good. Jensen’s fingertips brush against his prostate and Jared pushes down on Jensen’s fingers.

  


“Jen…,” he cries out and Jensen keeps pumping his fingers in and out of his ass in a steady rhythm.

  


“I’ve got you, Jay. I’ll make it so good, baby,” Jensen promises and Jared believes him.

  


Suddenly a third finger is pushed into Jared and he feels so damn full, but oh so good. He wants Jensen like right the fuck now. And he says as much, “Please, Jen, now. Need you now.”

  


Jensen pulls his fingers out and puts on the condom before coating his dick with lube. He leans down; positioning himself at Jared’s entrance and Jared catches his mouth in a reassuring kiss while Jensen pushes inside Jared’s body. There is a slight burn, but nothing like the pain he experienced when Paul plunged into his body.

  


“Jay, you okay?” Jensen asks concerned and Jared nods.

  


“Yeah, great,” he answers a little breathless and Jensen starts moving, pulling almost completely out before pushing back in.

  


Jensen changes the angle a little and his cock brushes over Jared’s prostate on each stroke, sending fireworks through Jared’s body. He’s panting and sweating and begging Jensen for more.

  


“So tight, Jay. So good,” Jensen tells him and Jared wraps his legs around Jensen’s hips to feel him deeper inside. It’s the most amazing thing Jared ever felt and he’s sure that it is because he’s doing this with Jensen, the man he loves.

  


Jensen wraps his hand around Jared’s rock-hard dick and strokes him in a counter-rhythm to the way his cock is pumping in and out of Jared’s ass. Jared comes first, white-hot pleasure surging through his body and he screams Jensen’s name into the wilderness. Jensen pumps into Jared’s ass once, twice, before he’s coming. Jared wishes he could feel Jensen’s come in his ass. He never liked the feeling of Paul’s come there, but right now he wishes he could feel Jensen’s come coating his insides.

  


When they come down from their high, Jensen pulls out of Jared’s body, ties off the condom and wipes Jared’s come stained belly with tissues. He then, pulls Jared into his arms and the younger man settles his head on Jensen’s shoulder, his hand lying over Jensen’s heart. He’s completely drained, but also very happy. He falls asleep with Jensen’s hand buried in his hair, weaving the long strands through is fingers.

  
  
 

  


When Jensen wakes, the sun is a lot lower then it was before and he sees Jared sitting next to him with crossed legs and his sketchbook in his hands. He’s concentrating on the way the pencil rushes over the paper and the tip of his tongue sticks out of the corner of his mouths. It’s adorable. Jensen wonders when ‘adorable’ became part of his vocabulary, but when he looks at Jared he knows it.

  


The younger man is completely lost in his thoughts and hasn’t even noticed that Jensen is awake.

  


“Hey,” Jensen yawns and Jared’s head jerks up.

  


At first he looks a little spooked, but then Jensen’s favorite smile appears on his face, with Jared’s dimples on full force and Jensen’s heart skips a beat.

  


“Hey,” Jared says softly laying his sketchbook aside and leaning down to press a chaste kiss to Jensen’s mouth.

  


“You okay?” Jensen asks when they part.

  


Jared nods, still smiling. “I’m great.”

  


They’re both still naked and Jensen’s dick twitches when he takes in the way Jared’s soft skin shines beneath the sunlight. Jared sees it too and blushes, but he doesn’t try to cover himself up. Instead he wraps his hand hesitantly around Jensen’s cock and strokes him to full hardness. It feels fucking amazing and Jensen groans, his eyes falling shut.

  


All of a sudden his dick is surrounded by wet heat and Jensen jerks his eyes open. Looking down he sees Jared’s lips stretched wide around his hard dick and he almost comes right then and there. Jared has never blown him before and Jensen would have been damned if he had pushed him. So this is like a small miracle for Jensen and his heart swells with love. Jared looks at him with wide eyes as if asking for permission and Jensen strokes his cheek, nodding.

  


Slowly Jared runs his tongue over the crown, dipping into the slit and Jensen fists his fingers in the blanket because he has to keep from bucking up into the wet heat. He moans and Jared starts to get a little more confident about his abilities. He sucks and licks and his hand tugs at Jensen’s balls. It’s sloppy and awkward, but for Jensen it couldn’t be more perfect. Soon, he feels his orgasm building in his stomach and he tucks at Jared’s hair.

  


“Jay, I’m gonna come,” he warns but Jared keeps sucking at the tip and then Jensen is coming in Jared’s mouth and Jared is swallowing everything Jensen has to give. He keeps going until Jensen’s cock is soft again and then makes his way upwards.

  


Jensen slams their mouths together, pushing his tongue into Jared’s mouth, tasting himself. He reaches for Jared’s dick and brings the other man to completion with a few hard strokes. Jared groans against Jensen’s mouth when he comes hot over Jensen’s hand. Jensen presses his forehead against Jared’s.

  


“I love you.”

  


Jared smiles. “I love you, too.”

  


They lie together in silence for some time, before Jensen suggests going back to the ranch and getting a shower.

  


“Together?” Jared asks shyly and Jensen wants to tackle the younger man down and ravish him again.

  


“If you want,” Jensen answers and Jared nods.

  


They pack their things together and walk back to the ranch in record time. When they get to Jared’s cabin twenty minutes later, Jensen pushes the younger man inside and into the bathroom. They strip out of their clothes and Jared laughs when Jensen almost trips over his shorts. They get into the large shower stall together and Jensen turns on the water. They’re drenched in seconds and Jensen plunges his tongue into Jared’s mouth, claiming Jared as his. His hands entangle with Jared’s long, wet hair and Jared moans brokenly against Jensen’s lips.

  


Jensen knows he’s a little aggressive right now, but the way Jared is writhing beneath his hands tells him that Jared is more than enjoying it. They’re both hard again and Jensen wraps his hand around both cocks, stroking them together. Jared’s head falls to Jensen’s shoulder and his hands run down Jensen’s back until coming to a rest on Jensen’s ass. Jared pulls them closer together rubbing their cocks against each other’s hips.

  


Soon, they’re both coming hard and hot over each other’s bellies. They share a lazy smile when Jensen starts to finally soap their bodies with Jared’s shower gel. When they’re clean again, they climb out of the shower and towel off together. Jensen feels completely sated and he kisses Jared lazily. He still can’t believe that this is finally his, that Jared is leaving Paul to be with him. He can really have this for the rest of his life.

  


They get dressed. Jensen’s clothes are next to Jared’s in the closet. They decided a few days back that if they wanted to be together Jensen should move into Jared’s cabin. They’d been sharing a bed ever since they day of their first ‘date’, so it was just another step to get Jensen’s clothes over here.

  


It’s almost dinner time and Jensen feels his stomach growling. “Jay, you ready to get something to eat?”

  


“Can we go by Shadow first?” Jared asks.

  


Over the last weeks, Jared spent a lot of time with Shadow and a few days earlier he finally managed to bathe the stallion. Shadow is still cautious and on most days only Jared is allowed to touch him, but the horse makes progress and seems to understand that nobody on the ranch would want to hurt him. Jared had been so thrilled when Shadow had let him touch him and then bathe him. He had been grinning like a little child at Christmas. Jeff and Alona both praised his good work and Jeff already dreaded Jared’s departure because he wasn’t sure Shadow would still be as accessible as when Jared was gone.

  


“Sure,” Jensen nods.

  


They walk to the stables, their hands entwined. Shadow is in the last stall and Jensen feels his cheeks heat up when he looks at the hay bales on the opposite side and thinks about how he pushed Jared down the other day and blew him. Alona almost caught them but it had been fucking hot. He looks back to Jared and their eyes meet and the way the younger man looks at him he knows exactly what Jensen is thinking.

  


Jared walks over to Jensen and whispers in his ear, “That was the hottest thing I ever did. Well, except for today.”

  


Jensen grins and soon they’re kissing again, Jared with his back pressed against the hay and Jensen’s hand down his pants.

  


“Alona!”

  


The stable door bursts open and Jensen and Jared jump apart. It’s Sophia and when she sees them she grins amused.

  


“Don’t stop on my account, guys,” she says. “I’m happy to watch.”

  


Jensen rolls his eyes at her and Jared blushes deeply, but he shoots her a small grin.

  


“You two are just too adorable,” Sophia laughs and shakes her head. “Sam has dinner ready. So, do you come with me or do you want me to cover for you?”

  


Jensen sighs because honestly, he’d love to ask Sophia to cover for them, but he won’t. “C’mon, Jay. Let’s get something to eat.”

  


Jared says ‘good night’ to Shadow before following them outside.

  
  
 

  


Dinner is relaxed and Misha tells a lot of inappropriate jokes and Jensen watches Jared laughing so hard he almost chokes on his roast beef. It goes on until Sam ask if they couldn’t wait ‘til after dinner because she likes all her guest alive, thank you very much.

  


After dinner they sit together with Chris and Steve, Chad and Sophia, Mike and Tom, Jeff and Sam, Misha, Milo and Alona.

  


Suddenly it hits Jensen that this will be the last night with all of them together. Sophia is scheduled to return to New York the next day. Mike and Tom will leave two days after that and Steve has to be in Nashville by the end of the week. Chad, Chris, Jensen and Jared are scheduled to take the plane back to LA next Saturday.

  


Jensen will miss having nights like this with all of them. They’ve become good friends over the last weeks. Okay, he’ll probably see Sophia, Mike, Tom and Steve again, but it won’t be the same. Jared nuzzles his neck and Jensen tightens his hold on the younger man.

  


Steve takes out his guitar and starts playing some of the songs he’s been writing over the last weeks. Chad and Sophia start dancing first and they look both very sad that Sophia has to go back to New York tomorrow. Jeff and Sam join them and Jensen presses a soft kiss to Jared’s hair.

  


“You wanna dance with me, Jay?” He asks softly. Jared looks up and smiles.

  


“I’d love to dance with you.”

  


Jensen pulls Jared up and into his arms. His hands settle on Jared’s hips, pulling him flush against his body. Jared puts his arms around Jensen’s neck and they rest their foreheads against each other’s. They sway slowly to the soft rhythm Steve is playing. It’s just like the last time, only now Jensen is allowed to touch. He runs his hands slowly over his lovers back, bringing them down to rest shortly above Jared’s ass.

  


Jared starts peppering Jensen’s neck with soft kisses and his fingers play with the soft hair at the nape of Jensen’s neck. They don’t notice that Steve’s playing something faster until Milo pulls them apart and demands that they either get a room or stop grinding against each other. They decided to stop because as much as they want to leave, it’s their last night together with all the people at the ranch and they can fuck later.

  


Milo grabs Jared then and they dance together with Chad and Sophia to the faster rhythms. Jensen is helpless at dancing. He’s glad he can slow dance, but anything faster and he will stumble over his feet and his ass will hit the ground.

  


He drops back down on the couch between Chris and Alona and grabs his beer. Jared is jumping around like crazy with Chad and then Milo whispers something into his ear and Jared throws his head back and laughs. Jealousy spreads in Jensen’s body. He knows that Jared loves him and that Milo has no knowledge of personal space, but still. It makes his blood boil in his veins and he wants to jump Jared in front of everybody just so they know that Jared’s his.

  


Jensen isn’t used to thoughts like that. He’s never been jealous before. Well, he’s never been in love with anyone before like he’s in love with Jared. Jared rolls his hips against Milo’s and Jensen wants to pry him away. His dick is rock hard in his pants and he shifts a little to get relief.

  


Alona sends him an amused look and gets up walking over to Sophia and Chad. She whispers something into their ears and they shoot amused looks at Jensen. Chad walks slowly over to where Jared and Milo are dancing and says something to Milo that Jensen can’t hear. Suddenly Jared is sandwich between them, Chad in front of Jared and Milo behind him.

  


Jared’s hips sway in the rhythm and he looks over Chad’s shoulder at Jensen with heated eyes. Jensen’s fingers itch to touch. He slowly gets up and walks over to where Jared is dancing with Chad and Milo. He wraps his hand around Jared’s wrist feeling the pulse beating frantically beneath his fingers. Jared is flushed and panting and he smiles innocently at Jensen.

  


He leans forward and whispers into Jared’s ear huskily, “I wanna fuck you right the fuck now.” He feels Jared shiver against him, gripping Jensen’s hips. “You can either come with me or I’ll push you against the wall over there and fuck you right here.”

  


Jared’s eyes widen and Jensen wonders for a second if he went too far. But he can’t see fear in Jared’s eyes, just lust, love and trust. They leave the party with short goodbyes to everybody and a promise to Sophia that they would be there to see her leave. The others give them all amused grins and knowing smiles but Jensen doesn’t care.

  


He pulls Jared along the path that leads to their cabin. He opens the door and when Jared walks inside he slams it shut pressing Jared against it.

  


“Do you know how hot you are?” Jensen growls. “God, your smile, your eyes.” His hands push beneath Jared’s tight black t-shirt and Jensen thinks that he really has to thank Sophia for buying Jared new clothes. “This shirt looks so hot.” He licks his tongue over Jared’s neck before sinking his teeth in the soft skin and starts to suck.

  


Jared moans and writhes against to door. “God, Jen… please…”

  


Jensen pulls Jared’s shirt over his head and latches onto one nipple while his hands open Jared’s fly and pull down his zipper. He pushes his hand into his lover’s boxers and wraps his hands around Jared’s already hard cock.

  


“So hot, baby,” he whispers against Jared’s skin while pumping his hand up and down Jared’s cock. “I’m gonna fuck you so good, Jay. Lick you open and then put my hard cock right in that tight little hole of yours.”

  


“Oh God,” Jared breathes, his fingers digging into Jensen’s hips.

  


Jensen pulls away and looks Jared up and down. He looks like the living sin, his eyes are half closed, his cheeks flushed. His pants are open and his cock peaks out of the waistbands of his boxers. Jensen growls, jerks off his shirt and pushes Jared towards the bed.

  


When Jared’s legs connect with the bed, he falls down on it. Jensen pulls pants and boxers down Jared’s lean hips and off his legs, before losing his own pants and boxers.

  


“On your hands and knees, baby,” he says and his voice is dripping with lust.

  


Jared complies and scrambles around until he is sitting in the middle of the bed on his hands and knees. Jensen almost comes at the sight and squeezes the base of his own dick to stave off his orgasm.

  


“God you’re so damn beautiful like this, Jay.”

  


Jensen runs a hand down Jared’s sweaty back to his crack, trailing his fingers slowly over the puckered hole. His hands part Jared’s cheeks revealing the quivering muscle. He wets one of his fingers with spit and runs it over the red rim, before pushing lightly against Jared’s hole.

  


“Jen, please… Jensen,” Jared begs.

  


“Shh, I’m gonna take my time, Jay. Y’know why?” Jared shakes his head weakly. “Because all of this,” Jensen runs his hands over Jared’s body, “is mine and I wanna enjoy it. Are you mine, baby?”

  


“Yours,” Jared sobs. “Please, Jen… please touch me.”

  


Jensen’s fingers skim lightly over the tip of Jared’s cock and Jared bucks his hips. “Shh, Jay… I’m gonna take care of you.”

  


He leans forward and runs his tongue over Jared’s hole, taking in the musky scent. Licking around the rim he wets the tight muscle to ease the way for his fingers. Jensen licks and stabs against the tight hole until he’s able to push his tongue inside. Jared is a quivering mess and he barely stays on his knees. He’s begging constantly for more.

  


Jensen’s tongue is fucking in and out of Jared’s hole, while one of his hands trails down between Jared’s legs and wraps around Jared’s leaking cock stroking it lightly.

  


“Jen, please fuck me… I need…” Jared babbles.

  


Jensen’s other hand reaches over to the lube that’s stashed in the nightstand and pulls it out. He coats his fingers with it, while his tongue is still licking Jared’s insides. When he pulls out Jared moans brokenly before he keens when Jensen pushes two of his lubed fingers inside.

  


“So tight, baby, so damn tight,” Jensen tells Jared quietly. “You should see yourself right now Jay. So damn hot, fucking back on my fingers. You love my fingers in your ass, don’t you, Jay?” Jared nods.

  


He pushes another finger inside, stretching and preparing Jared thoroughly, his own dick threatening to explode if Jensen doesn’t push inside Jared soon. He takes his time stroking Jared’s insides, pressing against his prostate occasionally.

  


“Fuck me, Jen… now… I need you.”

  


How can Jensen say ‘no’ when Jared is begging so pretty? He pulls his fingers out, grabs a condom from the nightstand, puts it on and coats it with lube. Jensen pushes inside Jared’s tight heat in one long thrust and Jared arches his back beneath him.

  


“Yeah, baby, so good.”

  


“Jen, move… fuck me, please.”

  


Jensen does. He pulls back out until the head of this cock catches at the rim before pushing back inside. Jared groans and Jensen speeds up his thrusts.

  


“God, yes, Jen... more…”

  


He plunges in and out of Jared’s ass. Then he pulls his lover up against his chest, licking his tongue across Jared’s sweaty back before sucking a bruise in Jared’s neck. His hand comes around and wraps around Jared’s cock in earnest this time. He jacks Jared hard and fast while hammering into his tight heat.

  


Jared comes first, screaming Jensen’s name, but the way Jared’s ass squeezes around Jensen’s dick sends Jensen over the edge only seconds later, pleasure surging through his body. Jared goes limp in Jensen’s arms and Jensen lays him gently down. The young man is out cold. Jensen pulls out and ties off the condom, before padding into the bathroom to get a wet washcloth.

  


He cleans Jared gently and waits for him to come to. Slowly Jared opens his eyes and when he sees Jensen his face lights up with a bright smile.

  


“Hey,” Jensen whispers worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

  


“Hey,” Jared replies tiredly. “That was… wow. I don’t have words for how hot that was.”

  


“You liked it?” Jensen asks apprehensively.

  


Jared nods quickly. “I sure did.”

  


“Good,” Jensen lets out a relieved breath. “I was kinda afraid that I might have gone too far with my possessiveness. I’ve never been jealous before, but the way you danced with Milo and Chad, something snapped.”

  


Jared grins. “Well, looks like I need to make you jealous more often.”

  


Jensen growls. “Don’t you dare. You’re mine.”

  


“Yours,” Jared agrees seriously. “But I love your possessiveness, makes me feel completely loved and safe.”

  


Jensen’s heart skips a beat and he kisses Jared passionately. “I do love you, Jay,” he says when they part breathlessly. “But now I need to sleep.”

  


Jared nods yawning and settles on his side. Jensen spoons up behind him, pressing a last kiss to Jared’s neck. He falls asleep like this, sated and in love.

  


Little does he know about the dark times awaiting them.


	8. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 7/9+Epilogue

**_Part Two, Los Angeles_ **

  


  
  
 

  


The apartment house is pretty non-descriptive, situated somewhere between Union Station and the convention center. It blends in with all the other non-descriptive grey and brown houses along the way. This is exactly why Roberto Coltrano bought the apartment in the first place. No one would suspect a multi-million dollar mob boss doing business in a neighborhood like this.

  


Roberto uses it meet with business partners and clients without the prying eyes of his minions, the police and FBI or any other organization that might be watching him. A visit to the apartment always has to be planned exactly and Roberto changes cars on his way at least three times, just to be sure. When you’re the mob boss of LA you learn to be cautious. Some would call it paranoia, but Roberto knows better.

  


Normally only one person knows where he is when he decides to do business at the apartment and that’s Alfredo, his second in command and the only person Roberto trusts with his life. Alfredo may know where to find him, but he never knows who Roberto is meeting because all the people coming to the downtown apartment expect complete anonymity and Roberto is willing to grant it.

  


Today he’s waiting for Paul Johansson. The other man called and demanded a private meeting this morning. He insisted that it was very important otherwise Roberto would have suggested they move the meeting to tomorrow, because, as mentioned, it takes some time to set up a plan for Roberto to come to the apartment.

  


Roberto would do a lot for Paul. They’ve been working together for the better of the last twenty years and not once has Paul missed or lost a delivery. Roberto has always been very satisfied with Paul’s work so he’s up to rushing his planning process for Paul, especially when the man insists that life and death depend on it.

  


A small piece of paper is lying in front of Roberto while he waits for Paul. A name is scribbled on it and Roberto curls his hand into a fist. Jensen Ackles. It’s an unusual name and Roberto is sure he won’t forget this name for the rest of his life.

  


This man killed what his son, his Fabrizio, and he will pay for that. As far as Roberto knows Ackles is not in LA right now, his lieutenant and sergeant were quick in hiding him. But Roberto isn’t in a hurry; he would rather see Ackles squirming like a snake for some more weeks than kill him immediately.

  


He holds his lighter to the piece of paper and watches it crumble to ashes in the ashtray. “Soon,” he whispers. Soon, Jensen Ackles will only be a footnote in history.

  


There is a light knock on the door, three times short, three times long and Roberto makes his way over to the door. He looks through the peephole and sees Paul standing on the other side, dressed neatly in his dark blue Armani suit. Roberto opens the door and ushers Paul inside.

  


They shake hands and Roberto leads Paul to the expensive leather couch. He pours them two drinks and hands one of them to Paul. The other man gives him a court nod and sips at the expensive brandy.

  


“It’s good,” Paul acknowledges, sluing the golden liquid in the snifter.

  


Roberto laughs roughly. “It should be. I paid three-hundred for the bottle.” He relaxes back into the armchair and pulls out a cigar. He offers one to Paul.

  


“No thanks, I don’t intend to stay that long.”

  


Roberto shrugs, lightening the cigar. It has a deep and rich taste to it and Roberto inhales the scent. Cigars and expensive brandy are his drugs of choice. Not like all the poor bastards out there buying crack and acid and heroin from Roberto’s dealers. No, if he has to die he’s going out with style.

  


“So, what can I do for you, Paul? You made it sound very urgent at the phone. Something wrong with the delivery?”

  


Paul shakes his head. “Naw, the delivery is fine. Should get here on Tuesday.”

  


Roberto nods appreciatively. He wouldn’t have expected anything less from his old friend. “Then what is it?”

  


Paul gets up and walks towards the windows. He looks outside unbuttoning his suit jacket and Roberto waits. He leans back takes a sip of his brandy and a drag of his cigar. They taste good together. He feels the brandy warming his body while he watches Paul watching the sidewalks.

  


He watches the way Paul rocks back and forth slowly on heels. He watches Paul slowly reaching inside his jacket pulling something out. Roberto can’t see what it is so he waits for Paul to show him and when the other man turns around Roberto’s breath is stuck in his throat.

  


Paul is pointing a Beretta 92 with a silencer at him. His look is ice cold and Roberto wonders for a second what brought this on, but then he knows. He knows exactly why Paul’s here and that he will die today. He sends a short prayer to heaven to make it quick.

  


“Paul, what are you doing?” He asks quietly. “You know my men will find you and kill you.” It can never be wrong to hope.

  


Paul snorts. “They don’t even know I’m here. Officially I’m still in Europe. There is no trace of me coming back early.”

  


Roberto nods. He believes Paul. The other man has always been very thorough. “I understand. Why, Paul?”

  


“Because,” Paul takes two steps towards Roberto, who’s still sitting in the armchair, “a little bird twittered me something about you.”

  


“And what’s that, Paul?”

  


The hand Paul’s holding the gun with is completely still and Paul’s voice is hard and icy. “That you planned to take Jared from me. That you want Jared.”

  


Roberto sighs. What can he say to that? It’s true, he wanted Jared from the moment he saw him for the first time. He saw how beautiful Jared really was and he would treat him with respect, show him the life Paul always refused the young man.

  


“Nobody takes Jared from me,” Paul continues and he’s actually looking a little crazy right now with his wide, dark eyes. “Jared is mine and nobody will ever touch him except for me.” Paul’s voice is calm and quiet and Roberto has to admit that scares the hell out of him.

  


“You don’t even appreciate him,” Roberto argues. “What do you want with Jared when you don’t even appreciate him?”

  


Roberto doesn’t hear the bang when Paul pulls the trigger and he doesn’t feel the bullet hitting him right in the heart. He dies instantly.

  
  
 

  


Paul lowers the gun when Roberto sinks back into the cushions, blood turning his white dress shirt red.

  


“None of your business,” he says into the silent room.

  


He dissembles the gun and puts it back in his suit jacket. He puts on gloves, takes his glass and downs the rest of the brandy. It burns in his throat. It’s good. He cleans the glass in the small kitchen and puts everything back where it belongs. He had been careful not to touch too much and when he’s satisfied how everything looks he walks out of the apartment without another look at Coltrano’s dead body.

  


He still remembers the rage and anger surging through his veins when one of the guys he paid to keep an eye on Coltrano and his business called him and told him what Coltrano was planning. How could he even think Paul would let him get away with it? How could he think that it would be okay to take Jared away from Paul?

  


Paul never would have been able to let this go. He had to make an example out of it. No one fucks with Paul Johansson and what is his. Jared? He’s Paul’s completely.

  


Jared is scheduled to come back to LA in three days and the first thing Paul will be doing is teaching him that lesson.

  
  
 

  


Hide Ranch, two days later

  


Jensen is pounding into the tight heat of Jared’s ass. The young man is writhing beautifully beneath him. His face is flushed, his mouth is half open and his eyes are blown wide. Jensen loves to see his lover like this, loves that he’s the one to make Jared lose it and loves that Jared trusts him so much that he opens up completely.

  


“Don’t stop, Jen… so good,” Jared pants, his fingers digging into Jensen’s hips leaving bruises none of them cares about.

  


“God, I love seeing you like this. You don’t know what you do to me, baby,” Jensen breathes.

  


His hand wanders over to Jared’s rock hard cock. It’s curling beautifully against Jared’s hard abs. Jensen grabs it in his hand and strokes it counter to his thrusts into Jared’s ass.

  


“Jen, oh God… I’m gonna…” Jared moans.

  


“That’s it, baby,” Jensen whispers. “Come for me.”

  


Jared does. He shoots his come hot and wet over Jensen’s hand, his ass squeezing and fluttering around Jensen’s hard cock. Jensen feels his orgasm building in his toes. Jared moans his name brokenly and it’s the most beautiful sound Jensen’s ever heard. He pumps into Jared’s tight heat for a few more seconds before he’s coming too.

  


He collapses on Jared’s chest, panting hotly against his lover’s neck. Jared buries his hands in Jensen’s short hair and holds him while Jensen comes down from his high. When Jensen is finally coherent enough again, he rests his forehead against Jared’s, looking into hazel-gold eyes full of love and adoration.

  


“I love you, Jay,” he whispers against Jared’s lips before sealing his lips over Jared’s and sucking his lover’s bottom lip gently into his mouth.

  


When they part breathlessly, Jensen pulls out and ties off the condom, throwing it in the direction of the trash can. He wipes Jared clean with the washcloth that’s still lying on the floor from when they used it a couple of hours ago. They settle back into the bed with Jared laying half across Jensen and Jensen sighs happily. He has never been big on cuddling after sex but ever since he’s been with Jared he loves lying in bed like this. Just feeling Jared half draped across him makes him smile stupidly.

  


Jared may say that Jensen changed his life for the better, but Jared has definitely changed Jensen’s life too. He never loved someone as much as he loves Jared. Sure, he had a few relationships over the last years, but nothing compares to being with Jared. If he’d believe in soul mates he’d say he found his.

  


“So, I was thinking,” Jensen starts quietly. “When we get back to LA and you don’t have anywhere else to go, I’d really like you to stay with me.”

  


It’s something he thought about ever since Jared told him that he would divorce Paul last week. It’s also something he never considered before. He loves his privacy and he never had been comfortable enough to ask one of his last boyfriends to move in with him.

  


Jared props up on his elbow and looks at Jensen with awe in his eyes. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

  


“I guess I am.” Jensen bites his bottom lip nervously. “Unless you’d rather move in with Chad.”

  


Jared breaks into a blinding grin and he smashes his mouth to Jensen’s in a bruising kiss. His tongue pushes inside and Jensen moans, fisting his fingers in Jared’s soft hair. When Jared pulls back, Jensen’s panting. He smiles.

  


“So, is that a ‘yes’?”

  


Jared nods frantically. “Yes, yes. I’d love to move in with you.”

  


“It’s nothing big, y’know,” Jensen admits. “Just one bedroom, kitchen and living room, but we can look for something else.”

  


Jared shakes his head, still grinning like a loon. “Honestly, you could live in a trailer and I’d still move in with you. I don’t care how big it is. What’s important is that we’re together.”

  


Jensen’s heart swells hearing Jared’s words. He had been a little scared that Jared would think it’s too small for the two of them because he’s used to living in a big house.

  


“I just thought… y’know, you’ve lived in big houses all your life. It’s probably something you need to get used to.”

  


Jared leans forward and brushes his lips gently across Jensen’s. “Jen, I’d rather be happy in a small apartment than live in a big house and be unhappy,” he whispers softly. “I love you, Jensen. I don’t care where we live when you’re with me.”

  


“God, Jay,” Jensen moans pulling Jared across his body. “I love you so frigging much. I’ll never let you go again.”

  


Jared smiles. “I’d hope so.”

  


He settles above Jensen straddling his hips and rubs his crotch against Jensen’s. Jensen bucks up and feels his cock hardening against Jared’s soft skin. Jared’s cock is already hard and brushing over Jensen’s abs.

  


The young man leans down to nibble at Jensen’s earlobe before asking softly. “I wanna ride you. I’ve never done that before, but I’d really like to. Can I, Jen? Can I ride your cock?”

  


Jensen’s eyes roll back into his head and he groans deep in his throat. If someone would have told him that Jared would ask to ride Jensen’s cock yesterday he wouldn’t have believed it. This is like a wet dream, Jared kneeling above him, rubbing his ass over Jensen’s crotch, his hand playing with Jensen’s nipples. When Jensen opens his eyes again, Jared is smiling at him shyly through his bangs.

  


“Can I, Jen?” He asks again, his voice a little uncertain.

  


Jensen grabs Jared’s hips, digging his fingers in soft skin. “God yes, Jay. And you don’t have to ask. Never.”

  


There is a knock on the door but Jensen decides to ignore it and Jared looks as if he hasn’t heard it. He runs his fingertips gently over Jensen’s chest, rubbing over sensitive nipples and tracing muscles down towards Jensen’s cock.

  


“You’re so beautiful, Jen,” Jared says astounded.

  


A second knock is followed by someone banging against the door.

  


“Jensen,” Chris says loudly. “Open the fucking door, man.”

  


“Fuck off, Kane. We’re busy,” Jensen replies. “Don’t stop, Jay. Please, don’t stop.”

  


Jared rolls his hips and grins when Jensen bucks his hips looking for more friction.

  


“Jensen,” Chris yells again. “Pull your cock out of Jared’s ass. This is important.”

  


Something in Chris’ voice tells Jensen that it really is important and he curses loudly. “Damn!” Jared looks down at him disappointed. “Later, baby. I still want you to ride me.” Jared grins and leans down to kiss Jensen passionately before climbing off Jensen’s lap.

  


“Later, then.”

  


“C’mon, Jen. Open the fucking door,” Chris demands and Jensen sighs.

  


He pulls on his shorts, before walking over to the door. Jared disappears in the bathroom and Jensen opens the door.

  


“Hey, Chris. What can I do for you?” Jensen asks letting his best friend know that he doesn’t like being interrupted.

  


Chris walks inside the cabin and wrinkles his nose. “Fuck. It reeks of sex. Maybe you should open a window from time to time.”

  


Jensen sighs again and opens one of the windows. “Satisfied?”

  


“Thanks,” Chris replies and sits down at the table.

  


“So, what’s so damn important that you pull me away from my boyfriend?” Jensen sits down across from Chris.

  


“You’re boyfriend?” Jared asks baffled walking out of the bathroom again. He’s now wearing sweat pants that hang low on his hips and a wife beater and Jensen is once again amazed by how fucking hot Jared is without even knowing it.

  


Jensen sucks his bottom lip in his mouth and nods sheepishly. “Yeah?”

  


Jared smiles and sits down next to Jensen. “I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

  


Jensen grins back. “Great.”

  


“God, could you two stop?” Chris groans. “I’ve something important to tell you.”

  


Jensen and Jared share another loving gaze before Jensen turns back to Chris. “We’re all ears.”

  


“Thank you,” Chris says. “So, I’ve just talked to Sergeant Whitfield.”

  


Jensen feels his heart speed up and Jared grabs one of Jensen’s hands squeezing it supportively. “And?”

  


“Coltrano is dead,” Chris answers.

  


“What?” Jensen asks, eyes widening in shock. “How?”

  


“As far as the public announcement goes he had a stroke,” Chris explains skeptically.

  


“But you don’t believe that,” Jensen guesses.

  


Chris shakes his head. “No. Do you?”

  


Jensen shrugs. “It’s possible. I mean, the guy was in his mid-fifties.”

  


“But this is good news, right?” Jared asks hopefully. “I mean no one would want to kill Jensen anymore, right?”

  


“Hopefully,” Chris nods. “I just… something about this doesn’t seem right.”

  


“Well,” Jensen lets out a deep breath. “If that means I’m out of danger, I’m gonna take it.” He smiles at Jared and then a thought crosses his mind. “Besides that means we don’t have to break into Johansson’s safe anymore.”

  


Chris rubs a hand over his face, before looking at Jared with unreadable eyes. “We could. I mean, it would maybe give us the chance to finally get Johansson behind bars.”

  


“Chris is right,” Jared nods. “If there is something in it we should take the chance.”

  


Jensen sighs. “I just have a real bad feeling about this. I just wish you could come home with me instead of going back to that house.”

  


Jared turns fully towards him and gives him a reassuring smile. “You don’t know how much I want that, but even if we don’t break into that safe I’d still have to go back and tell Paul that I want a divorce.” He leans forward and plants a chaste kiss on Jensen’s lips. “It’s okay, Jen. We can do it. I can do it.”

  


“I know you can, Jay. This has nothing to do with me doubting you,” Jensen insists. “It’s about the pit in my stomach telling me to stay as far away from Paul as we can.” He rests his elbows on his knees. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. Maybe you could just call him.”

  


Chris gets up. “I’ll let you two decide what we’ll do, I’m okay with everything. Just let me know later, so I can call my friend.” He pats Jensen’s shoulder before leaving.

  


  
  
 

  


Jared watches Chris leave and sighs. He really needs to make Jensen see that he has to do this the way he wants it.

  


“Jen, I really need to do this, y’know. I need to walk in there and tell Paul that I’m leaving.”

  


“Why?” Jensen asks, voice wavering. “You could just call and tell him that you aren’t coming back.”

  


“No,” Jared shakes his head. “I need to look him in the eye when I tell him I want a divorce. It’s just something I need to do, for me. To finally get the feeling that I’m in control of my life.”

  


He can imagine that it’s not easy for Jensen to understand why Jared needs to do this because Jensen has been in control for his whole life. Jared hasn’t and this is a way to take back some of it.

  


“I just don’t like it, Jay,” Jensen takes a deep breath. “What if Paul flips out and hurts you?”

  


Jared shakes his head. “He won’t. He never hurt me before, Jen.”

  


Jensen’s eyes widen and he jumps up from his chair. “What do you call fucking you without prep? What’s that?” he asks angrily.

  


“That’s different,” Jared sighs.

  


“No it’s not, Jay.” Jensen shakes his head looking towards the ceiling.

  


“Jen,” Jared begs quietly. “Please. I need to do this for myself. I need you to support me. I can’t do it, when you’re not having my back.” He feels tears burning behind his eyes and he curses inwardly. He had been doing so good with not crying.

  


Jensen looks down and sinks to his knees in front of Jared, cupping his face between his hands. “Listen to me, Jay. I will always have your back, if we agree or not. I will always be there to support you with whatever you decide. You hear me?” He asks forcefully and Jared nods.

  


“Yeah, okay. Thanks,” Jared answers relieved.

  


Leaning his forehead against Jared’s, Jensen brushes his thumb over Jared’s bottom lip. Jared’s tongue peaks out, licking coyly at the digit.

  


“Okay, now that’s settled you tell me if you want me and Chris to break into the safe,” Jensen breaks the silence.

  


Jared thinks about what might be in the safe and what will happen to Paul if they find something. He slowly realizes that he doesn’t care. If Paul really did all that, he deserves to be put away.

  


“Yeah, I want to know what’s in the safe and if Paul really did what the police is accusing him off,” Jared says determined.

  


“Okay, good,” Jensen sighs and Jared knows that he still isn’t fond of the plan. “I’ll tell Chris later. Tomorrow we fly to LA and break into Paul Johansson’s safe. Let’s just hope it’s worth it.”

  


Jensen gets up and Jared follows suite. He tackles the older man and they fall down on the bed.

  


“I believe I told you I wanna do something to you,” he whispers huskily.

  


“I believe you did,” Jensen answers in a deep and rough voice.

  


They scramble out of their clothes until their completely naked. Jared is already straddling Jensen’s hips again, brushing his ass over Jensen’s rapidly growing cock. He himself is getting hard by the second. Ever since they started making love Jared wanted to be on top, fuck himself on Jensen’s beautiful cock.

  


“When we get back to LA we need to get tested because I wanna feel your come in my ass so bad,” he says, leaning forward and nuzzling Jensen’s neck.

  


“God, Jay,” the older man groans.

  


Jared trails kisses down Jensen’s chest, licking and sucking at already hard nipples and Jensen’s fingers sink into his hair, gripping.

  


“You taste so good,” Jared breathes against Jensen’s skin. He’s never been allowed to talk in bed and now that he is, that Jensen encourages it, it’s liberating. “Could lick you forever.”

  


He scoots further down and finally sucks Jensen’s cock into his mouth, running his tongue around the velvety head. Feeling Jensen’s hard length on his tongue, Jared knows that he loves sucking cock, well Jensen’s cock. He loves the way Jensen tastes, musky and manly and just like Jensen.

  


“Jay, your mouth, baby… love your mouth,” Jensen babbles and Jared bops up and down for a few times before pulling away with a soft plop.

  


Jensen moans in disappointment but Jared is already fumbling with the condom. He puts it on Jensen’s wet dick and positions himself directly over it. Slowly, he sinks down on Jensen’s rock hard dick. He’s still open from the two times they did this already today but he’s still amazed at feeling Jensen inside him.

  


“Yes, Jay… so tight, so good.”

  


Jensen lets his hands roam over Jared’s chest when Jared starts to fuck himself on Jensen’s cock in earnest. The angle is right and it brushes over Jared’s prostate on every stroke. He won’t last long; can already feel his orgasm tingling in his toes and Jensen seems to know it too. He wraps his hand around Jared’s leaking cock and pumps it up and down.

  


“Jen, oh God… so good,” Jared moans, speeding up the rhythm.

  


His orgasm surprises Jared and he shoots hot spurts over Jensen’s hand. The older man pumps up into Jared’s for a few more times and then he’s coming, too, bowing his back. Slowly Jared comes down from his high, clumsily climbing off Jensen’s lap. He’s drained, but happy. They clean up and when Jensen pulls him into his arms Jared is almost asleep. He nuzzles Jensen’s chest, slinging his arm over it.

  


Two more days and the rest of his life with Jensen can start.

  
  
 

  


The drive to the airport is silent. Jared is sitting next to Jensen in the passenger seat, looking out of the window and watching the landscape fly by. His fingers play gently with the hair at nape of Jensen’s neck, sending slight shivers through Jensen’s body. But he will be damned to tell Jared to stop. He enjoys the gentle reassurance that they’re going to be okay, even back in LA.

  


Chad and Chris are in the car behind them. There had been a little argument about who drives with whom since they had two rentals at the ranch. But in the end Chris and Chad had both relented and agreed to drive Chad’s rental back to the airport.

  


Sam, Jeff, Alona, Misha and Milo had seen them off in the early light of dawn. There would be new guest arriving at the ranch soon but Alona told them that they had been some of the best guests they ever had at the ranch and that she would be very disappointed if they never saw them again.

  


Jensen thinks it might be nice to return to the ranch one day without all the reasons and the problems that got them there the first time. Maybe he can convince Jared to come back here for Christmas. It’d be nice to see the whole ranch covered in snow. Maybe he could show Jared how to ski.

  


Because it had been so damn early in the morning Sam had made them food packages for the drive. They all had a coffee, or in Jensen’s case three, and some pancakes. Sam insisted that they take provisions. They had stopped an hour ago at a little picnic area and devoured most of it. Jensen will really miss Sam’s cooking.

  


“I love you, y’know that?” Jared’s voice is soft and full of love.

  


Jensen looks over and sees a gentle smile displayed on Jared’s face. He reaches behind and tugs at Jared’s hand, bringing it to his mouth, kissing it sweetly. “I know and I love you too.”

  


“You changed my whole life, Jen,” Jared continues. “You made it worth living again.”

  


“Jay,” Jensen breathes.

  


“I just wanted you to know that for the first time in my life, I’m very happy,” Jared says gratefully.

  


“I’m happy too, baby,” Jensen replies.

  


“Y’know, I love it when you call me that,” Jared chuckles happily.

  


Jensen shoots him a grin. “You do?”

  


“Yeah,” the younger man nods, “I’ve never liked nicknames like ‘baby’. But with you I do. Makes me feel loved.”

  


Jensen’s heart swells with love and he presses another kiss to the back of Jared’s hand. “After tomorrow begins the rest of our lives together and I swear I’ll make it my duty to show you how much you’re loved every single day, baby.”

  


Jared laughs softly. “I can’t wait, Jen.”

  


He cuddles into his seat bringing his hand back to Jensen’s neck, resuming his stroking. Jensen feels Jared’s eyes on him and it makes him hot all over, his cock growing hard in his jeans. He wriggles a little to get some relief and Jared’s eyes trail down to Jensen’s crotch.

  


“You hard for me in your pants, Jen?” He asks innocently. Jensen bites his bottom lip and nods. “You want me to take care of that?”

  


“Now?” Jensen’s squeals breathlessly.

  


“If you want, Jen. It’s your call.” Jared’s voice is rough and deep and full of lust.

  


Jensen looks around. The street is almost empty except for a car in front of them and Chad and Chris behind them. So he nods and the thought alone is so damn hot that he almost comes right then and there.

  


“You want my mouth Jen, or my hand? Tell me how to make you come.”

  


Sometimes Jensen wonders how it happened that Jared changed from this shy young man who didn’t like sex, to this confident, sexy young man who loves sex in practically a blink of an eye. But then Jared works open his fly and he decides that he doesn’t care. He’s just glad that it happened.

  


“Tell me, Jen,” Jared asks again.

  


“Your hand, Jay and then your mouth,” Jensen is panting and he forces himself to look out front and not at Jared’s hand closing around his hot, hard dick in a tight fist. “Oh baby…” he moans, his fingers curling tightly around the steering wheel.

  


Jared tugs at Jensen’s jeans and Jensen lifts his hips to help Jared pull it over his ass. Then, Jared’s hand is back, stroking and twisting Jensen’s dick. Jensen is biting his bottom lip again to keep the control he still has.

  


“God Jen, so hot,” Jared groans and Jensen risks a short look at Jared’s crotch. He’s hard as well and Jensen moans. Jared followed his gaze and sends him a knowing smirk, bringing his other hand down to his own cock. In a second his fly is open and he shoves his pants and boxers over his hips.

  


The car wavers a little and Jensen curses, jerking his head back to the street. If it weren’t for Chad and Chris in the car behind them and the plane waiting for them in Denver, he’d stop right here at the side of the road, bend Jared over the hood of the car and fuck him for all people to see.

  


Out of the corner of his eye Jensen can see that Jared has wrapped his long fingers around his own cock and is jerking himself in the same rhythm he’s jerking Jensen.

  


“God, I really wish you’d fuck me right now,” Jared says breathlessly. “You feel so good inside of me Jen, all hard and big.”

  


“Damn Jay, you trying to kill me?”

  


Jared chuckles. “You close, Jen?” Jensen nods because it’s so damn hard concentrating on the street, when his orgasm is boiling in his belly. “Me too.” Jared jerks them faster.

  


They come almost at the same time, shooting hot over Jared’s hands and their bellies and Jensen has troubles to keep the car on the right side of the street. But he manages. He’s still in a haze when he feels Jared leaning forward into his lap and licking away the evidence of Jensen’s orgasm.

  


“God, Jay,” Jensen moans, his spend cock twitching. It’s so damn hot. “What are you doing?”

  


Jared takes his time to clean him off before replying smugly, “You said you wanted my mouth.”

  


Jensen is speechless and lets Jared tuck his dick back into his pants in silence. He really wants to kiss Jared right now but that would probably mean they end up in a ditch. Jared settles back into the seat and grins sated at Jensen.

  


“When did you change from the shy little boy I met my first night at the ranch, to the hot, kinky guy who’s sitting next to me?” Jensen asks, still a little out of breath. He doesn’t even think anything about it until he notices how long Jared is silent.

  


“I… I… you don’t like it?” Jared stutters, his voice full of uncertainty.

  


Jensen curses himself inwardly for even bringing it up. He reaches over to run his hand gently over Jared’s thigh. “I like it, Jay. Honestly, it’s frigging hot. I was just wondering. But believe me I fucking love it.”

  


Jared relaxes under Jensen’s hand. “It’s all you, Jen. I’ve never thought sex could be like this. There is so much I already love and so much I wanna try when we’re finally back in LA and that’s all because of you, Jen.”

  


Jensen shoots Jared a soft smile. “I love you, Jay.”

  


Jared smiles back gently. He looks tired and Jensen tells him to sleep until they get to the airport. Jared nods yawning and lays his hand on Jensen’s thigh to keep the contact. Jensen is so damn happy right now he could burst. This is perfect.

  
  
 

  


The flight is uneventful, well except for the blowjob Jensen gives Jared in the restroom. They’ve tried to have sex, but it was just too small for two guys over six feet. But the blowjob was still pretty damn amazing. The looks they received from the other passengers were a little embarrassing, though.

  


As soon as the flight lands, Jared feels his relaxation and comfort slipping away and he thinks back to the yoga and breathing lessons Misha gave him. Jensen slips his hand into Jared’s and squeezes encouragingly. He seems to know exactly what Jared is feeling.

  


He might have told Jensen that he has to tell Paul face to face that he wants a divorce, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scared. Paul has never taken Jared seriously and even though Jared is sure that Paul won’t hurt him physically, he’s still pretty sure that it won’t be easy to convince Paul that this is what Jared wants.

  


They walk down the gangway, Chris next to Jensen and Chad next to Jared. They agreed to part shortly after leaving the plane so that no one would suspect them working together. Jensen’s hand curls tighter around Jared’s the closer they get to the parting point.

  


James, Paul’s nephew will be waiting behind the luggage claim and they both know that it wouldn’t do any good if James would learn about them right now.

  


When they stop Chris pulls Jared into a quick hug. It surprises Jared a little, but it’s nice nonetheless. “I’ll see you later.”

  


Jared nods and watches Chad shake Jensen’s hand. Chris and Chad walk away, giving Jared and Jensen some privacy. Jensen looks up to him with intense eyes and brushes his thumb over Jared’s bottom lip.

  


“You call when you get there, okay? If anything seems out of the ordinary we’ll call it off,” Jensen says seriously.

  


“Yes, I know,” Jared nods and leans down to press a soft kiss to Jensen’s lips. “I’ll see you later,” he grins. “I love you.”

  


“Love you too, baby,” Jensen grins back. “I would feel better, if I could go with you though.” He plays with the silver necklace around Jared’s neck. “I’ll see you soon.”

  


Jared throws his arms around Jensen’s neck and pulls him into a tight embrace. “Everything is going to be fine and tomorrow we can start our life together.”

  


They kiss again, soft and gentle. This time it’s not about sex. This time it’s about connection and the promise that they have a whole life ahead of them. Jensen pulls away first, strokes Jared’s cheek gently and walks over to Chris. They leave without Jensen looking back. Jared knows it’s just show but it feels a little like Jensen is walking away from him.

  


He sighs and Chad is at his side immediately, pulling him into a supporting hug. “He loves you, man,” Chad says and Jared wonders how Chad knows him so well. “When you settle the thing with Paul, Jensen is waiting for you.”

  


Jared nods. “Yeah, you’re right.” He swallows hard. “It’s just… at the ranch it was easy to believe y’know, without our problems in close distance. But here back in LA real life is going to get us back eventually and I’m just a little nervous that it won’t work the way we’ve imagined.”

  


Chad throws his arm around Jared’s shoulders and pulls him towards the baggage claim. “You’re meant to be, Jaybird. Now with me and Sophia it’s different, but you and Jensen are epic.”

  


“You really like Sophia, huh?” Jared asks amused, thinking about all the other girls Chad dated over the years.

  


Chad shrugs. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’ll work out, y’know. She has her life in New York and mine’s here.”

  


“You can make it work if you want to,” Jared says and Chad laughs.

  


“Same goes for you, dude.”

  


They get their baggage and Jared sees Jensen and Chris waiting for their own bags on the opposite side of the baggage claim. Jensen laughs at something Chris said and then turns to look directly at Jared. He smiles gently, but otherwise shows no sign of recollection. Jared smiles back and thinks that tomorrow it’ll all be different.

  


James is waiting in the concourse and he waves, grinning at Jared when he sees him. He looks neat in his grey Armani suit and short, black hair. Chad’s still walking next to Jared and groans. It’s not that Chad doesn’t like James in general. It’s more the fact that Chad despises everything that’s connected to Paul in any way.

  


In the beginning when Paul just announced their marriage James had been very depreciative of Jared. He didn’t really believe that Jared loved Paul and thought he was only after Paul’s money. He said as much once when they were having dinner together. Paul told him about the prenup they signed and that Jared wouldn’t get one cent if he ever wanted to divorce Paul.

  


It didn’t convince James. What convinced him in the end was Jared’s contained behavior and shyness around people. He had told him that sometime last year. Ever since, James was nothing short of nice and tried to get Jared to open up and relax around him. However Jared couldn’t find it in himself to trust James the way he trusted Ryan or Chad or now, Jensen. James is still Paul’s nephew and they’re working closely together at Paul’s company.

  


“Hey, Jared,” James greets him, grinning broadly. “You look good, relaxed.”

  


“I am,” Jared replies and is surprised how calm his voice sounds. “I had a good time.”

  


James’ eyes widen in surprise, when Jared speaks calmly without stuttering, but then he grins even broader. “I so believe you.”

  


“Okay, Jared. I have to get going,” Chad interrupts. Jared turns and hugs his friend goodbye. “I’ll call you later.”

  


“Okay, see you, Chad.” Then his best friend is gone and Jared is alone with James.

  


“So,” James says trying to take Jared’s bag from but Jared refuses. “How did you like it at the ranch? Did you make some new friends? I didn’t know that Chad accompanied you.”

  


Jared shrugs. “He didn’t. He came to the ranch a day later to keep me company. And yes, I really liked it at the ranch.” He smiles dreamily. “There were some nice people there.”

  


James shakes his head baffled. “You changed a lot. I like it. It’s nice to hear you talking more than two words in a row.”

  


Jared blushes. That’s something he isn’t able to stop. “Thanks.”

  


“C’mon, we’ll get you home.”

  


James leads him outside and to the parking lot. His Corvette is parked at the far end and they walk in silence towards the car. While they make their way through LA’s traffic, James asks Jared more about the ranch. Jared however, tries to answer as evasive as possible to not give away too much even though he’d like to scream from the rooftops that he’s in love.

  


It takes them over an hour to get to Paul’s house in the Hollywood Hills. When James turns to drive up the driveway Jared looks around. It hasn’t changed at all. The house is sitting silently at the end of the driveway. No car is in sight and the garage door is closed, just like it’s supposed to be, and still Jared’s heart starts beating quicker in his chest.

  


“You want me to keep you some company?” James asks and Jared snaps out of his thoughts.

  


“No,” he shakes his head. “I think I’m gonna take a nap. Besides Paul will be back tomorrow around noon. It’s okay. But thanks though.”

  


Jared gets out of the car when James calls, “Hey, Jared?” He turns around and looks at the other man with raised eyebrows. “How about we go get a drink sometime?”

  


“Sounds good,” he replies, even though he knows he won’t be here tomorrow.

  


He watches James drive away and slowly walks over to the house, unlocking the door. It’s silent and nothing is out of the ordinary. He curses Jensen inwardly for making him paranoid. Jared drops his bag in the hallway and his steps echo through the house when he makes his way over to the kitchen.

  


Slowly he grabs a glass out of the cabinet and fills it with cold water. Sipping it slowly he unlocks the back door so that Jensen and Chris can come right in. When the glass his empty he puts it in the sink. He’ll clean it later.

  


Jared makes his way back into the hall, grabs his bag and walks upstairs to the bedroom he shares with Paul. He puts it on the bed and takes out the piece of paper Jensen wrote his number on. He walks to look out of the window, before dialing and listening to it ring. It rings three times before Jensen answers.

  


“Hey, baby. You got to Paul’s okay?” He asks quietly.

  


“Yeah, everything went okay. James seemed really surprised that I was talking to him, though,” Jared explains.

  


Jensen chuckles. “He’d better get used to it.” Jared listens to Jensen take a deep breath. “So, everything clear over there?”

  


“Yeah, I’m alone,” he sighs. “I can’t wait to see you, Jen. I already miss you.”

  


“Miss you too, Jay,” he whispers. “We’re at Chris’ friend right now, but we’ll be on our way shortly, okay?”

  


“Good. I’ve unlocked the back door for you,” Jared tells him while he watches the trees in Paul’s yard sway in the wind.

  


“Great. An hour tops and I’ll be with you. Love you Jay, so much,” Jensen replies.

  


“I love you, too, Jen. See you later.”

  


They disconnect the call and Jared smiles. Jensen still loves him. Jensen still wants him. He turns around to put the phone back on the nightstand and freezes on the spot. Paul is standing in the doorway, looking at Jared with dark, crazy eyes and Jared is certain that Paul just heard everything he said.

  


“Hello, pet,” he says icily.

  


“Paul?” Jared hates how his voice wavers.

  


“Didn’t think I’d be home already, did you?” Paul asks. His face is contorted in anger and Jared shakes his head slowly, swallowing hard.

  


The fear he always felt for this man is back and paralyzes him. He has never seen Paul like this, so livid. The older man’s eyes are blown wide and he bristles with anger.

  


“I…” Jared starts, but then Paul’s fist connects with his jaw and he tumbles back. Pain shoots through his head and he thinks that Jensen was right. Paul is going to hurt him.

  


“Shut up you worthless little slut!” Paul yells, curling his fingers around Jared’s throat and jerks him through the room. Jared stumbles and his back connects with one of the sideboards. For a second he can’t breathe and the pain is so great that he has the feeling he’s going to black out any minute. He sinks to the floor panting for breath and Paul kicks him in the ribs. Jared groans in pain and tries to cover himself with his arms. “Is that why you didn’t answer the phone at the ranch anymore, huh? Did you whore yourself out?”

  


Slowly, Jared comes back to his senses and tries to stand up. It costs him a lot of strength, but finally he’s standing on his feet again. “I didn’t whore myself out!” He yells back. It’s the first time he yelled at Paul and the older man seems truly surprised. “I’m gonna leave you. I want a divorce.”

  


Paul laughs insanely. “A divorce?” He punches Jared in the face again and the young man feels his lip split. Pain is flowing freely through his body and he falls to the ground again. “You’ll never get away from me. Never. You’re mine. I bought you.”

  


Jared shakes his head furiously. “No. I’m not yours and I never will be. I love Jensen.” Another kick connects with his stomach and Jared groans. Then he feels Paul wrap his fingers around the necklace Jensen gave him and yanks it off Jared’s neck.

  


“Did he give this to you?” Paul curls his fingers into a fist and throws the necklace across the room. “When I’m through with you he won’t even look at you. You are mine, whore. Mine alone and no one is ever going to touch you.”

  


“NO!” Jared yells back.

  


“That’s not your choice, kitten,” Paul says sickly sweet, curling his fingers in Jared’s t-shirt, pulling him up. “Gerry sold you to me.” Jared shakes his head. “You wanna know what he received in return?” Jared tries to scramble away but Paul pushes him over to the bed “You know I love it when you fight me. So you wanna know what your dad got for you?” Jared still shakes his head.

  


“No,” he grits out.

  


“Oh, but I’ll tell you anyway. He got the information where to find your real father.” Jared’s eyes open in shock. “That’s right, pet. Gerry is not your dad. You’re mom wanted to leave your dad when she was pregnant with you but Gerry found out and he took care of your real dad.”

  


“No,” Jared begs. “No.”

  


“Oh yes.” Paul laughs sardonically. “That’s why he treated you like the worthless little bastard you are all your life.” Paul leans down and runs his tongue over Jared’s cheek and the young man thinks he might just throw up. “And now I’m gonna make sure you’ll understand what it means to belong to me. I promise you, you’re precious Jensen will not even look at you anymore when I’m done with you.”

  


One hand flies to Jared’s pants and yanks them open. Jared tries to fight, tries to push Paul off, but the guy is Jared’s height and he has good twenty pounds on Jared.

  


“Fight all you want pet. I like it,” Paul growls and jerks Jared’s jeans down his hips. “And now, turn around.”

  


“NO!” Jared yells and bucks his hips.

  


Paul falls to the side and Jared pushes off the bed. His pants fall to his knees and they prevent him from getting out of Paul’s reach fast enough. Paul’s hand wraps around Jared’s wrist, pulls him back and suddenly Jared finds himself face first on the bed. Paul’s on him, securing Jared’s arms behind his back with one hand and once again sitting across Jared’s legs. The young man tries to wriggle out of the grasp but Paul’s hold is strong and Jared has no leverage.

  


He hears the zipper of Paul’s pants and his blood runs cold. Until now this had only been a bad dream, but now it becomes Jared’s hell. He feels something tug at his exposed hole and he thinks about Jensen, how gentle and loving the other man always prepared Jared. He thinks about Jensen’s smile and his kisses.

  


Pain splits him in two and he screams. He screams until his voice is raw and he goes limp beneath Paul’s constant pounding in his body. It’s easier to just lie like this, to just take it. But suddenly Jensen’s face is in front of his eyes and Jared knows he needs to fight. If he ever wants Jensen to be able to look at him again, he needs to fight. That’s when he notices his hands are free.

  


The pain is excruciating and Jared fights unconsciousness. His hands are flailing around in search of something he can use as a weapon. The fingers of his right hand touch the lamp that’s standing on the night stand. Jared knows it has a massive base and he wraps his fingers around the lamp and yanks. It’s free and very heavy, but Paul seems in a haze, still pounding in and out of Jared’s bruised body.

  


With the last of his strength, Jared turns and crashes the lamp on Paul’s head. For a second it looks like Paul might stay conscious, but then he falls forward burying Jared beneath his body. Paul’s still inside Jared and when he pulls free it hurts like hell. He scrambles out from beneath Paul’s body and runs out of the room. He has to get out of here, has to get away.

  


He runs towards the stairs, his jeans loosely hanging on his hips. Paul can wake up anytime and Jared is sure that he won’t survive if Paul catches him again. He runs and suddenly he gets caught in the cuffs of his jeans. He stumbles, the stairs are right there and then he’s falling. Even more pain shoots through his body and Jared tries to find some leverage to stop falling further down the stairs but there is nothing.

  


It feels like eternity and Jared’s body is a hurting mess when he reaches the bottom of the stairs. He’s seeing stars, lying in a crumpled heap, hurting too much to even consider moving. So, he gives in to the darkness that is tugging on the edges of his consciousness and his last thought is about Jensen and their life together.

  
  
 

  


Jensen is tapping his fingers anxiously against his thigh. He’s waiting in the car while Chris talks to his friend. When Jensen asked for the name, Chris snorted and told him that he’d have to kill him if he told him. But when Jensen raised his eyebrows demandingly, Chris told him to call the guy ‘Lind’.

  


They got here about fifteen minutes ago and Chris told him to stay in the car while he gets the things needed from Lind. For a second, Jensen wonders how Chris knows a guy who can hook them up with everything needed to break into a high security safe, but then he thinks he’d rather not know.

  


He just got off the phone with Jared and he can’t wait to see the younger man again. It’s only been a little over an hour, but Jensen already misses Jared like a limb. For the last few weeks they’ve been pretty much welded together at the hips and only separated for a few minutes. Now it feels like Jensen might go insane if he doesn’t see Jared soon and make sure he’s alright.

  


The door to the shabby apartment house opens and Chris walks outside with a heavy looking backpack in his arms. He opens the passenger door in the rear and drops the backpack on the floor before taking his seat next to Jensen on the passenger seat.

  


“We can go,” he says gruffly and Jensen turns the key in the ignition.

  


The car sputters to life and Jensen drives them out on the street. They drive in silence, they don’t need to talk. They both know what they’re about to do. If this goes wrong, they will both be charged with breaking and entering and will, without a doubt, lose their jobs and face prison.

  


“You talked to Jared?” Chris’ deadly calm voice cuts through the charged atmosphere of the car.

  


“Yeah, everything is looking good. He unlocked the backdoor for us,” Jensen answers quietly, keeping his eyes on the traffic.

  


“Good.” Chris looks out of the window, rubbing his hand over his jeans clad thigh.

  


It takes them almost an hour to get to Paul’s house in Hollywood Hills and Jensen drives up the driveway and parks the car at the far end. It’ll be hidden from unbidden eyes, behind the large cypresses, that decorate the front yard.

  


The house is huge and white, in a modern style with large windows and three steps leading to the large front door. Jensen and Chris follow the gravel path that leads to the back of the house. They find a large terrace surrounded by marble statues. The back yard is sheltered by large hedges and more cypresses.

  


Jensen walks up to the backdoor and turns the doorknob. It opens without any sound and they walk into a spotless kitchen. It’s big, with the cooking area in the middle and its cupboards appointed with Italian granite countertops.

  


Their steps echo softly on the marble floor when they make their way through the kitchen. A shiver runs down Jensen’s spine and he takes his gun out of the waistband of his jeans, gesturing for Chris to do the same. They’ve done this countless times and Chris always trusts Jensen’s instincts. Jensen’s hunches saved their lives on more than one occasion.

  


Jensen isn’t even sure what caused him to draw his gun. There is just this pit in his stomach telling him that something isn’t right. Maybe it’s because Jared isn’t waiting for them, maybe it’s something else, but Jensen definitely knows that something is wrong.

  


They make their way slowly to the hall, their guns in front of them leading the way. Jensen hears Chris shocked intake of breath before he sees Jared lying in a crumpled heap on the floor in a torn t-shirt and jeans. He wants to run over to the man he loves but police training kicks in and makes him check every possible hiding place.

  


Chris covers his back and makes his way over to the stairs while Jensen finally sinks to his knees next to Jared on the floor. His first move is to find Jared’s pulse and thank God it’s beating steadily beneath Jared’s skin. Jensen softly pushes the hair out of Jared’s face, seeing a black eye and a split lip. He turns Jared around so that his head is lying in Jensen’s lap and gently strokes his boyfriends face. Beneath the torn fabric Jensen sees bruises covering Jared’s chest and the fly of his jeans is open. Finger shaped bruises are visibly just above the waistband and Jensen swallows down the lump that’s building rapidly in his throat.

  


“God, baby. What did he do to you?” He whispers while he pulls out his cell to dial 911. He’s telling the operator that he needs an ambulance when Chris appears on the balcony.

  


“Two, Jen,” he says loud enough for Jensen to hear. “I’ve found Paul. He’s unconscious and has a severe looking head wound.”

  


Jensen feels fury burn in his belly and he wants to go upstairs and beat the shit out of Paul but he stays with Jared. Jared needs him now. He leans forward whispering how much he loves Jared and tells him that they will get through this together and that he’s proud that Jared fought back. The young man shows no sign of consciousness and Jensen runs his fingers through Jared’s hair. He comes in contact with something sticky and when Jensen pulls his hand away it’s red with blood.

  


Chris made his way downstairs and lays a supporting hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “Jen, there is something you should know.”

  


“What?” Jensen asks looking up from Jared’s torn body.

  


“From the state they’re both in I think Paul might have raped Jared,” Chris says sadly.

  


“What?” Jensen stutters shocked. His stomach is turning upside down and has to take a deep breath to keep himself from puking all over the floor. He looks down to where bruises are visible just above Jared’s waistband. They make so much more sense now, just like the open jeans. Anger blurs Jensen’s gaze and his fingers curl into fists. He’s gonna tear Paul apart. “Go back to him, Chris,” he grits out. “Watch him.”

  


Chris nods. “Yeah, okay. I’m gonna call for forensics to secure the crime scene.” He makes his way back upstairs.

  


“I want him arrested,” Jensen calls after him. “And I don’t want him anywhere near Jared. You got me?”

  


Chris turns and nods again. “I’ll see to it at once.”

  


Two minutes later four EMT are walking inside the house. Two go straight upstairs where Chris is gesturing for them. The other two walk over to Jensen and Jared.

  


“What happened?” The one with blond hair asks.

  


“I don’t know,” Jensen says and his voice wavers. “We found him like this. I’m Detective Jensen Ackles with the Los Angeles Police Department.” He pulls out his badge and shows it to the medics. “We have reason to believe that this man was raped.” Jensen can’t believe how professional his voice sounds all of a sudden, all distant and hard. It’s better than to breakdown though.

  


The EMTs nod and get to work on Jared. Ten minutes later he's loaded into the ambulance. Chris tells Jensen to go with Jared while he himself would stay here and wait for their colleagues to come and investigate the crime scene. Paul has been taken away with the second ambulance and hospital security has been informed that he’s a suspect in a domestic violence case.


	9. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 8/9+Epilogue

  
  
 

  


When they get to the hospital, Jared is immediately taken away for examination into ICU and Jensen is sent to a waiting room. He paces the room unable to stand still.

This is his fault. If he hadn’t let Jared go back to Paul’s house, if he had just been more convincing, this never would have happened. He told Jared that he would never let Paul hurt him ever again and now, look what happened. He had failed and Jared had paid the price.

Jensen should have known what Paul is capable of. He should have known that the guy would never let Jared leave without putting up a fight. He should have known… he just should have fucking known.

He punches the wall with his fist and the pain stings and it helps. He does it again. If he can’t punch Paul, he can at least punch something. After that he does it a third and a fourth time, until a gentle hand wraps around his wrist.

“Dude, stop.”

Jensen turns towards the person stopping him from punishing himself. It’s Chad. He looks at Jensen with sympathetic eyes that are full of pain and uncertainty for Jared. Jensen lets his hand fall and for the first time he registers that his knuckles are bloody. The wall is bloody, too.

“Chris called me and told me to get here. What happened?” Chad asks anxiously.

Jensen shakes his head. “I… I don’t know. I just found him at the bottom of the stairs, lying there in a crumpled heap. Paul was upstairs unconscious. Chris said he had a head wound. There has to have been a fight. I…” Jensen lowers his head, resting it in his palms.

“Have the doctors said anything?”

“No,” Jensen shakes his head again. “They took him away as soon as we got here.”

Chad leans back in his seat and together they wait. It’s another hour before a doctor walks into the room.

“Detective Ackles?” He asks.

Jensen stands up and the man with thinned out dark hair walks over to them. “My name is Dr. Kripke. I’m Mr. Johansson’s attending.”

“How is he?” Chad rushes to say.

“Are you family of Mr. Johansson?” Dr. Kripke asks skeptically.

“No,” Chad shakes his head. “I’m Chad Murray, Jared’s best friend.”

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Kripke says calmly. “I can’t tell you anything besides that Mr. Johansson is in surgery right now.”

“Dr. Kripke,” Jensen says as calmly as he can, “It looks like a crime happened here. I’m asking you kindly to share anything the police might need to know.”

Kripke nods. “Follow me to my office, please.” Jensen shoots an apologetic look at Chad when he follows Kripke out of the waiting room and into a small office. The doctor offers him a seat and sits down on the opposite side of the desk. “Well, we think that a lot of Mr. Johansson’s injures come from a heavy fall, but other bruises also indicate that he’s been badly beaten before that. We also found tearing in his rectum.”

Jensen’s eyes widen in shock. “Wait. Tearing in his rectum? So that means…,” Jensen swallows hard to keep the nausea at bay. “He really has been raped.”

Dr. Kripke nods sympathetic. “Yes, that seems very likely. He’s been examined and we’re putting together a full file for the police right now.”

“Can I talk to him?” Jensen asks. He needs to see Jared like right the fuck now and make sure that everything is going to be okay again.

“No,” Dr. Kripke shakes his head. “Like I said, he’s in surgery. The doctors are doing everything they can for him.”

“I wanna see the rape kit,” Jensen demands.

Kripke nods. “I’ll get it to you once it’s finished.”

“Thanks. I’ll be in the waiting room.”

Jensen walks slowly back to the waiting room. Tears are burning behind his eyes but he refuses to let them fall. Chad is sitting in the same chair like before and jumps up when Jensen walks inside.

“What did he say?” Chad asks desperately.

Jensen sits down rubbing his hands over his face. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees before he starts speaking. He just can’t look Chad in the eye while he tells him that his best friend has been brutally beaten and raped. “I don’t… Paul… he… God,” Jensen tears at his hair and Chad looks at him expectantly. “Paul raped him. First he beat him and then… he raped him.” Chad gasps shocked.

Jensen wipes angrily at the tears that are slowly running down his cheeks and swallows hard. “With what Chris told me, I think that Jared might have been able to get away and in his rush he fell down the stairs. I’m gonna kill Paul, Chad. I swear I’m gonna kill him.”

“I can’t believe he did that,” Chad shakes his head with tears in his eyes. “I mean… I’ve always known that he’s a bastard. But rape?”

“He’s gonna pay for that,” Jensen says calmly. “I will do anything I can to make him pay.”

“Are you Jensen Ackles?”

Jensen looks up and sees an older woman standing at the door to the waiting room. She looks like hell, with stringy dark hair and black circles beneath her eyes. Her hands are trembling and Jensen wonders for a second where he has seen her before.

“Yes,” he says hesitantly.

“Oh thank God.” The woman stumbles inside the room and Jensen takes a step towards her, grabbing her arm to steady her. Her breath smells like stale whiskey. “My name is Sherri Padalecki. Thank you for saving my son.”

Jensen yanks his hand back as if he’s been hit by lightning. He hasn’t seen this woman before but Jared looks a lot like her and that’s why she seemed familiar. Now this woman is thanking him for saving her son when that should have been her place. Sherry tumbles forward and finally falls down on one chair.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” she says quietly.

“Thank me?” Jensen says angrily. “Thank me for doing what? I didn’t do anything. I was already too late. Paul had already gotten to Jared before I found him. So don’t thank me.” Sherry opens her mouth, but Jensen cuts her off, “It was your job to protect him but you failed him. All his life you failed him. You let his father beat him. And then let Paul and your husband arrange a marriage for your son. How dare you say thank you? If you had done your damn job this wouldn’t have happened.” He’s yelling by now.

Sherry sobs, “I know.”

“You make me sick,” Jensen spits out. “How can you let your own son down like this? How can you not protect him from this life? What kinda person are you?”

“Stop yelling at my mother.” A hard voice cuts through the charged air.

Jensen spins around. “Who are you?” The guy who’s standing a few feet away is tall, with short, brown hair and piercing blue eyes.

“I’m Ryan Padalecki, Jared’s my brother. Who are you?”

“I’m Jared’s boyfriend,” Jensen explains calmly.

“Jared’s boyfriend?” Sherry asks surprised.

“Jared doesn’t have a boyfriend,” Ryan says convinced. “He’s married for God’s sake.”

“Oh yeah?” Jensen smirks humorlessly. “So tell me, did you know that your father practically sold Jared off to Paul? That he gave him to Paul just because he could?”

“What?” Ryan stutters and Jensen actually believes that Ryan didn’t know.

“God, where have you guys been all this time?” Jensen sighs angrily. “Jared’s father arranged a marriage for him and none of you noticed? I can’t believe this shit. Did you walk around blind?”

“He told me he loved Paul,” Ryan defends himself.

“And you believed him?” Jensen yells. “God, how stupid are you? When I met Jared eight weeks ago, he was so scared to talk to people that he couldn’t even say a whole sentence without blushing and stuttering. You must have seen that.”

“He’s always been like that,” Sherry says quietly. “He’s always been shy and scared.”

“Because his father hit him and told him that he’s worthless and a waste of space,” Jensen exclaims. “Damn it, open your eyes. You could have prevented this, but you chose whiskey over your son. Now he’s been raped by the person your husband gave him to because he finally decided that he wanted to leave Paul.”

Sherry gasps and Ryan rushes over to his mother, pulling her into his arms. “We didn’t know.” He looks at Jensen with pleading eyes.

Jensen chuckles humorlessly. “Y’know what? I believe you. Doesn’t make it better, though.”

“C’mon, Jen. Sit down.” Chad gestures for the chair next to him. “That’s enough.” Jensen actually complies because he feels drained.

The only thing he wants right now is to see Jared, tell him that everything is going to be okay again. He rests his head in his hands and listens to Jared’s mother cry. He probably had no right to tell the woman that she failed at being a mother, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wouldn’t be surprised if she wouldn’t let him see Jared because of that.

Another hour goes by before Kripke is back. “Mrs. Padalecki?”

Sherry looks up and nods. “That’s me.”

“I’m Dr. Kripke. I’m your son’s attending physician.”

“How is he?” she asks with a shaky voice.

Kripke looks at Jensen and Chad before looking back at Sherry. “If you want to talk in private, we can go to my office?”

She shoots Jensen an unreadable look. “No,” she says after she turns back to face Kripke, “I’d like for my son’s friends to hear this as well.”

The doctor raises an eyebrow but nods. “Well, okay. Your son just got out of surgery and we were able to repair the internal damage he suffered from the beating and the fall. We had to take out his spleen though. Three of his ribs are broken as are his right leg and arm. He has a concussion and is still in a coma.”

“What about the rape?” Ryan asks, tears audible in his voice.

Kripke sighs. “Thankfully the tearing in and around his rectum isn’t severe. We’ll treat them with ointment and he gets antibiotics to prevent infection. For the rest, we’ll have to wait until he wakes up.”

“Can we see him?” Sherry asks quietly but calmer then only minutes ago.

“Yes but only two at a time,” Kripke answers. “I’ll tell the nurse to show you the way.”

Sherry nods and after Kripke leaves she turns to Jensen. “You should go first.”

“What?” He asks confused.

“I know I made a lot of mistakes raising Jared and you’ve all the right in the world to hate me. Honestly, I hate myself for it,” she swallows hard. “But you said you were my son’s boyfriend right?”

“Yes,” Jensen answers hesitantly.

“Do you love him?” She asks.

“Yes, ma’am. I do,” he says conviction.

“Good,” Sherry nods. “Then I believe that he needs you more than me right now.”

Jensen is stunned and he doesn’t really know how to reply to that. When the nurse comes he gives Sherry a short nod and follows the nurse down the hall to Jared’s room. His heart is threatening to jump out of his chest because he doesn’t know what to expect.

Finally he pushes open the door and walks into the sterile hospital room. The heart monitor is beating, telling Jensen that Jared’s heart is beating steadily beneath his chest and it’s a relief. His boyfriend is lying in the hospital bed hooked up to machines and he looks so damn pale, but he’s alive.

Jensen walks over to the bed and sits down in one of the chairs. He lets his fingers gently stroke over the back of Jared’s uninjured hand.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he feels the tears burning behind his eyes. “I know I told you I would never let them hurt you again and I’m sorry for letting you down. But I will do everything in my power to make him pay for what he did to you.” Tears are running down his cheeks now and he wipes them away. “I need you to come back to me Jay. Please, you need to wake up.”

Jensen presses a soft kiss to the back of Jared’s hand and lays his head next to it on the bed waiting for Jared to wake up.

 

  
  


 

  


A soft knock on the door jerks Jensen awake. He doesn’t remember falling asleep. He turns around to see Sherri standing at the door.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Jensen. Someone named Chris is asking for you. He’s in the waiting room,” she explains.

Jensen shoots Jared a concerned look, but the young man is still unconscious. He sighs and gets up. He really doesn’t want to leave Jared alone.

“I’ll stay with him,” Sherri says. She seems calmer than this afternoon and she isn’t trembling so hard anymore. Jensen wonders if she had a drink. “I’m sober,” she says as if she can read his thoughts.

He nods and is almost out of the door when Sherri speaks again. “I know you hate me Jensen and you have every right to do so. I just wanted you to know that I love my son.”

“You have a shitty way of showing that,” Jensen says slowly.

Sherry nods. “You’re right and I will never forgive myself for what Jared went through because I’ve been too weak to stand up for him.”

Jensen waits for her to say something more. When she doesn’t, he shrugs and walks away. He’s not in the mood to have a heart-to-heart with his boyfriend’s mother. Chris is waiting in the waiting room with Chad and Ryan.

“How’s Jared?” Chad asks desperately.

“Still unconscious,” Jensen explains with sadness in his voice.

Suddenly Chris is there and pulls him into a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay. He’s strong. He’s gonna pull through.”

Jensen nods, pulling away from Chris. “What about Paul?”

“He’s here. On a different floor, though. Has a concussion, but nothing too serious,” Chris explains pulling Jensen out of earshot.

“What about the charges?”

“He hasn’t been charged with anything yet. Jared’s mother and his brother are talking about pressing charges for rape,” Chris tells him quietly.

“Good,” Jensen nods determined. “Tell me when we have him in custody. I wanna talk to him.”

“Jen,” Chris sighs. “You know the Sarge won’t let you talk to him. This case is too personal for you.”

“Well,” Jensen grits out. “Then, we’ll have to make sure the Sarge won’t know.”

Chris shakes his head. “Jen…”

“I’m gonna talk to him Chris, with your help or without it. You got it?” Jensen says stiffly and Chris nods. “Good. Now, I’m going to call Josh. Jared’ll need a good lawyer when he wakes up.”

 

  
  


 

  


Josh is shocked when Jensen tells him what happened to Jared and promises to take the next plane to LA. Jensen’s brother studied civil law at Berkley and then went back to open his own law firm in Dallas two years ago. He’s one of Jensen’s best friends and a damn good lawyer at that. Jensen is glad that he offered to come to LA and plead Jared’s case.

Jensen stays the night at the hospital, never leaving Jared’s side. Chris comes back in the morning to bring Jensen something to eat. Sherri and Ryan come to visit Jared but none of them ask Jensen to leave. Chad sits with them for a few hours, telling Jensen that he called Sophia and she will be here soon. Jensen is overwhelmed by the open display of friendship and care from a woman who only knew Jared for eight weeks. But then again, Jensen has only known Jared for eight weeks too. It feels longer though, a lot longer.

Josh arrives sometime in the afternoon and Jensen has a coffee with him at the hospital cafeteria. His brother promises Jensen that he will draw up a document for Jared to sign when he regains consciousness regarding the divorce and he will also contact Paul Johansson’s lawyer and demand insight in the prenup. If there is any indication of the marriage being arrange without Jared’s consent, they might be able to get it annulled.

Jensen is on his way back to Jared’s room when he hears shouting. He turns the last corner and sees Chad pushing Paul out of the room. The older man has a smug grin on his face and Jensen runs over to them.

He grabs Paul’s collar and pulls him back from Jared’s door. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jensen hisses.

The nurse comes running with hospital security and the young orderly demands, “What’s going on here?”

“I was just trying to visit my husband,” Paul explains and Jensen can hear the faked friendliness in his voice.

“You have no right to be here. You raped him,” Jensen exclaims and the orderly’s eyes widen in shock. “You beat him up and you raped him.”

Paul shakes his head slowly. “I didn’t rape him. It might have been a little rough, but I didn’t rape him. He wanted it.”

Jensen lunges forward and if Chad wouldn’t have held him back he would have punched Paul in the face right there and then. “Let me go ,Chad.”

“Calm down, Jensen,” the blond man says quietly. “You’re not helping Jared’s case here, man.”

“So you are Jensen?” Paul raises his eyebrows in disgust. “You’re the one who seduced my husband and convinced him to cheat on me. Maybe you raped him and now you’re trying to cover it up, huh?” He asks smugly.

Jensen wants to scream and hit something. He wants to tear Paul apart but he doesn’t, not when Jared is lying only a few feet away. Instead he replies calmly, “We have proof and as soon as Jared wakes up I will be very happy to show you your way to your cell personally.”

“Jen?” A soft, weak voice cuts through the charged atmosphere and Jensen spins around to see Jared looking at him with tired eyes. “What…” Jared stops when he realizes that Paul is standing in the doorway with Jensen and his eyes widen in shock. “Get him away,” he begs, breaking into tears. “Please, don’t let him hurt me.”

“But Jared, it’s me, your husband,” Paul coos, walking inside the room.

“No, no,” Jared shakes his head. “Please, please don’t hurt me.”

Jensen rushes to grab Paul’s wrist before he can walk any further into the room. “You better go now,” he whispers so that only Paul can hear him. “Or I swear I’m gonna wipe the floor with your face.”

“Sir,” the orderly addresses Paul with a stern voice. “It might be better if you go now.”

“This is not over,” the older man spits towards Jensen.

“It has just begun,” Jensen agrees grimly, watching Paul walk away. Then he turns to Jared, rushing over to his boyfriend’s bed. Jared has his eyes tightly closed and his one hand is fisted in the bedspread. “He’s gone now baby. He can’t hurt you anymore,” he pleads.

Jared opens his eyes again and tears are streaming down his face. “You’re still here, Jen.”

“Sure I am,” Jensen assures Jared. “Where else would I be?”

“He said you wouldn’t want me anymore after…” Jared’s voice breaks and Jensen leans forward to wipe away the younger man’s tears.

“I will always want you, Jay. I love you,” Jensen says slowly, pressing a gently kiss to Jared’s forehead.

“I love you too, Jen,” Jared sobs. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him.”

Jensen’s heart breaks when he hears what Jared is saying and the tears he’s barely holding back finally start running down his cheeks. “Shh,” he soothes. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s not your fault.”

Jensen holds Jared while the younger man cries and for the first time in a long time Jensen prays that God will help him fix what’s broken in Jared.

 

  
  


 

  


Jared is lying in his hospital bed. It’s been three days since… he’s still not able to even say the word. His body hurts and he feels so dirty he wants to rip off his skin. He hasn’t been able to shower or take a bath because of the injuries he obtained when he fell down the stairs. The nurses clean him with a washcloth once a day, but it’s just not enough. He can still feel Paul’s hands on his skin and… well, he can still feel him everywhere and it’s driving Jared nuts.

He told Jensen that he wants a shower and Jensen promised him he would get one as soon as Dr. Kripke releases him from the hospital. Over the last three days Jensen hardly left Jared’s room. He even slept on the uncomfortable looking chair in the corner. He has been Jared’s constant ever since he woke up in the hospital bed.

Right now though, Jensen is on his way to the police station to speak with his sergeant and give his statement. Chris practically had to carry Jensen out of the hospital room and he only went when Jared assured him that he would be okay without him for a few hours. Even though lying alone with only your thoughts to keep you company makes it really hard for Jared.

Two police officers are outside the room reminding Jared every single second of the horror he survived. Josh pressed charges against Paul the minute Jared was conscious enough to order him to. Jared likes Jensen’s brother. He’s nice and kind and funny, practically looking like an older version of Jensen and he promised Jared that he would do anything in his power to put Paul behind bars for everything he did to him.

Paul’s still at large though. Josh explained that Michael Weatherly, Paul’s lawyer, petitioned for bail and the judge granted it because there is no danger of flight. Jensen had been livid, pacing through the room with burning cheeks and a huge frown on his face. Jared wasn’t surprised. He wouldn’t have expected it otherwise. Paul knows exactly how to get what he wants. So yeah, that’s why Jensen positioned two police officers outside of Jared’s door.

It doesn’t make Jared feel safer though. What makes him feel safer is the fact that Jensen is still there. He hasn’t left Jared like Paul told him he would and that reassures Jared in a way nothing else could.

Chad’s been here too constantly mothering Jared, asking if he needs anything. He’d never thought that Chad could act like this and he loves his friend for it. What he didn’t like so much was when Chad told him that he had called Sophia and she was coming to LA. Chad’s getting her from the airport right now. Jared isn’t sure he wants her to see him like this, pale and with broken bones, because he had been too stupid to walk down the stairs properly.

James had been over twice and both times he apologized for leaving Jared alone. He also was shocked to learn that Paul’s and Jared’s marriage had been a fake and that Paul had force Jared into it. At first James acted wary after Jared introduced him to Jensen, but on his second visit he told Jared that he could see how much they both meant to each other.

Even Mike and Tom had come to visit Jared. Chad had called them of course. It had been a nice visit and Jared was glad that they came by. For a man who thinks he’s all alone in the world, except for Chad and Jensen, he has a lot of visitors who like him.

“Knock, knock,” a soft voice says from the door and Jared looks up to find his mother. She looks tired and her hands are buried in her pants pockets. Jared knows she’s doing it to hide her shaking hands. “Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?”

His mother and Ryan had visited him every day for a few hours. Ryan apologized for not realizing that Jared needed someone to talk to and offering help in any way. Sherri talked mostly about random stuff and Ryan and his new girlfriend Melissa. Jared knows Jensen is angry with her for not being the mother she should have been but he’s glad that she’s able to be here at all. She also told him that she hasn’t had a drink in since she got the call from the hospital and he really wants to believe her. For all his life he tried to get his mom to quit drinking and now it looks like all he had to do was turn up in a hospital.

His dad hasn’t been here, though, and Jared had had enough time to think about what Paul told him that day. He hasn’t had the guts to ask his mother yet.

“I’m okay, Mom,” he says quietly.

She walks over to his bed and caresses his cheek with trembling hands. “That’s good. Where is Jensen?”

Jared smiles slightly. His mom really seems to like Jensen and what’s even more important is that she likes him as Jared’s boyfriend. “He had to go down to the station to make his statement. Chris practically had to carry him outside.”

“He loves you very much,” Sherri smiles. “I’m glad you found him.”

“Me too, Mom,” Jared nods.

“Listen, honey,” Sherri says. “I talked to your lawyer and we’ve come to the decision that I’m gonna make a statement that your marriage was arranged without your consent. That your father and Paul forced you into it.”

“But,” Jared frowns, “if you say you knew about that won’t they charge you, too?”

“Not when I admit that I was an alcoholic at the time and didn’t know right from wrong. I’d have to go to rehab though, which I wanted to do anyway,” she explains. “I haven’t been a good mother to you, Jared. But let me do this. Let me help you with this. Josh will get an annulment of the marriage then.”

“Mom,” he says softly. “Thank you.”

Sherri smiles sadly. “Don’t thank me, Jared. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past. Now I can help to right some wrongs.”

Jared nods and he knows this is the perfect opportunity to ask his mother about what Paul said. “Mom?” he asks.

“Yes, sweetie.”

“Paul said something that day.”

“What did he say?” she asks curious.

“He told me… he said that Gerry is not my real dad. Is that true?” Jared’s voice is barely a whisper.

Sherri’s face falls and Jared knows it’s true. He lays his head back against the pillow and watches the ceiling. He doesn’t know if he should been relieved or not. He feels so damn confused right now.

“Yes, honey. It’s true.” Tears are audible in her voice.

“Who’s my dad? Do I know him?” Jared asks not looking at his mother.

“No, you don’t know him. Before you were born I was doing charity work for a cancer foundation. Your dad worked there and we fell in love.”

Jared turns to look at his mom and sees she’s crying. “What’s his name?” he asks, reaching out for her hand.

She squeezes his in return before replying, “Jeremy Muller.”

“Where is he now?”

Sherri shakes her head. “I don’t know. Jared, there is something you need to understand.” She holds his hand tight between hers. “I really loved Jeremy and I wanted to leave Gerry. When Gerry found out though, he threatened me telling me I would never see Ryan again. Well, I had just found out that I was pregnant with you and I told Jeremy. We were so happy.” She sighs. “Honestly, I don’t really know what happened then. Shortly after I told Gerry that I was really leaving him – I would have fought for Ryan in court – Gerry came to me and said that he went to Jeremy and offered him money to leave us alone and that he took it.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t want to believe him. I called Jeremy, he didn’t answer. I went to his apartment, it was empty. I haven’t seen him since. So, I stayed with Gerry. I didn’t have money and no resources to fight for Ryan. I’m so sorry, Jared.”

Suddenly everything makes a lot more sense to Jared. He knows why his mother looked for comfort in her bottles of whiskey and why his father, no Gerry, treated him like an intruder in his home.

“I’m sorry too, Mom,” he says softly. “Maybe we can ask Jen to find Jeremy for us, if you want that?”

Sherri wipes her eyes and smiles at Jared. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Does Ryan know?”

“No,” Sherri shakes her head. “I didn’t think I’d need to worry him.”

Jared nods. “It’s okay Mom. We’ll tell him later.” He yawns.

“You should sleep a little,” his mother says. “You need it.”

“Will you stay?”

“Sure, honey. I’ll stay. I’ll go and talk to Josh later.”

Jared nods tiredly and snuggles into the cushions insofar as his injuries allow that. He thinks about Jensen and hopes that he’ll be back soon. Jared sleeps better with Jensen in the room, it feels safer.

 

  
  
 

  
Jensen is just finishing the report and his statement, which was long overdue, when Chris walks up to him and whispers.

“Come to interview room one in five minutes.”

Jensen wants to ask Chris why he’s whispering but his friend is already gone again. He looks around but sees nothing out of the ordinary. He shrugs. Sometimes Chris acts so weird. He signs his report and his statement and walks over to Sally’s desk. She’s Whitfield’s secretary and will give them to the Sarge.

After Jared had first pressed charges, with Josh’s help, against Paul, Jensen asked Whitfield to be assigned to the case. His sergeant had shut him down just like Chris said he would. Jensen was personally involved in the case and that was a no-go.

Jensen is still pretty pissed though, even if it means he gets to spend more time with Jared. He promised Jared to put Paul behind bars and now all he can do is sit and watch. It’s driving him insane.

So, when the five minutes are over Jensen walks into interview room one and stops dead in this tracks. Chris is there, but so is James Lafferty, Paul’s nephew and in the middle of the table stands a large file box.

“Shut the door, Jen,” Chris says calmly.

Jensen does and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Take a look.” Chris gestures at the box.

Jensen walks over to the table and pulls the box towards him. It’s full of papers and files. He looks through it and there are a few names he recognizes: Paul Johansson, Roberto Coltrano, Gerry Padalecki, Jared Padalecki.

“What is this?” He asks frowning.

“This, my friend,” Chris grins, “is Paul’s head on a plate.”

“What?” Jensen replies stunned.

Chris nods towards James. “I think you should explain that.”

James gives Jensen a tight smile. “A few weeks back, when Jared was at Hide and Paul was in Europe I got an anonymous call telling me to check the books. I was very skeptical at first, but then my curiosity won out. I was convinced I wouldn’t find anything, but the thought wouldn’t leave me alone. So I checked them.”

“And you found something,” Jensen guesses.

“Yes,” James nods. “The books were all wrong. It wasn’t easy to find but I found out that the received shipments never matched the quantity that was noted in the books. At first I thought Paul was doing some business under the radar and I wanted to confront him when he got back. But then he went and… then he assaulted Jared. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing; Paul’s always been good to me, y’know.” James sighs. “Well, anyway I thought that maybe faking the books wasn’t the only thing he’s doing. So I went, paid the bail and got him out.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?” Jensen asks baffled.

“To gain his trust. He should believe that I was still on his side.” James rubs a hand over his face and chuckles humorlessly. “And it worked. He told me it was all a big mistake, that Jared had wanted it,” he says disgusted. “Then I told him that I found the mistakes in the books and offered to help him lose all the evidence that ever connected him to anything illegal. He agreed and gave me his safe combination.” James nods towards the box. “That’s what was in it.”

“He really believed you?” Jensen shakes his head in surprise. He had thought Paul would have been smarter than that.

“He had no reason not to. We’ve always been close,” James explains. “After my parents died he took care of me. He took me under his wing and showed me the ropes.”

“Then why are you doing this?” Jensen asks.

“Because he raped Jared!” James exclaims angrily. “Look,” he sighs, “until a few weeks ago I would have sworn that Paul is an honorable man. Then I found the faked books and now he rapes people I… care about. He even forced Jared into this fucking marriage and I never even had a clue!” he yells, before standing up and pulling a file out of the box in front of Jensen. “Here,” he hands it to Jensen. “He’s even involved in murder.”

Jensen’s eyes widen in shock and he opens the folder with the name ‘Jeremy Muller’. Inside he finds information about Muller, his age and occupation and where he lived. There are even black and white photos of someone lying on the floor and someone else holding a gun pointed at them.

“Who are these people?” he asks.

James shakes his head. “I don’t know who Muller is. But this,” he points at the man holding the gun, “is Gerry Padalecki.”

Jensen gasps. “Oh my God.”

“We guess that Paul kept all of this as leverage,” Chris adds. It’s the first time he’s said something since James started talking and Jensen almost forgot that he was in the room.

Jensen gets up from his seat and paces the room. “Call Tom. He would want to know about this. Let him draw up a warrant and then send a squat to pick up Paul and Gerry,” he says firmly. “I think it’s time we have a little chat with both of them,” he spits out sarcastically.

Chris nods, grabs the box full of evidence, except for the file about Gerry and leaves the room. James is leaning against the wall. “You think it’s enough?”

Jensen looks up from the files. “The rape would have been enough to put him away for a long time. This will get him a life sentence.” He looks back on the photos of Jeremy Muller’s murder. “These look old, at least eighteen to twenty years.” He rubs his temples. “I think we should ask Sherri Padalecki about Jeremy Muller.”

“Why?” James asked surprised. “She’s an alcoholic. You really think she’d remember a random name from over twenty years ago.”

“Maybe it’s not so random. Gerry must have had a reason for killing him,” Jensen muses.

“Why not wait for Gerry to get here?”

“I like to be prepared.” He grabs his cell and flips it open. He dials and listens to it ring.

“Hello?” Sherri asks quietly.

“Sherri? Is that you?” Jensen asks. She had asked him to call her by her first name and even though Jensen had thought about refusing the offer he had said ‘yes’ when Jared smiled at him hopefully.

“Yes. Jensen? Jared is sleeping.”

“Oh,” he says disappointed. “Well, let him sleep. I actually wanted to talk to you.”

“Me? What about?”

“Someone came forward and handed us some incriminating files from Paul’s safe,” Jensen explains. “Your husband was named explicitly in one of them in connection with another name. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it.”

“I don’t know if I can help you, Jensen,” she says hesitantly. “But what’s the other name?”

“The other name is Jeremy Muller. You know him?”

“Oh my God,” Sherri whispers.

“Sherri? Do you know him?” Jensen asks again.

“Yes, yes I know him. He’s Jared’s real dad,” she replies slowly.

“What?” Jensen shouts surprised. “But I thought…”

“It’s a long story and I only just told Jared about it,” Sherri sighs. “What does it say about Jeremy? Does it say where to find him?”

Jensen bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from telling Sherri that Jeremy is dead, that her husband killed him. “No,” he grits out. “No, it doesn’t. But I’ll tell you everything once I get back to the hospital. It’ll take some more time though. Can you tell Jared that and that I love him?”

“Yeah sure. I’ll stay with him ‘til you get here.” Sherri takes a deep breath. “Jensen, these files will they put Paul and Gerry in prison?”

He considers lying to her, but then decides against it. “Yes and for a very long time at that.”

“Good,” she sounds relieved. “I’ll see you later.”

They say ‘goodbye’ and Jensen disconnects the call. James is watching him intently.

“What did she say? Did she know who Jeremy Muller is?”

Jensen nods. “Yeah. She says he’s Jared’s real dad.”

“What?” James mirrors Jensen’s initial reaction.

Jensen chuckles humorlessly. “I can’t believe that Gerry killed Jared’s dad. But it is a strong motive. Can’t wait to talk to him.”

 

  
  
 

  
When Jared wakes up, his mom is looking through a fashion magazine. It takes her a second to notice that Jared’s awake, but when she does, she smiles.

“Hey, you sleep well?”

Jared nods. His ribs are hurting and he’s hungry. “Where’s Jensen? Isn’t he back yet?”

“No,” Sherri shakes her head. “But he called and told me to tell you he loves you. It’ll be late ‘til he gets back, though. Something came up at the station,” she explains.

Jared hears the distress in her voice. “What? Is everything okay?”

His mom shrugs. “I don’t know. Jensen said something about files incriminating Paul and Gerry. And that one of those files also mentioned your father.”

“What do they say?” Jared asks curiously.

“Jensen didn’t say. He said we’ll talk about it when he gets back.” Sherri leans over to kiss Jared’s forehead. “I have another surprise for you though, honey. Chad got back and he brought visitors. They’re in the cafeteria. I’ll go and get them.”

Sherri leaves and Jared’s heart starts pounding in his chest. He doesn’t know if he really wants to see Sophia and his mother said that Chad brought visitors. Who else might he have brought here? And do they know what happened? Do they know what Paul did? He can’t imagine how they will look at him. He wishes Jensen would be here. He needs his boyfriend.

A short time later, Sophia rushes into the room. She has a relieved smile on her face and kisses his cheek. It’s good to see her and Jared revokes his initial reaction that he didn’t want to see her.

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” she whispers in his ear. “I brought some other visitors with me. Can I tell them to come in?”

Jared shrugs. “If you want.”

“Come in, guys,” Sophia calls and Jeff, Sam, Misha, Milo and Alona enter the room, followed by Chad and Sherri. They have all big smiles on their faces.

“You should’ve just called instead of falling down the stairs to get us to LA and visit your ass,” Milo jokes and drops into one of the chairs.

Jared smiles. “I’ll try to remember that.” The others laugh and Jared asks, “What are you doing here, guys?”

“Just checking that you’re okay, son,” Jeff says.

Sam walks over to Jared’s bed, kisses his cheek and puts a small basket on his nightstand. “I made you some of the chocolate brownies you like so much.”

Alona comes over and kisses him hello, before moving away so that Misha can shake his uninjured hand.

“Sophia called, told us that you had an accident and we immediately made plans to visit your sorry ass,” Misha explains, snagging a brownie out of Sam’s basket and Sam slaps his hand. “Ow, damn woman.” He rubs over the sore spot. “Maybe I should have come alone to get away from all these crazy people.”

Jared chuckles and groans a second later.

“What is it? You okay?” Alona asks concerned.

“Yeah, just don’t make me laugh. My ribs don’t like that,” Jared says, taking the brownie Sam’s holding out for him. He takes a bite and the rich taste of chocolate and mocha hits him. He sighs contently. They taste just they did at the ranch. “These are awesome. Thank you, Sam.”

“You’re welcome, honey. Now tell us what we can do to help you,” she says seriously.

“What do you mean?” Jared asks.

“She means what can we do to get this asshole behind bars?” Jeff clarifies.

They know and Jared wishes a hole up would open and swallow him. This is so embarrassing. “I…” he starts, “I don’t know. Jensen, he might…” his voice breaks and he fights back tears, closing his eyes. Damn, this was going so good and now he can’t even form a whole sentence.

“Take a deep breath, Jared,” Misha’s soft voice is right in his ear. “Just like we practiced at the ranch, in and out, in and out. Slowly.” Jared does what Misha says and feels himself relax. “That’s it, buddy. You’re fine.”

Jared opens his eyes again and Misha is smiling at him. “Thanks,” he croaks.

“You’re welcome,” Misha says. “We just wanna help, Jared. But if you don’t want that or if it makes you uncomfortable, just say a word and we’ll back off, promise.”

Jared chews on his bottom lip nervously before answering, “No, I want you to stay. It’s good to see y’all again. I just don’t know how you could help, y’know. But Josh might know. He’s my lawyer and Jensen’s brother.”

“Then let’s call Josh,” Sherri says.

 

  
  
 

  
“Thank you, Sir.”

Jensen walks out of Whitfield’s office and lets out a relieved breath. Finally the Sarge is realizing he needs his best men on this and he allowed Jensen to lead the questioning. He walks over to his desk to go over some things before Paul and Gerry will get here.

His phone rings after he sits down and he grabs the receiver. “Yeah?”

“Sir, this is Angela from the front desk. A Mr. Boreanaz is here and asking to see you.”

At first the name doesn’t tell Jensen anything, but then he remembers David’s last name and groans. This guy is the last thing he needs right now. “What does he want?”

“He says he has vital information regarding Paul Johansson,” Angela says.

Jensen pauses and then sighs. “Yeah, okay. Send him up.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jensen walks over to the elevator and waits for David to arrive. When the other man steps out of the elevator he gives Jensen a tight smile. Jensen gives him a curt nod and leads him into interview room two.

“Speak,” Jensen demands.

“I… I know screwed up okay?” David says defensively. “And I’m sorry.”

“Did you come here to waste my time or do you actually have something to say?” Jensen asks annoyed.

David sighs. “Fine. I wanna help put Paul in prison. I know things he did in the past, illegal things. And I know how he talked about Jared and his marriage.”

“Okay,” Jensen says. “What do you know?”

David rubs a hand over his face. “Paul saved my life once.” Jensen raises his eyebrows surprised. “I got into a fight when I was still in college and Paul found me afterwards. I had a pretty deep knife wound in my thigh and probably would have died if Paul wouldn’t have found me. I had nobody at the time and Paul kept visiting me at the hospital. Later he even paid my bills. I never asked for it, but I felt like I owed him. That’s why I just accepted everything he said.” David swallows hard. “Later, Paul helped me fake my graduation diploma. After my time in the hospital I was failing, completely and I hadn’t much money left. So Paul offered to help me if I delivered a pack. I did and he faked my diploma,” David explains.

Jensen nods. “Continue.”

“I’ve been delivering packs ever since once or twice a year when I’m in LA,” David adds.

“And you don’t know what’s in them, I guess,” Jensen says sarcastically.

“I can only guess.” David nods.

“Great,” Jensen groans and stands up. “Wait here. I’ll have someone come in and take your statement.”

“Do you think it’ll help put him away?” David asks curiously.

“I don’t know. We’ll see.” Jensen walks out and almost collides with Chris.

“I was looking for you,” his friend says. “Paul’s in interview one and I’m going to take a long piss now. So if you want your chance? Take it now. Weatherly won’t need long to get here.”

Jensen nods. “Okay and thank you, Chris.”

His friend sighs. “Just get it done, Jen.”

Jensen walks to interview one, takes a deep breath and walks inside. “Look who we got here.”

Paul looks up and smirks. “Jensen, it’s good to see you again,” he says with faked friendliness.

“Y’know, I’m not in the mood to play games with you, Paul. I’m here to tell you what I think of scumbags like you.” Jensen takes two quick steps, curls his hand around Paul’s throat yanking him out of his chair and throwing him against the wall.

“You little shit,” Paul hisses. “You don’t know anything.”

Jensen chuckles. “Well, I think I know enough. See, for example I know that Gerry killed Jared’s real dad and that you have photos of it.” Something flickers through Paul’s eyes and Jensen smirks. “I also know that you helped fake David Boreanaz’s graduation diploma. And most important, I know that your marriage with Jared is going to be annulled just like it never happened.”

Paul’s face distorts in anger. “Jared’s mine and he always will be. You wanna know what I do to people who think they could take something that’s mine? I put a bullet through their head.”

Jensen curses inwardly that they didn’t record this conversation. But thankfully they have enough evidence to put him away for life without it.

“Are you threatening me, Paul?” Jensen spits out.

“I’m just informing you,” Paul says calmly.

“Well then I’m informing you that you will spend the rest of your life behind bars and I can tell you those guys are just waiting to fuck your tight little ass,” Jensen hisses.

A knock on the door effectively ends their conversation and Jensen releases Paul. He really would have liked to punch him in the face. He pushes Paul over to his chair just before Chris opens the door and walks in with Michael Weatherly and Tom at his heels.

The questioning takes two hours and in the end is clear that Paul’s being arrested right away with charges of dealing and smuggling arms and drugs and aiding and abetting. Paul’s face gets paler with every evidence Tom pulls out and Weatherly seems at a loss of what to do to help his client. Jensen stands in the corner and grins.

When the questioning is over Jensen and Chris take Paul down to the cells so that he can be transferred to prison tomorrow morning where he waits for the trial.

“Y’know,” Paul says smugly when they’re half way down the stairs, “you can lock me away for as long as you want to but I’ll always be with Jared. He’ll always be mine.” Paul chuckles and Jensen snaps.

He punches Paul’s eye with his fist and pushes him back against the nearest wall, putting his hand around Paul’s throat again. This time though, he grabs tighter and closes off Paul’s air effectively.

“Listen to me you son of a bitch, if I didn’t know that Jared wouldn’t want me to, I’d kill you right now. And believe me Jared will never be yours again. I’ll make sure of that,” Jensen growls.

“That’s enough, Jen,” Chris interrupts. “Let him go. He’ll get what he deserves in prison.”

Reluctantly Jensen releases Paul and the older man pants for air. The rest of the way is spent in silence and Jensen is glad when Paul is finally securely held in one of the cells.

“I think he killed Coltrano,” Jensen says quietly, when he and Chris make their way back upstairs.

“What?” Chris asks confused.

“Paul. I think he killed Coltrano. When I was alone with him he told me would put a bullet in the head of everyone who tried to take what’s his. At first I thought he wanted to threaten me, but I don’t think that’s all. I know Coltrano offered Paul money to sleep with Jared. Maybe he snapped and killed him,” Jensen muses.

“According to his records he wasn’t in the country,” Chris says slowly. “Besides Coltrano supposedly had a stroke.”

“First, Paul could’ve easily faked the records,” Jensen replies. “And second, we both don’t believe that.”

“We don’t have proof.”

“Yeah well it doesn’t matter. Paul’s going away for a long, long time,” Jensen says relieved. “And now let’s make sure Gerry goes away for just as long.”

They walk into interview room three and find Gerry pacing the room with his eyes glued to the floor. When he hears Jensen and Chris he looks up and scowls.

“What the fuck is going on here?” He asks demanding an answer.

“Besides you arranging a marriage for your son without his consent, you mean?” Jensen asks sickly sweet. “Sit down,” he adds with a growly voice.

Gerry’s face pales visible and he drops on one of the chairs. “I…”

“Shut up!” Jensen barks. “That’s not why you’re here.”

“And why am I here?” Gerry asks, slowly getting his color back.

Jensen throws the photos on the table that show Gerry shooting Jeremy Muller. “Maybe you wanna tell us something about Jeremy Muller?”

Gerry’s face turns grey as soon as he realizes what he’s looking at and he starts sweating. “I… I want my lawyer.”

Jensen ignores the demand. “You wanna tell me why you shot him or you want me to guess?” Jensen continues without waiting for Gerry’s answer. “I think you shot him because he got your wife pregnant with Jared.”

Gerry pulls at his collar, sweat running down his face. “I’m not gonna say anything ‘til my lawyer gets here.”

Jensen shakes his head. “You’re lawyer can’t help you. This is proof.”

Gerry doesn’t answer. He sits across from Jensen with his lips tight presses together and his eyes fixed on the photos.

“What kinda man are you?” Jensen asks disgusted before looking at Chris. “Get him his lawyer. I’m gonna visit Jared.” He turns back to Gerry. “You remember Jared? He’s the man who thinks you’re his dad.”

“He’s not my son,” Gerry shoots back.

Jensen nods. “No, he’s not and y’know what? He should be grateful for that every single day of his life.” Then he walks out and leaves Gerry to his fate.

 

  
  
 

  
It’s almost 10:00 pm when Kelly, Jared’s favorite nurse, comes in and shoos his friends and mother outside for his nightly examination. His friends had said ‘goodbye’ for today but promise to come back tomorrow. His mother had promised to wait until Jensen would get there though.

Kelly is nice and friendly and she isn’t as rough as some of the other nurses. She smiles. “Hey, Jared. How are you feeling today? I wanted to come earlier, but we had an emergency.”

Jared smiles back. “I’m okay. My ribs hurt a little and my leg itches, but otherwise I’m fine.”

Kelly laughs. “That’s good. So where’s Jensen? I haven’t seen him leave your side in the last three days.”

Jared sighs. Jensen should be here by now. “He’s down at the station, something came up.”

Kelly nods. “Okay. So, it’s just us tonight, huh?”

Jared nods hesitantly. “Yeah.”

Kelly goes to work, checks his casts and the bandages around his ribs, and covers his bruises with ointment. When she’s finished she looks at him with sympathetic eyes and Jared’s heart speeds up. He hates this part and even more now that Jensen isn’t here to do it. Kelly had let him do it the last days because Jared almost had a panic attack when she first tried it.

“You ready to turn?” she asks softly.

“Not really. Can’t we just leave it for today?” Jared asks desperately.

“No,” Kelly shakes her head. “We don’t wanna risk infection do we?”

Jared shrugs. “No, I guess not.”

He grabs the handle above his bed and uses his good arm to turn his body sideways. He feels the tears roll slowly down his cheeks, waiting for Kelly to rub the cold ointment around his anus.

“No, let me,” Jensen’s voice is close and Jared sobs in relief. “Hey, baby,” Jensen leans over to press a kiss to Jared’s cheek. “I’m sorry I’m so late. I’ll tell you everything once we’re finished here, okay?” Jared nods and bites his lip.

Gently Jensen runs one of his hands down Jared’s back to sooth him while the other wanders between his cheeks. Jared tenses and closes his eyes. Paul’s face is right there with a smug grin on his face taunting Jared, telling him that no one will ever want him again.

“Shh, baby. It’s okay. Just relax.” Jensen’s voice sounds through the blur of memories, soft and soothing. His finger trails to Jared’s hole and rubs the ointment into the torn skin. It burns, just like the last three days. Then Jensen withdraws his finger and Jared lets out the breath he’s been holding. “It’s okay, Jay. You’re okay. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Jared lies back and groans at the way his ribs protest. When he looks at Jensen, he’s just cleaning his hand of the ointment. He looks tired, but there is also something in his eyes Jared’s not sure how to interpret. Jensen leans down and brushes his lips gently against Jared’s.

“Love you, baby,” he whispers against Jared’s lips.

“Love you too.” When they pull apart Jensen drops into one of the chairs and rubs a hand over his face. “Tell me what’s going on, Jen,” Jared pleads. “Why did you stay at the station so long?”

“I think we should ask your mother to join us.”

Jared is surprised, because he knows that Jensen doesn’t exactly like Sherri. He resents her for not protecting Jared from Gerry and choosing to bury herself in whiskey.

“Okay.” Jared nods. “Can you get her please?”

Jensen nods and a few minutes later Sherri and Jensen are both sitting at Jared’s bed. Jensen tells them that James brought them the evidence needed to arrest Paul for smuggling and dealing with arms and drugs, as well as the rape and the beating. He adds that David also came forward with information regarding Paul, and that Tom and Chris are currently checking how much that will add to Paul’s charges.

When Jensen says that Paul will probably get a life sentence, Jared almost bursts out crying because he’s so damn relieved. He knows he still needs to testify against Paul, but if the outcome is that Paul’s going to be put away for life Jared can do it.

“You said something about Gerry’s name being mentioned in those files,” Sherri says when Jensen finishes.

Jensen nods. “Yes.” Jared can see him hesitating and he wonders what might be holding Jensen back. “I… this is hard…,” Jensen looks at Jared and Sherri with sad eyes. “I don’t even know how to say it.”

“Just tell us, Jensen,” Sherri says determined.

“Okay. So, I already told you that Gerry was connected to Jeremy Muller in those files right?” Sherri nods. “Well, we found photos that show Gerry killing Jeremy Muller.”

Sherri gasps and slaps her hand across her mouth and Jared’s eyes widen in shock. He can’t believe that this is happening. Gerry, who he thought was his dad for all his life, killed the man who was his real dad. He reaches for his mother’s hand and when she grabs his he squeezes it. It must be so hard for her to hear that her husband killed the man she loved.

“Mom, I’m so sorry,” Jared says softly

Sherri shakes her head. “It’s okay. It’s just all these years I thought he took Gerry’s money and left and now I learn that Gerry killed him. It’s just hard to get used to.”

Jensen nods. “I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you something else. What I can tell you though, is that we arrested Gerry for murder. He’s going to prison.”

“Good.” Sherri says coldly before getting up. “I’m gonna leave you boys alone now. Have a good night.” She turns to Jensen before she walks out the door. “Thank you, Jensen.”

Jensen nods shortly and then Sherri is gone and Jensen drags his chair closer to Jared’s bed, grabbing his uninjured hand.

“You okay, baby?”

Jared shrugs. “I really don’t know. All my life I thought Gerry was my dad and now that I find out he’s not and think that maybe I have a dad who could love me, I learn that Gerry killed that man.”

A single tear rolls down his cheek and Jensen reaches over to wipe it away gently. “I’m sorry. I’d rather have told you something different.”

“It’s not your fault, Jen,” Jared squeezes Jensen’s hand. “I’m just glad that Paul and Gerry will go to prison.”

“It’s over Jay.” Jensen presses a kiss to the back of Jared’s hand. “They can’t hurt you anymore. I’m not gonna let them.”

Jared relaxes into his cushions and nods. He knows that this is just the beginning and nothing’s really over yet. But he also has Jensen with him and he couldn’t be more grateful for that.


	10. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, 9/9+Epilogue

  
  
 

  


Jensen is leaning against the doorframe watching James rummage through the closet in the corner.

  


It’s been four weeks since he found Jared at the bottom of the large Victorian stairs, only a few feet away from where he’s standing now, and Jared is finally coming home tomorrow. That’s why he and James went to Paul’s house to get all of Jared’s things. James has been a real asset in the case against Paul and has been working with Tom for the last weeks.

  


Jensen likes James. He’s a nice guy with a sense of humor and he really wants to see Paul behind bars. That’s about all Jensen needs to know to like him. There is just one thing that bugs Jensen, and until today, he wasn’t able to put his finger on it. Watching the way James put Jared’s things in the bags he knows exactly what it is that he picked up on.

  


“So,” Jensen clears his throat watching James spin around. “How long have you been in love with Jared?”

  


James blushes and shakes his head. “I’m not…”

  


“Don’t deny it, James,” Jensen sighs. “I’m trained to pick up on these things. It just took me a while with you.” He raises his eyebrows. “So?”

  


Uncomfortable, James rubs his hand over his neck and shrugs. “I don’t know, it just happened. One day I wasn’t and then I just… was.” James sighs. “But you don’t need to worry, Jensen. I know that Jared loves you. I’m not gonna try and get between you.”

  


“Good.” Jensen nods and smiles.

  


“Good.” James smiles back and points to Jared’s sketchbooks that are lying on the bed. “You wanna help me then?”

  


Jensen chuckles and grabs one of the sketchbooks, opening it. It’s showing two people sitting at a lake and his heart almost stops beating. It’s a picture of him and Jared, and from the way Jared is hunching his shoulders, it’s from their first meeting. Jensen trails his fingers over the outlines of the figures. His figure is smiling brightly at Jared, while he is hiding shyly behind his bangs. Jared has come so far since that night. Jensen smiles. It fills his heart with so much love that Jared chose their first night together as a motive. It shows him that even back then it was important for Jared, he was important for Jared.

  


“Jensen, hey!” Fingers snap in front of his face and Jensen looks up into James’ amused face. “We might wanna hurry if we want to go to the hospital later.”

  


Jensen nods. “Yeah sure.”

  


He puts the sketchbook in one of the bags and grabs another one. No matter how tempting it is to look at the drawings, Jensen puts it in the bag without looking. He has time to look later. Right now he wants to finish here and just leave this house that holds so many bad memories for him.

  


Jared doesn’t own much besides his sketchbook and clothes. There are a few books but that’s it. It doesn’t take Jensen and James long to put everything away and drive back to Jensen’s apartment.

  


Alona and Sophia are decorating his apartment for Jared’s move. The only room that was off-limits for the girls was the bedroom. There is a huge ‘Welcome Home’-banner stretching from one wall to the other in the living room, streamers are hanging over furniture and balloons are attached to the walls and sideboards. It looks like someone is planning a huge party.

  


Jensen likes it and hopes that Jared will like it, too. It’s Jared’s new home after all. He carries the bags into the bedroom and starts putting Jared’s clothes next to his in the closet. He can hear James laughing with the girls in the other room. Running his fingertips over Jared’s t-shirts he asks himself if this is the right choice, if this is what Jared wants so shortly after being… assaulted.

  


He rubs a hand over his face and falls back onto the bed. When he closes his eyes he can still see Jared’s broken body lying at the cold marble floor. Tears are burning behind his eyes. He hasn’t let himself cry for weeks. Now, though, one day before Jared is about to move into Jensen’s apartment his nerves get the better of him.

  


When he asked Jared to move in everything had been so easy, everything had been okay. They had planned their happily-ever-after, but now everything seems so out of place, so uncertain. The only thing Jensen knows is that he loves Jared. But their future is written on a different page. He isn’t even sure if Jared still wants this, if Jared still wants a relationship with him.

  


Back at the ranch, Jensen promised Jared that he wouldn’t let Gerry and Paul hurt him anymore. The promise hadn’t even lasted for one month. He had let Jared down. If he had been more careful, if he had not let Jared go back to the house alone none of this would have happened. How can Jared still love him, when it is his fault that Paul… raped Jared?

  


Jensen presses the heels of his hands against his eyes to keep the tears from streaming down his face. The laughing in the living room stopped and a soft knock on the bedroom door jerks him out of his thoughts. He wipes his eyes.

  


“Come in.” His voice is rough and throaty.

  


Sophia puts her head into the barely lit room. “We’re finished and wanted to ask your opinion.”

  


Jensen nods. “I’ll be there soon.”

  


Sophia frowns and walks into the room closing the door behind her. “Jensen, are you alright?”

  


“Yeah,” Jensen clears his throat. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  


Sophia nods but doesn’t look convinced. She sits down on the bed resting her elbows on her knees. Jensen watches her waiting for her to say something. When she does it’s not what he expected.

  


“Sometimes I ask myself if I could have done something to protect Jared, to prevent what happened.” She sighs. “Sometimes I think it’s my fault.”

  


Jensen shakes his head. “It’s not, Sophia. You couldn’t have known.”

  


“Neither could you but you still blame yourself,” Sophia states. “Why?”

  


“I promised him I would never let them hurt him again,” Jensen says with tears in his voice. “I let him down.”

  


“You couldn’t have known, Jensen,” Sophia insists.

  


“I should have,” Jensen says forcefully. “I’m a cop, Sophia. I should know these things. I knew what they assumed Paul did. I should have been able to keep Jared away from him. If I had forbidden him to go he’d still be in one piece.”

  


Sophia shakes her head sadly. “And you would have been one of the assholes that tried to control him. He asked you to let him do this and you let him because you love him. He needed to do this and you let him because that’s what you do when you love someone.”

  


Jensen shakes his head frantically. “He got hurt in the process. If I…”

  


“No, Jensen.” Sophia cups his face between her hands. “Don’t. You gotta stop blaming yourself. Jared loves you and he doesn’t blame you. Why should you?”

  


“Jared would never blame anyone else except for himself. That’s just the way he was raised,” Jensen insists.

  


“So you do it for him?” Sophia asks.

  


“Are you saying it’s his fault?” Jensen hisses.

  


Sophia rolls her eyes. “No,” she insists. “I’m saying its Paul’s fault. You should blame him for everything he did to Jared. He’s the monster. He’s the one who raped Jared. Not you, Jensen.”

  


Tears are flowing freely down his cheeks now. “I should have protected him,” he sobs. “Why would he want me after that? I couldn’t protect him.”

  


Sophia pulls him into her arms and rocks him like a baby. “Shh, Jensen. It’s okay. Jared loves you. He wants to be with you. But you gotta forgive yourself, Jen. You gotta forgive yourself.”

  


Jensen clings to her and lets her soothe him. He doesn’t remember crying like this since his dog died when he was seven. They sit like this for a long time and when the tears finally subside, Jensen feels better.

  


“You feel better now?” Sophia asks.

  


He gives her a sheepish smile and nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Sophia.” He kisses her cheek and disappears into the bathroom. He hopes Sophia is right and Jared really does want him.

  
  
 

  


Jared leans on his crutches waiting for the elevator to take him and Jensen up to Jensen’s floor. He’s glad he could finally leave the hospital. He was slowly going insane, even though all his friends kept him company. Now his arm and ribs are completely healed and the doctors didn’t think it would be necessary to keep him any longer. Next week the cast on his leg would be taken off and he’d be free again.

  


After Kelly had taken off the cast on his arm, Jared couldn’t get into a proper bath fast enough. He’d bribed Kelly with candy and brownies Sam had made him and she helped him. They put his leg into a garbage bag to keep it clean and dry. It had been hard work to get into the tub and even harder work to get out of it but it was totally worth it. For the first time in weeks Jared felt like a human being again. Finally he had been able to scrub away Paul’s fingerprints on his skin. Kelly might have scolded him later when she saw his raw skin, but for Jared it was liberating.

  


Jensen rocks back and forth on his heels next to him. He seems tense and nervous and Jared wonders if maybe he doesn’t want him here anymore. He wouldn’t hold it against Jensen. Jared’s been tainted and Jensen is this perfect man who deserves someone so much better than Jared. He’s just not ready to let Jensen go. Over the last weeks Jensen has been his anchor and Jared knows he’s being selfish in keeping Jensen from living his life. But maybe he can be selfish a little while longer, at least until he’s able to walk without his crutches.

  


The elevator stops and Jared follows Jensen down the hall towards a door decorated with pink balloons.

  


“Welcome home,” Jensen says softly and gives Jared a short smile.

  


He opens the door and Jared hobbles inside to find the corridor decorated with streamers and more balloons. He has barely entered the living room when Alona and Sophia are already by his side pulling him into tight hugs and welcoming him to his new home. All his friends are here: Chad, Jeff and Sam, Milo, Misha, Chris and Steve, Mike and Tom, James and finally Josh. Jensen’s apartment is not big but they all seem to have found a place to sit.

  


They all welcome him home and Jared feels a little overwhelmed by his emotions. Over the last weeks he has wondered more than once what he did to deserve such caring friends. He’s still not sure but he’s grateful for it nonetheless. Jensen is watching him with a small smile on his face but there is also something else in his gaze. It feels a lot like sadness and hurt and Jared swallows hard not to break into tears right in front of his friends.

  


Sam cooked Jared’s favorite food, roasted chicken with potatoes and vegetables and mousse au chocolate for dessert. They eat with their plates on their knees because there is not enough space for a huge dinner table in Jensen’s apartment, but it’s comfortable. Jared enjoys sitting next to his friends talking about everyday life. No one talks about the trial Paul and Gerry are facing and Jared is happy to forget about it for some time.

  


He wants to call his mother and ask if everything is okay but she’s in rehab and not allowed to take calls for another two weeks. Jared misses her. He’s not used to the feeling, but during his first week at the hospital they got to know each other again. She told him a lot about his real dad. What he did and how they fell in love and how she still loves him. It breaks his heart that she had to learn that Gerry of all people killed the man she loved because she wanted to leave Gerry for him. She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves to get her happily-ever-after.

  


Sometimes Jared wonders how different his life would have been if his mom would have gotten away from Gerry and she and Jeremy had had a chance to live their life together. But in the end it doesn’t matter, he never had the chance to meet his real dad because the man he called father for all his life took that away from him. Gerry will be charged with murder but that won’t make the hollow ache Jared feels for his father stop.

  


When Jared starts yawning around 9:00 p.m. Jensen ushers his friends out of the apartment and Josh takes Jared aside. He pulls him into the kitchen and hands him a manila envelope.

  


“Here.”

  


Jared looks confused, first at the envelope and then at Josh. “What’s this?”

  


The older man grins. “That’s your annulment. I just got it today.”

  


Jared’s eyes widen in surprise and happiness. “Oh my God,” he breathes. “Thank you, Josh. That’s… wow.”

  


Josh slaps his shoulder softly. “You’re free, Jared. That’s it. As of today your last name is Padalecki again.”

  


Jared lets out a relieved breath. “Does Paul know?”

  


Josh sighs. “I think so. When I got the papers I’m sure Weatherly got Paul’s too.”

  


“And there is nothing he can do?” Jared asks afraid that this might be a dream.

  


“No.” Josh shakes his head. “Nothing. If you’d feel safer we can file for a restraining order.”

  


Jared shakes his head. “No. I’m okay. But, really Josh, thank you.”

  


Josh pulls him into a short hug. “It was my pleasure, Jared. Have a nice night. I’ll call you as soon as the court announces the date for the trial.”

  


Jared nods. The trial. He hasn’t thought about it since he got to Jensen’s apartment. It scares him that he needs to go and talk about what happened. But at the same time, he’s determined to get through it and make sure that Paul gets what he deserves.

  


“Everything will be fine, Jared. I’ll be there and Tom will be there,” Josh says reassuringly. “Jensen will have your back, too. You testify and you won’t have to see Paul ever again.”

  


Jared nods again, more determined this time. “I know. Just call me when you know the date.”

  


“I will. Now have a nice night.” Josh squeezes Jared’s shoulder before he leaves.

  


Jared hears him say ‘goodbye’ to Jensen and then the front door closes. He leans heavily on his crutches, the manila envelope lying on the kitchen counter. This is it. Paul has no rights anymore. Jared is free. Free to do whatever he wants.

  


“Hey.” Jared looks up when Jensen walks into the kitchen. The other man looks tired.

  


“Hey,” he replies carefully.

  


They haven’t touched all night and Jared craves Jensen’s touch but he seems to keep his distance. Why did he offer Jared to move in when he doesn’t want him here? Jared sucks his bottom lip in his mouth nervously.

  


“You wanna go to bed?” Jensen asks quietly and suddenly Jared realizes how tired he really is and nods.

  


“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

  


Jensen leads him to the bedroom and shows him where he put Jared’s clothes. “You can have the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

  


Jared’s heart clenches with hurt. He wants to say something but he doesn’t know what might be the right answer and just nods.

  


“You need any help?”

  


Jared shakes his head with tears in his eyes and Jensen disappears in the bathroom. He listens to him brush his teeth while he changes into his sleep pants and a t-shirt. When Jensen emerges again he has changed into sleep pants and a t-shirt as well. He kisses Jared’s cheek hesitantly before saying ‘good night’ and leaving.

  


As soon as the door closes tears start running down Jared’s cheeks. It makes him angry that he’s crying because he should have known that it would end exactly like that. Paul had been right; Jensen doesn’t want him anymore. Jared bites his bottom lip hard to keep from sobbing. He doesn’t want Jensen to know that he’s crying, doesn’t want him to know that he hurt Jared so much.

  
  
 

  


Jensen closes the bedroom door and puts his fist in his mouth to keep from sobbing. He won’t let Jared know how much it hurts to be away from him. All day he kept his distance because it’s better for Jared. Jensen won’t be the guy to force Jared into anything when he’s recovering from a trauma like this. But he wanted to touch Jared, hug him, and tell him that everything is going to be okay. He just doesn’t want Jared to think that he’s expecting anything from him.

  


He lies down on the couch and pulls the blanket over his body snuggling into the soft cushions. It doesn’t help to calm him. He tosses and turns until he’s sure he won’t find any sleep tonight. He flips on the TV and zaps through the channels. Nothing catches his eye. He sticks with a documentary about lions on Animal Planet.

  


He closes his eyes and when he opens them again, Animal Planet is showing something about baboons having sex. Jensen shoots a look at his watch and sees that it’s after midnight. He sighs, turns off the TV, and gets up to get himself a glass of water.

  


When he walks past the bedroom door he hears a faint sound that sounds a lot like sobbing. He curses under his breath and opens the door carefully. Jared is buried under the covers but Jensen can see his shoulders shaking.

  


“Jay?” He asks softly. When he gets no answer, he walks over to the bed and shakes Jared’s shoulder gently. “Jared, wake up.” Nothing happens. He shakes Jared’s shoulder with a little more force and finally Jared’s eyes snap open. He looks haunted until his eyes focus on Jensen and his gaze gets more relaxed. “It was just a dream, Jay. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

  


Jared rubs his eyes and nods. Jensen wants to get up again but Jared grabs his wrist and tugs. “Can you stay, Jen?” He asks uncertain. “I know… you don’t want me anymore and… I don’t blame you… but could you stay… just tonight?”

  


Jensen wants to scream. How could he have been such an idiot and make Jared believe that he doesn’t want him anymore? He leans forward pressing his lips gently against Jared’s and hopes that it will show Jared that he still wants him. Jared’s fingers cling to his t-shirt and he opens his lips under Jensen’s soft pressure. Jensen pushes his tongue inside. Jared tastes of toothpaste and something that’s just Jared. His hands entangle in Jared’s hair and he holds him close.

  


After a little while of claiming Jared’s mouth as his again, Jensen pulls back and rests his forehead against Jared’s. “I’m sorry I’m such a jerk.”

  


“Huh?” Jared asks and Jensen chuckles.

  


“I didn’t think that I was hurting you with my actions. I’m sorry, Jay. I love you and I’ll always want you,” he explains softly. “I thought you might not want me anymore.”

  


Jared’s eyes widen in shock. “What? Why?”

  


Jensen sucks his bottom lip between his teeth before answering. “Because I promised you I wouldn’t let them hurt you anymore and I failed.” Jensen takes a deep breath. “I should have protected you. I should have known how to keep you safe.”

  


“It’s not your fault,” Jared says forcefully shaking his head. “You didn’t know.” Jared takes Jensen’s head between his hands. “You’re the reason I’m still alive. I thought about giving up. I thought about just taking it. But then I thought about you and I fought back because I wanted to be with you. I love you, Jen.”

  


“I’m so sorry Jay,” Jensen replies with tears in his eyes.

  


“Just don’t leave me, Jen,” Jared pleads. “I need you to get through this.”

  


“Not gonna leave you,” Jensen assures him. “Never. You’ll have me for as long as you want me.”

  


Jared smiles shyly. “Forever, then?”

  


Jensen grins relieved. “Forever, baby.”

  


After this talk Jensen feels as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders and for the first time he thinks that they might really be okay again. He pulls Jared into his arms and they settle under the covers. It feels good to have Jared here with him again. Soon Jared’s breath is deep and steady and Jensen listens to it while he drifts off to sleep.

  
  
 

  


Two days later Jared paces around the apartment on his crutches waiting for Misha to get here. Jensen’s at the station today still sorting through the evidence against Paul and Gerry and Jared called Misha ten minutes ago.

  


The idea formed in his head when Josh had handed him the annulment papers and today would be the day he would put this plan into action. A knock on the door announces Misha’s arrival and Jared hobbles to open the door.

  


“Jared, hey.”

  


Jared smiles. “Hi. Thanks for coming so fast.”

  


Misha shrugs. “It sounded like an emergency.”

  


Jared nods. “It kinda is.”

  


“What is it, Jared?” Misha asks concerned.

  


“You might want to sit down,” Jared points at the couch. Misha frowns but sits down. “I need your help,” Jared starts. Misha raises his eyebrows and Jared continues, “I wanna go and visit Paul.”

  


Misha’s eyes widen in surprise. “You what? Why would you want that?”

  


“Closure. I need to show him that I’m not scared of him,” Jared says determined.

  


Misha sighs. “I’m guessing you want me to come with you.”

  


Jared nods. “I need you to help me through it, keep me calm.”

  


“Jared,” Misha shakes his head. “Just for the record, I don’t like it. Does Jensen know?” He holds his hand up when Jared wants to answer. “Stupid question, if he knew I wouldn’t be here.”

  


Jared bites his bottom lip nervously. “I’m gonna tell him, I promise. I just really need to do this.”

  


Misha sighs again. “Alright, Jared. I’ll go with you.”

  


“Thank you,” Jared says gratefully.

  


They drive to the prison where they incarcerated Paul for the period of remand. Half an hour later the officer leads them into a clean room with chairs in front of glass plates separating the visitor from the prisoner. Jared sits down and Misha’s hand settles calming and reassuring on his shoulder. Five minutes later Paul is seated in front of him. A smug smile settles on Paul’s face when he sees Jared.

  


“Can’t get enough of me, kitten, huh?” he asks sleazy. Jared tenses and Misha’s hand squeezes his shoulder. “Who’s this guy, pet? Where’s your little boyfriend?” Jared looks at his hands for a second and Paul chuckles cruelly. “He doesn’t know, does he? Tsk, tsk, tsk lying is not something to build a relationship on.”

  


“Shut up,” Jared snaps finally and throws the annulment papers on the table. “You know what that is?” he asks calmly. Paul shrugs uninterested. “These are the annulment papers. They nullify our marriage. I don’t belong to you anymore.”

  


Paul grins. “You’ll always belong to me, Jared. I’ll always be a part of you.”

  


Jared shakes his head and stands up leaning on his crutches. “Goodbye, Paul.” He hobbles away with Misha behind him.

  


“You little shit!” Paul screams. “You don’t get to walk away from me.”

  


Jared doesn’t turn around and leaves the visitation room with Paul’s voice screaming after him. He blacks it out. They walk through the prison and Jared feels how his body starts to tremble. He makes it outside before he needs to lean against the wall. Misha’s right there touching and soothing him but Jared doesn’t hear him. He feels like he can’t breathe and his vision blurs. His heart’s threatening to jump out of his chest and he’s panting.

  


“Jared breathe. You need to breathe, in and out, in and out.” Misha’s calm voice sounds through the fog and Jared tries to do what Misha’s asking. He breathes in and out, and slowly his heartbeat slows down and his sight clears. “In and out, Jared, in and out.”

  


“I’m okay, Misha. I’m okay,” he pants and Misha lets out a relieved breath.

  


“You scared me, Jared,” Misha admits.

  


“Let’s just go home,” Jared says slowly.

  


They drive home. Jensen is already waiting for them. There is a big frown on his forehead and Jared knows that Jensen knows where he’s been. Misha slaps his shoulder in support before leaving. Jared feels his heart speed up again.

  


“I know you’re mad,” he rushes to say.

  


Jensen shakes his head with an unreadable face and walks over to Jared cupping his face between his hands. “I’m not mad, Jay. I’d rather have gone with you. I want to be there for you, baby, even if that means going to prison with you visiting Paul.”

  


Jared nods. “I thought you’d be mad. That’s why I didn’t tell you. But I promise I would have. I wanted to tell you when you got home.”

  


Jensen rests his forehead against Jared’s jaw. “How did it go?”

  


Jared shrugs. “I feel better now.”

  


Jensen pulls him into a hug. “Just tell me next time so I can be there for you, okay?”

  


“I will. Promise,” Jared says seriously.

  


He buries his head in Jensen’s neck and breathes in the unique scent of deodorant and just Jensen. This right here feels like coming home from a long journey. It feels like he finally will be able to leave his past behind and move on with Jensen by his side.


	11. Bring Me to Life, Jensen/Jared, Epilogue

  
  
 

**_One year later_ **

  
  
 

  


“Jay? I’m home.”

  


Jensen closes the front door to their house and kicks away his shoes. It’s still new coming home to the pale green house with its white fence and the small front yard. They moved here two months ago after deciding that Jensen’s apartment was way too small for two grown guys. They lived in Jensen’s apartment for almost a year and in the end it just didn’t work for them anymore. Jared needed a place to paint and draw and Jensen wanted an office where he could close the door to work through files he brought home.

  


They never even considered buying a house until one day, Sherri came over and handed them the keys to this one. Jared and Jensen rejected it first, but Sherri told them that after the divorce from Gerry she had more money than she could possible spend and really wanted to give them something. Sherri convinced them to at least take a look at the house and Jared fell in love with the large windows and the sun that was hitting one of the rooms in the right light. Jensen just couldn’t say ‘no’ any longer seeing Jared’s bright smile and his dimples.

  


Jared and Sherri had become close after what happened. Sherri had gone to rehab for two months and Jared had been in contact as much as the program allowed it. She had changed a lot and Jensen can see it in the way she acts around Jared. He can even acknowledge that she loves and cares for Jared. That doesn’t mean that he likes her, though. He can’t forgive her for what she put Jared through and he only tolerates her because Jared asked him to.

  


It’s been a year since the horrible day when Jensen found Jared broken and raped at the bottom of the stairs in the house he shared with Paul. A lot has changed since then. The marriage between Jared and Paul got annulled with Josh’s help. Paul and Gerry are both in prison facing life sentences. Gerry should be glad that his lawyer was able to get him his trial in California and not Texas; otherwise he would be facing the death penalty.

  


Thanks to the files James extracted from the safe, Tom was able to charge Paul with arms and drugs smuggling and dealing and Jared’s testimony added rape to the list of offenses. Paul will never be a threat to Jared again.

  


That doesn’t mean it has been easy though. It has been pretty damn hard actually. In the early months after the rape Jared suffered from nightmares and panic attacks almost every day. He also refused to leave the apartment most of the time. Dr. Kripke had handed them a business card of one of his colleagues, a psychologist.

  


Dr. Gamble is a nice woman in her mid-thirties and Jared has been going to sessions with her for the last six months. Shortly after the rape he refused to even acknowledge that he had a problem and that maybe talking to someone could help. Jensen felt pretty much at a loss of what to do and had been patient with Jared but finally, Jared realized that talking about what happened might help.

  


Ever since then Jared is visiting Dr. Gamble once a week and he’s getting better. He smiles more and he paints and draws funny and lighthearted motives again. Jensen is glad about the progress Jared has made. Their relationship had been so damn young when the rape happened and more than once Jensen doubted that it would survive the aftermath. But, in the end, they came out stronger than before. They’re still helplessly in love and it’s growing stronger every day.

  


Jensen walks into the big kitchen and sees Jared standing at the counter cutting tomatoes. The sweatpants he’s wearing hang low on his hips and the old black Led Zeppelin t-shirt hugs his broad shoulders. Jensen’s mouth goes dry. His boyfriend is so damn gorgeous.

  


Dr. Gamble had suggested taking some self defense lessons. When Jared realized that he liked the physical exertion he started working out and jogging in the mornings. It had done wonders to Jared’s already great body. Now Jensen’s boyfriend is looking like some kind of Greek god and Jensen wants nothing more than to bend Jared over the counter and fuck him.

  


It had taken Jared a lot of time to let Jensen touch him again, let alone make love to him, and Jensen had tried to be patient and supportive. It had been hard though, especially when Jared started working out and gaining muscles. Jensen had never jerked off so much in his whole life, but he would never have pressured Jared into sex.

  


A few weeks after they had moved into their new home, Jared had welcomed Jensen home lying on their bed naked and ready. He had begged Jensen to replace the bad memories with good ones and Jensen had complied. They had made love and Jensen had held Jared while he cried afterwards. It broke his heart and he asked himself if it would always be like this, but Jared seemed to have needed that. Ever since, they were back to the way they were at the ranch, fucking like bunnies.

  


Jensen snorts at the thought and Jared turns around. His face lights up when he sees Jensen and Jared gives him a dimpled smile.

  


“Hey, Jen,” he says softly. “I’m almost finished. Just cutting the tomatoes for the salad.”

  


Jensen walks over, takes the knife out of Jared’s hand and leans up to run his tongue over Jared’s bottom lip. Jared moans and rubs his crotch against Jensen’s.

  


“How long?” Jensen asks against Jared’s lips.

  


He checks the clock on the wall. “Half an hour.” Jared’s voice is rough and full of lust.

  


“Good.” Jensen nods and pulls Jared upstairs to the shower.

  
  
 

  


They emerge twenty minutes later and Jared feels pleasantly sore. It’s completely different to the pain he felt over the last year. Even though the physical pain faded a couple of weeks after the rape, the mental pain accompanied him until the minute he let Jensen take it away by letting him make love to Jared.

  


He watches Jensen getting dressed and he wishes their friends wouldn’t be here in ten minutes. Over the last two months it had become a regular thing to have dinner together once a week. It’s nice, relaxing and comfortable, and Jared likes those get-togethers, but today he’d rather feel Jensen’s skin beneath his fingers.

  


“You need to get dressed, baby,” Jensen says amused and hands him a pair of jeans Sophia designed especially for Jared and a silky, black button-down shirt.

  


“I’d rather stay naked with you.” Jared lets his hands roam over Jensen’s deep green shirt feeling his lover’s muscles flex beneath his fingers.

  


“Sophia will kick our asses,” Jensen laughs digging his fingers into Jared’s buttocks. “Later you’re all mine, though.”

  


They kiss passionately for a minute or two and then Jensen pulls away ordering Jared to put on his clothes. Jared gets dressed quickly and follows Jensen downstairs, just in time to open the door revealing Chad and Sophia.

  


Sophia has transferred her office to the LA branch of her company and only flies to New York once or twice a month. She and Chad are getting married in a few weeks and Jared couldn’t be happier for his friends. He’s also glad that Sophia decided to move to LA because she’s an awesome friend, encouraging and supporting Jared in every way she can.

  


Thanks to her and Alona – he’s still in close contact with all the people on the ranch – Jared decided to apply to several colleges and got accepted to the arts program at UCLA on a full ride starting the following Monday. He couldn’t believe it when the acceptance letter came but Jensen just said, with a big smile on his face, that he expected nothing else.

  


Jared greets Sophia with a hug and ushers them into the large living room where he already set the table. Chris and Steve ring the bell seconds later and Jared pulls them both into a hug. They’ve become good friends over the last year and even drove up to San Francisco for one of Steve’s gigs in April.

  


Mike and Tom arrive with baby Lily shortly after Chris and Steve. They adopted Lily six months ago and she’s a little ray of sunshine. After saying ‘hello’ to Mike and Tom, Jared sweeps her out of the carrier. She grins at him with one tooth and tugs at his long hair.

  


“Hello, baby girl,” he coos and nuzzles her neck taking in her scent of baby powder and lotion. Lily giggles and Jared swings her around.

  


“If she throws up you’ll clean it up, just so you know,” Jensen says with faked annoyance.

  


Jared rolls his eyes and rubs his nose against Lily’s. “Uncle Jensen is grumpy,” he growls and Lily giggles again.

  


He follows Mike and Tom into the living room when he hears Jensen open the door. He knows it’s James. After James came forward with the evidence against Paul, they became close friends and James fit into their little group of friends perfectly. James is the only single though and sometimes Jared feels his eyes on him. Jensen told him once that James was in love with Jared and Jared didn’t want to believe it. But maybe Jensen is right. Jared knows, though, James would never do something to come between him and Jensen. He really hopes that James will be able to move on and find someone who loves him as much as Jared loves Jensen. He deserves that.

  


They all sit down at the nicely set table and Jared goes into the kitchen getting the roast beef, the veggies and the salad. Soon animated chatter fills the room and Jared watches his friends talking about their day. It’s nice just to watch without being part of the conversation.

  


He listens to Mike talk about Lily throwing up all over Tom’s best suit and laughs when she claps her hands as if she knows exactly what Mike is talking about. Steve talks about his new record and Sophia tells them about the new men’s line she’s about to design.

  


Jensen’s hand falls to Jared’s thigh and squeezes slightly. “You okay?” he asks with a concerned note in his voice.

  


Jared turns to face him and smiles happily. “I’m great.”

  


Jensen smiles back and brushes his lips against Jared’s cheek. “I love you, baby.”

  


“Love you, too,” Jared says softly.

  


He leans back against his chair and rubs a hand over his full stomach. Sometimes Jared can’t believe that he’s blessed with such good friends. If someone would have told him last year that today he would be sitting here with so many people he cares about and who care about him he wouldn’t have believed it.

  


Over the last year he often thought that he might never be okay again after what happened. But days and moments like these show him that it is possible to be happy again. It’s not going to be easy, Jared knows that, but he has every reason to try.

  
  
 

  


It’s already after dark when Mike takes the sleeping Lily out of Jensen’s arms. Jensen grumbles a little and Jared can’t keep from smiling. Jensen with a baby in his arms the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. Jared has never thought about having kids but seeing Jensen with Lily Jared thinks he might want one someday.

  


They say ‘goodbye’ to their friends and when the door closes Jensen turns around hooking his forefingers in Jared’s belt loops tugging him to Jensen.

  


“I wanna fuck you so bad, baby,” Jensen whispers huskily running is hands over Jared’s chest and opening the buttons of his shirt.

  


“God,” Jared groans deep in his throat and his dick hardens in his pants.

  


They make their way upstairs undressing each other and when they reach the bedroom they’re naked. Jensen’s skin glows like marble in the moonlight and Jared leans down to run his tongue around one of Jensen’s nipples. Jensen’s hands sink into Jared’s hair, weaving it through his fingers.

  


“You’re so damn gorgeous Jay,” Jensen says awed. “I wanna taste you, baby.”

  


Jared moans and Jensen leads him to the bed. He lies down so that Jensen can settle between his legs. The older man leans forward catching Jared’s mouth in a passionate kiss, while his hands roam over his chest before one curls around his hard-on. He’s already leaking pre-come and bucks up into Jensen’s fist looking for friction.

  


When they part Jared is panting and his head’s spinning from the lack of air but it feels so damn good. Jensen trails wet kisses down Jared’s chest, twirling his tongue around Jared’s nipples before licking further down. He dips his tongue into Jared’s bellybutton while his hand continues to jerk Jared off in a slow pace.

  


It’s not enough, not nearly enough and Jared sinks his fingers into Jensen’s short hair urging him on. “Please Jen, please,” he begs.

  


“What, Jay? What do you want? You want me to suck you or fuck you?” Jensen asks cheekily.

  


Jared groans. “Both,” he grits out. “Please, Jen. Want your mouth and then your cock. Need your cock.”

  


Jensen chuckles before he envelopes Jared’s dick with his mouth. It’s wet and hot and oh so perfect. Jared bucks his hips up in Jensen’s mouth rubbing the underside of his cock along Jensen’s tongue. In the meantime Jensen is fumbling with the lube coating his fingers with it. Jared still feels open from before but he loves the way Jensen prepares him for his cock.

  


They both got tested and Jared is glad that they can do without condoms. It’s so much better to feel Jensen come in his ass. Jensen is still sucking Jared’s dick enthusiastically when a finger trails down between Jared’s ass cheeks. He tenses for a fraction of a second but Jensen notices and pulls off with a soft plop.

  


“It’s just me, Jay. I won’t hurt you. Just say a word and I’ll stop,” Jensen says seriously.

  


Jared shakes his head. “No, don’t stop, please. I want it. I want you.”

  


Jensen smiles and once again takes Jared’s cock into his mouth. His finger touches Jared’s entrance, teasing and rubbing before pushing inside to the first knuckle. Jared groans and his fingers tighten on Jensen’s hair. Slowly Jensen fucks his finger in and out of Jared’s ass stimulating the sensitive nerves. His tongue is circling Jared’s cock head before licking from top to bottom over his balls down to his perineum. When Jensen reaches the spot where his finger disappears into Jared’s body he licks around it.

  


“Oh God, Jen,” Jared moans.

  


“Taste so good, Jay,” Jensen breathes against his thigh, while he adds another finger.

  


He stretches Jared, scissoring his fingers and when he brushes his fingertips against Jared’s prostate he almost bucks off the bed. Pleasure flows freely through his body and he fucks himself back on Jensen’s finger.

  


“That’s it, baby,” Jensen croons. “Fuck yourself open for my cock. God you love it, don’t you, Jay? Love my fingers in your ass.”

  


Jared nods, too aroused to talk.

  


Jensen adds a third finger and Jared groans at the familiar stretch. He loves it, loves being opened by Jensen, loves being fucked by Jensen. Every time Jensen pushes inside him he feels loved and cared for. He feels like he belongs to Jensen and it’s the best feeling ever.

  


Suddenly Jensen’s cock is prodding at his entrance and Jared relaxes. He opens his eyes and sees Jensen smiling at him lovingly. He pushes inside and Jared wraps his legs high around his hips.

  


“Jay, so tight, baby, even though I already fucked you today,” Jensen groans and Jared digs his fingers into his back.

  


“Move Jen, move,” he urges.

  


Jensen starts to move slowly but picks up a faster rhythm quickly. He pounds in Jared’s ass brushing against Jared’s prostate on every stroke and Jared is close, so close.

  


“Touch me Jen, please,” he begs throatily.

  


A warm hand wraps around Jared’s aching cock and starts jerking him off counter to the pounding in his ass. He feels his orgasm tingle in his feet first and then he’s coming hard over his belly and Jensen’s fist.

  


“So hot, Jay,” Jensen groans and then he comes hot and wet inside Jared’s ass.

  


When they come down from their heights Jensen presses his lips softly against Jared’s in a sweet kiss. Then he pulls out and Jared instantly misses him. Sometime he wishes they could be connected like this forever. Jensen walks into the en suite bathroom and gets a washcloth. He cleans Jared lovingly before throwing the washcloth in the direction of the bathroom and settling next to Jared on the bed.

  


Jared lays his head on Jensen’s chest and draws random patterns on his lover’s skin. Jensen runs his hands through Jared’s hair soothingly.

  


“Jen?” Jared asks shyly after a few minutes.

  


“Yeah, baby?”

  


“You ever thought about having kids?” Jared replies quietly not sure if he wants to hear the answer.

  


Jensen is silent for quite some time and it’s freaking Jared out. But then his arms tighten around Jared. “Honestly, I’ve never given it much thought. But being with you, seeing you with Lily, I’d love to have kids with you.”

  


Jared props up on his elbow. “Really?” he asks uncertain.

  


Jensen smiles. “Really. Maybe not right away. But definitely someday.”

  


A bright smile appears on Jared’s face. “Someday then. Maybe we can start with a dog. What do you think?”

  


“A dog sounds awesome, Jay,” Jensen chuckles. “Now get to sleep, baby.”

  


Jared yawns and settles his head on Jensen’s chest again. This is how he falls asleep, happy and excited about tomorrow. His life has just begun.

  
  
 

  


A black shadow sneaks through the nightly streets of Los Angeles. The man is dressed in black pants, a hoodie and a baseball cap is pulled low in his face. It’s dark and the alley he just turned into is only lit by a far away street light. It’s a little spooky and he shudders lifting his hand to knock on the old, rusty metal door. Three times long, three times short. That’s how they told him to knock.

  


The little window in the door opens and the man on the other side grunts.

  


“Blackbird,” the man on the outside whispers quickly and the window is slammed in his face.

  


The door doesn’t open immediately and the man wonders, if maybe the password has changed or this is a trap. He considers running, but he doesn’t. He waits for what feels like eternity, rocking back and forth on his heels. And when the door finally opens and he looks at his watch it’s only three minutes later. He huffs, entering the old run-down warehouse and the door falls shut behind him.

  


The hallway is only lit by two or three small lights and you can’t see much. Suddenly, he is pushed forward, until they reach a large storage. A guy is leaning against one of the pillars, smirking smugly. He’s huge, at least five to six inches bigger than the man in the black hoodie and with broad shoulders like a football player. For a second the man wonder if this was a mistake, if they will kill him right here and now. But then he holds the manila folder he has in his hand tighter and knows that this is his life insurance.

  


“What do you want?” The huge guy asks gruffly. His voice is rough and deep from smoking too much cigarettes.

  


“I wanna talk to Alfredo,” the man replies calmly, knowing that if these guys notice how nervous he is he’ll never get to see Alfredo.

  


“Why?” Huge guy barks.

  


“None of your business,” he says. “But I have information that Alfredo would definitely want to know.”

  


Huge guy huffs, but waves him to follow upstairs. They climb an old and rusty staircase and he hopes it won’t collapse under the weight he and huge guy are putting on the steps. When they reach the top, huge guy leads him to a small iron door and knocks.

  


“Come in,” a voice calls and huge guy pulls him inside the room. It’s an office, full of racks and shelves full of folders and papers. At the end is a desk and behind it is sitting a lean man with dark blond hair and piercing blue eyes.

  


“This guy says he has information for you.” Huge guy’s hand is curling around his biceps and it kind of hurts.

  


Alfredo folds his hands on the desk leaning forward, watching him intently. The man squirms in huge guy’s hold. Alfredo flips his fingers and huge guy releases his hold.

  


“What information?” He asks curious, his Italian accent heavy in his voice.

  


“I know who killed Coltrano.”

  


Alfredo’s eyes widen slightly, but that’s the only evidence that he’s surprised at what he’s hearing. “Leave us, Freddie.” Huge guy, Freddie apparently, nods and closes the door behind him. “So, who are you?”

  


“Doesn’t matter,” the man says.

  


“And how did you know who killed Coltrano?”

  


“Doesn’t matter, either,” he replies. “What matters is that we both want Coltrano’s killer to get what he deserves.” Alfredo raises his eyebrows. “In this folder you find everything you need.” He hands the folder over to Alfredo.

  


Alfredo skims through the folder and when he looks up there is an icy smile displayed on his face. “Why would you want him dead?”

  


“I have my reasons,” the man says calmly. Alfredo raises his eyebrows again and he continues, “He hurt someone I care about.”

  


For a second the man thinks that Alfredo will give him back the folder and kick him out, but then he nods. “I understand.” He calls huge guy. “Freddie, show this gentleman to the door. We’re finished.”

  


The man gets up, shakes hands with Alfredo and follows Freddie back through the old warehouse to the exit. He only lets out his breath when he’s safely back out in the dark alley. This is it. It’s done. Finally.

  
  
 

  


Inside the old warehouse Alfredo is looking more accurately through the folder mysterious guy just handed him. After Coltrano was found dead last year, Alfredo had taken over the business, but everyone knew that he was still loyal to Coltrano’s memory and would he get the chance, kill the person who killed Coltrano.

  


Freddie comes back inside and sits down on the opposite side of the desk. “You think it was smart to let the guy go?”

  


“Yes,” Alfredo nods. “He’s no threat to us.”

  


“So,” Freddie points at the folder, “what does it say? Who killed Coltrano?”

  


Alfredo looks up from the folder and smiles sardonically. “Paul Johansson.”

  


The End


End file.
